Growth | Brenda Eckstein International

Finding freedom

July 30, 2020 by Brenda Leave a Comment

While we are locked-down and our external worlds are volatile, uncertain, complex and ambiguous (VUCA) are we going to helplessly allow our inner worlds to wither? Or will we consciously enable buds to freely unfold in the sunshine of our souls? Being ‘in the moment’ can help us to tune in to our natural potential.

There are countless examples of how imprisonment can bring forth growth. Caterpillars, at first free to roam branches in the light or shade, become trapped in cocoons. Later they emerge as butterflies. This happens not only in nature. Anderson and Mathur-Helm in their article ‘Mandela: The art of the authentic leader | London Business School’, emphasise how Mandela, when incarcerated, was stripped of his outer trappings of leadership. As his physical world grew smaller, his inner world expanded. He found a new kind of freedom.

This golden thread runs through other writings where people have become confined. Patterns can be seen. Thoreau, in his diary writing of April 13 1852 wrote that ‘the imprisoning storm condenses our thoughts’ and that his life was enriched though the experience.

Looking back, this aligns to my entry on Day 1 ‘Diary Writing: a short course’ presented by Finuala Dowling in which I’m currently engaged. I ponder how, during this time of lock-down there seems to be more clarity. We have been forced to get off the treadmill of our ‘normal’ lives and become more resourceful. I find it easier to articulate and make explicit the tumultuous sea of thoughts which sometimes seem overwhelming.

In my diary entry I refer to an example involving a simple daily exercise where I view the beauty of the rising sun from my bedroom window each morning. I have been able to do this for many years whenever I’m home. During this pandemic, stripped of my freedom to travel for pleasure or on business, I’m always home and able to enjoy this changing view each day. In capturing the moment, I stop and take a photo with my cell-phone. I do this purposefully in order to create a pause in my life. Within the crucible of the gigantic suspension imposed by lockdown, our smaller pauses provide significant structure and need to continue – but perhaps differently to the way we conducted them prior to our current global disaster?

‘Day 1: Saturday July 4 2020
I love the view from my bedroom window. It puts me in touch with my soul. Each morning I rush to the window, hoping it isn’t too late to experience the pink light of dawn. I pause and capture the moment through the camera on my cell- phone.

It is a point in time that will never return. Moments later the light will be different, the colour of the sky more or less pink. The clouds might have changed shape and the mist over the city lifted.

Now time is more abundant. I was suddenly inspired to experiment and try the zoom lens on my cell-phone camera. I had always recoiled in horror at friends who, without heeding quality, zoomed in to far distant scenes, creating less distance between themselves and their point of view. And why would you want to reduce the quality, not only of the whole experience, but also of the outcome, a photo which captured that moment and had permanence? To me, it had seemed acceptable to do this with a good camera but not with a cell-phone. I had underestimated the quality of the camera on my own cell-phone!

Last week, I consciously relaxed my previous prejudice and zoomed in to a distant tree, stark in winter. I was overcome by the beauty of the tree contrasting with the softness of the dawn pink sky as a backdrop. The tree might not have its leaves, but it was alive not only within its skeletal being, but was also given life through the birds thronging in the upper branches, celebrating the new morning.

Another distinction arose that night. I feel asleep early and woke again at 10:20pm. Ethereal light came through the crack in our blinds. I was intrigued and quietly went to the window. The sky was bright, reflecting the full moon. Yet, in the distance I could see the outlines of dark trees, among them, the stark tree I now zoom in to most mornings. Why had I never thought of viewing the night world through my camera? Had I thought that nothing could be seen just because the sun had gone to sleep? No. One of my blind spots had prevented me from considering this option.

I silently absorbed the new beauty before me. I looked at the scene through my cell-phone and felt a sense of gratitude that, even late at night, I could see outlines of trees and the tiny sparkling lights of the city in the far distance. Bravely I zoomed in and saw a beautiful sight. Being out of focus makes the picture even more meaningful!

My appreciation of the beauty of these new experiences transcends my sadness over my past stuckness in not realising that I can view the moment through so many more different lenses. As an executive coach, I feel like a fraud. I help people to access and use new pathways that will assist them in feeling that they are flourishing. Reflection and journaling are essential. Yet, I have so much to learn. Life is that teacher.

Restrictions such as those we are experiencing during the current pandemic can help us to become more resourceful. I now have a new treasure chest filled with opportunities for me. I am flourishing even under very difficult circumstances. I have found a new freedom’

I was able, in that diary entry to express how I am more mindful now. I have time to un-bias some of my unconscious prejudices and try new ways of using the diminished resources that I do have. I have found a new freedom…freedom from being trapped in past perceptions and practices. Captivity has provided a new lens.

What general lessons can we learn? How might our current sentence provide the freedom to explore our former stuckness and complacency? In which ways may ongoing confinement enhance our ‘way of being’? Our lives have changed and we need to reflect, recognise, explore and optimise new opportunities.

Questions for reflection

What does freedom mean to you?
How has your inner world changed over the last few months?
Which new practices have you introduced?
How has the current pandemic enabled you to use resources, including time, differently?
Which new opportunities can you use to your advantage?
Who can help you to view life through a range of different lenses?
When the pandemic ends and you have the freedom to return to your previous ‘way of being’, in which ways might that be different to your previous ‘normal’?

For more information on executive coaching, leadership development or training, you are welcome to visit our website – www.strategy-leadership.com or contact brenda@strategy-leadership.com

Beans

August 21, 2014 by Brenda Leave a Comment

In our Executive Coaching and various training programmes, we encourage participants to develop their cognitive and emotional sides. For some this involves developing their creativity and for others, being reminded of their talents. By helping to build new neural pathways, participants are more likely to use their talents.

As a symbol of Growth, in many of our programmes, the participants are given five dried beans. The questions are:

What causes the bean to be dormant?
What external forces might cause it to sprout?
What is happening inside the bean as the energy builds?
Which bursts forth first? (root – grounding)
What comes next? (shoot reaching upwards)
And then what is the horizontal pull?

There are so many more questions that could be asked and these would amplify the message.

This is a great metaphor for our own lives. We are the dormant beans and often an outside influence, like being exposed to a training or coaching programme, will cause the energy to build. By putting roots down, we become more grounded, gain sustenance etc. The upward shoots reach towards the sun and the illumination becomes a catalyst for changes, well-being and growth.

When asked to do something creative with their beans, I’m fascinated by the way in which participants meet the challenge and present their work at the next session. Gareth Ramsey, a young man who is part of the Treverton Post-matric group and engaged in our twelve-week Communication Skills programme, wrote this poem and I’m grateful that he agreed to share:

Beans…

Simple beans
Simple dreams
One and the same
To achieve we train
Beans grow because of the rain
We both grow
By experiencing pain

But to what end?
To be the mighty oak
Who shelters all and their yolk?
Or the slender stalk
Who blow tenderly in the breeze
And live their lives totally at ease?

But there is one truth for both
The strong shelter all
Even the weak
And the ones at ease
Always try appease
and make one brighten a life in need

Regardless both make use
Despite any suffered abuse
As a babe lies tenderly in its mothers arm,
And a bean rests in my palm
Both have potential
They just need love to be a little
Tender and warm.

For more information on our Communication Skills, EYES (Enhance Your Executive Skills) other training programmes or Executive Coaching, please contact brenda@146.66.90.172 or phone +27 82 4993311.

148: Colour your life

January 15, 2014 by Brenda Leave a Comment

I have often written and spoken about the importance of ‘touchstones’ in enhancing our well-being. ‘Touchstones’ are the experiences, aromas, tastes, sights, sounds, touches that bring out the best in us and make us feel really good? In my Executive Coaching I help people to identify their touchstones and then consciously bring them into their ‘everyday lives’.

This ties in with my insights a few years ago when reading ‘Care of the soul’ by Thomas Moore. The subtitle is ‘A guide for cultivating depth and sacredness in everyday life’. He says: ‘when you look at the image of soulfulness, you see that it is tied to life in all its particulars – good food, satisfying conversation, genuine friends, and experiences that stay in the memory and touch the heart.

To demonstrate my message, let me share one of my own examples: I’m passionate about sunrise and am privileged to live where I can experience the joy of sunrise from my bedroom window each morning. This starts every day with great wonder and appreciation of my connectedness to the Universe. I enjoy watching the light changing and going through different tones of pink, I love the sounds of the bird calls backed by the stillness of a world still half asleep. The busyness of the day has not yet begun.

So, in addition to making sure I’m up every morning in time to experience sunrise, how else can I bring more of that touchstone into my life? Let’s look at patterns - I enjoy the privilege of having my own garden where I can plant and grow flowers and I consciously plant those that will remind me of sunrise. Yesterday I was excited to find that a rose I planted last year had come into flower. Appropriately named, ‘African Dawn’ this rose has the most amazing range of colours. In the photo you’ll see three flowers from the same bush.

So I picked those roses and brought them into my home. What do they remind me of? You guessed it….. sunrise. So this is one way in which I’m consciously creating a ‘golden thread’ running through various aspects of my life. I placed the roses in my coaching room as a reminder that I need to help others to bring their touchstones into their lives on a daily basis.

A good Executive Coach can help you to live life to the fullest. The benefits are enormous – more energy, greater work/life balance, enhanced self-leadership and leadership of others. Continuous improvement leads to sustainable growth and helps us to shift our ‘way of being’.

What are your touchstones?

How can you include them even more in your everyday lives?

For more information on coaching or keynote speaking please contact Brenda on brenda@146.66.90.172 or +27 82 4993311.

134: ‘Courageous Cat’ or ‘Dumb Delinquent’?

September 19, 2013 by Brenda Leave a Comment

We learn by doing and taking prudent risks is part of the growth process. At an early age we learn that an action may be perceived by some as courageous, while others consider it to be irresponsible or unintelligent. Fear of making mistakes or being judged by others can hold us back. So often we need to be undeterred by approval or disapproval. Let me give you an example:

From the treadmill at gym I look out at beautiful green hills and plantations in the distance. Nearby is a gully about 3 metres deep and the same width lined with rocks. This has become the playground for a litter of three kittens and they have a wonderful time hunting lizards and other appropriate creatures that live amongst the rocks.

Last Sunday I noticed that they are now half-grown, possibly at the same stage as human teenagers. Two played together in the gully while the third was more interested in what was happening ‘beyond’. He was curious. Pulling himself up and peering from the gully, he spotted a lone ‘Ha-di-da’ (Ibis) pecking at insets or worms on the flat area of low grass. This is unusual as these huge birds with a beautiful purple sheen are usually found in pairs or large groups.

The cat, overcome by his urge to hunt and oblivious to the fact that the bird was more than double his size, began to stalk his prey. As I am unsure of whether our cat was a ‘him’ or a ‘her’ I shall continue to use the masculine gender.

His two siblings, curious, pulled themselves up and peered out the gully. They took one look at their brother – and decided that their own hunting was far more fun and continued with their games amongst the rocks, chasing prey of a more appropriate size.;

‘Courageous Cat’ as I have decided to name him, crouched down, watching the bird. Slowly he drew closer and closer and at the well-chosen moment attacked his prey, catching him unawares. With a raucous ‘haw’ typical of the ‘ha-di-da’, the prey lifted two metres off the ground, spanning his large wings. Our cat had attached his teeth to a few feathers and was momentarily lifted into the air but couldn’t hold his grip and went somersaulting to the ground. As he landed he dashed for shelter under a nearby deserted supermarket trolley. The bird on the other hand seemed unconcerned by the minor annoyance of the cat and immediately continued pecking at the grass, systematically searching for his food.

I watched, absorbed in the unfolding drama. After a few minutes the cat, undeterred by his dangerous encounter, began to gain courage and could no longer resist the temptation to again stalk his prey. Closer and closer he crept, stopping and crouching low each time the bird turned around. To me as the observer, this was an unnecessary precaution as the dry winter grass was so low that the bird could easily see the approaching cat even when he was trying to ‘lie low’.

I waited eagerly for the next installment. However, the bird, either pretending not to notice the cat, or purposely wanting to annoy him, decided to fly away presumably to return to his flock. The game was sadly over. However, for me this was not the end of the story as there were many insights and this scenario raises many interesting questions:

Would you refer to the cat as ‘courageous’ – or ‘delinquent’?
Does this adventure show that he is a ‘slow learner’ or that he has great determination? And what does it say about the bird?
How prudent were the risks he was taking?
What made the one cat want to go hunting this ridiculously large bird while his siblings stuck together, playing safely in the gully, presumably looking for the odd lizard? They were doing what could be considered more appropriate for juvenile cats. They were safer. What characteristics of his were different from the other two?
What part did relationships play in their being disinterested? The two in the gully were obviously ‘close’ – and he was the outsider in that group. So did he need to invent his own games?
What part does ‘not knowing’ play in this story? He obviously didn’t know that the bird was far too large for him to kill. So he instinctively went for ‘the kill’. He was prepared to take risks. The other two might have realised it was impossible.
I like to define an entrepreneur as ‘some-one who finds value where others haven’t yet found value’. So, as our ‘hero’ (or you may prefer to think of him as our ‘fraudulent feline’) matures, how much better chance does he have of succeeding as an entrepreneur? ;
By the time this cat grows up, how much more real life practice will he have experienced than his siblings? So how much more capable will he be when he does mature?
How can this metaphor be applied in our lives?
Which cat would you employ? Please give your reasons.

Yes, there are many different perspectives to ponder. I still think the hunter was a brave little guy who found this large bird irresistible. What do you think?

For more information on ‘Executive coaching’ or ‘Keynote speaking’ please contact Brenda on brenda@146.66.90.172 or +27 82 4993311.

127: Growth through Integral Coaching

August 15, 2013 by Brenda Leave a Comment

As mentioned in the two previous articles, Growth is an integral element in our training and coaching. And to symbolise Growth, in many programmes I use the distinction of a dried red kidney bean. The bean may lie dormant for years. Then suddenly when exposed to the right amount of water, energy starts to build from within. In the case of humans, this new stimulation could be the influence of Integral Coaching, also referred to in this website as ‘Executive Coaching’.

The bean bursts and the root goes down to anchor the plant. Humans also need to be ‘grounded’ in order to cope with life’s many challenges and be the best that we can possibly be. The root also provides conduit taking water and minerals from the soil so that it can be pumped and distributed to the cells in the rest of the plant.

Next, the shoot, escaping the safely of the dried bean goes upwards reaching towards the sun, into the fresh air in order to tap into oxygen and other elements which will sustain the plant. Humans reach upward finding a new source of light or enlightenment.

Depending on the type of earth and environment in which the plant finds itself, it will thrive or be stunted. In humans we have the advantage of being able to move ourselves towards fertile soil once we ‘unblock’ our blind spots. And Integral Coaching can help us to do that. However, without regular water, the plant will battle to survive. What are you doing to expose yourself to ongoing positive stimulation?

L-R: Riaan van der Merwe, Bonnie Mbewe, Bongani Gumede, Lorato Mosetlhanyane, Moses Ngorima, and Brenda Eckstein.

I am privileged to be the mentor for a group of coaches studying towards their Associate Coaching Course (ACC) through the Centre for Coaching, Graduate School of Business, UCT. At our recent session, as an exercise in developing distinctions, I invited each member of the ‘pod’ to contribute a mini-lesson on personal Growth and allocated one letter from the word BEANS to each. Their independent valuable input follows:

B – Body - Bonnie Mbewe

We need to take care of our body, mind and spirit as part of our personal growth. The body can collapse if not looked after properly. One can take care of the body through good nutrition, i.e. eating healthily, regular exercise and rest. It is essential for personal growth that one gets enough sleep so the body can regenerate cells. The body tells us when it is tired. It becomes sluggish and can manifest in illness which can lead to a complete breakdown. The body is like a computer that needs to reboot in order to work optimally.

E – Energy – Bongani Gumede

Have you noticed how your levels of energy and of those around you influence how much you achieve? Even when driving you assess the terrain and determine how much energy your vehicle needs to achieve the desired outcome. Our bodies and minds function similarly, it is important that when we approach a task at hand we ‘rev’ and pump up our energy, drive ourselves through the task to achieve the desired outcomes. As Tony Robbins once said, "The higher your energy level, the more efficient your body will be and, the more efficient your body, the better you feel and the more you will use your talent to produce outstanding results."

A – Attitude – Lorato Mosetlhanyane

Our attitude is the difference maker in everything we do and personal growth is not an exception. James Allen said “people are anxious to change their circumstances but are unwilling to change themselves, they therefore remain bound.” As coaches, we cannot give what you don’t have. We therefore have to develop ourselves and grow to keep adding value to others as coaches. If we believe we are learned as coaches, that attitude will stand on our way, but if we humble ourselves and have a teachable spirit, we will learn, grow and be in a position to help others grow and become better people.

As coaches, let us be rivers and not reservoirs: reservoirs take in water to only fill themselves up, but a river, whatever water it receives, it gives away. If we want to keep coaching, we have to keep growing.

N – Nutrients - Moses Ngorima

Nutrients are essential for a coach’s sustenance and growth and these include physical, mental, spiritual and emotional nutrients. Physical nutrients are ingested or obtained from the environment e.g. food and energy from sunlight respectively. They may also come from rest, sleep and exercise. Mental nutrients may be obtained from learning new things such as integral coaching while spiritual nutrients may be obtained from various activities such as reading, prayer, mediation, and yoga. Emotional nutrients could be obtained from joy emanating from deep relationships and connections with worthy purposes.

S – Strategy – Riaan van der Merwe

When looking back at my growth over the past years, it has become clear to me that, without fail, the periods I became most stuck was when I lacked a plan – a strategy – for my life. We often become so engrossed in our busyness that we forget to take time out, stop and take a deep breath – to realise where we are and where we are going. We have all heard the saying: ‘If you don’t know where you are going, any path will take you there!

Pod-members, thank you for your wonderful input! I’m delighted with the team’s individual contributions which have created a harmonious ‘whole’. Together Everyone Achieves More! It is the TEAM that counts. Together we can Grow and spread our learnings.

For more information on Executive Coaching using Integral methodologies, please contact Brenda Eckstein on +27 82 4993311 or brenda@146.66.90.172

126: Individual Growth, Part 2

August 13, 2013 by Brenda Leave a Comment

In the previous article we shared three ‘bean stories’. Each participant in the twelve-week ‘Communication Skills’ training course was given five dried beans and asked to come back to the next session with a presentation incorporating all five beans. Their instructions included reflection using the beans as a metaphor for Growth. They were to see what lessons or stories they could develop.

Here are three more colourful stories from a different group currently engaged in a twelve-week programme.

L-R: Zethu Cele, Ntombikayise Ngcobo, and Nomasonto Sithole.

Zethu Cele - My 5 beans

I divide my 5 beans into 5 important people in my life:

Friends, family, community, neighbours and colleagues.

I’m also using 5 different colours to identify these people:

Glitter, green, pink, black and red.

Friends - glitter

Family - green

Community - black

Neighbours - red

Colleagues - pink

[1] Friends

My friends are very important people in my life because they are always there for me, when I am in a sad situation they come and comfort me. They carry my problems and find the solution; they make me feel like nothing wrong has happened. When I am in a happy situation they are also there with me. I can even ask advice, they give me good advice. That is why I refer to my friends as glitter because they are shining.

[2] Family

My family are the most important people in my life because they made my future become brighter. They take care of me when I’m sick. They send me to school. They taught me about god, my culture, when I have financial problems they take care of me even if I don’t have any problem they are always with me. I refer to my family as green in colour because the care they give me leads me to green pastures.

[3] Community

The people of my community I live with are important to me because I share some ideas with them of how are we going to develop our community. I refer to them as black because we are and we fight development.

[4]Neighbours

My neighbours are also important people to me because if I need emergency help my neighbours are the first people to give help, although sometimes they cause problems, some of them are jealous. That is why I refer to them as red in colour.

[5] Colleagues

My colleagues are also important to me because they make my job easier. I stay with them from 8h00 to 16h30, from Monday to Friday sharing the tasks of the department, without them I would not do my job properly. My colleagues are all ladies. I refer to them as pink.

Zethu, thank you for this delightful contribution.

Ntombikayise Ngcobo - 5 Beans

5 BEANS

GROWTH
To be able to grow anything, you need to make sure you know how you are going to go about getting the correct results. When growing beans you first have to soak them in water until you see little sprouts from the bean. In life to grow you need to nurture your talents and your God given gift. By doing this you nurture your talents and gifts and then you are sure to get the best results ever.
VALUE
If you have one bean in your hand, you must not just see one bean; you must know that, if you plant that one bean you will get a whole lot when it is time to harvest. Often in life we don’t realise that the things we have hold such great value. You might not realise it at that time but this teaches us to always value what we have and we must take what we have and think outside the box as to what we can do with what we have, or maybe we don’t really have to think outside the box, maybe we need to realise that there is no box.
OPPORTUNITIES
There are a lot of farming opportunities in our country and people can start farming projects in their communities. Beans are easy to grow and when you plant one seed you are guaranteed to get more out than you put in.
I would then plant my one bean.
The last bean reminds me of my mentor at work, Zanele Mbeje. During month end in our department it gets very busy and she always says “Eish, people times are hard, beans on toast…”

Ntombikayisa, thank you for your colourful and provocative contribution.

Nomasonto Sithole - Five good things about my 5 beans

White
It is a clean and elegant colour, most designers prefer white when they design their things. White can be mixed or matched with any colour. Most churches use white in their church uniforms.
Blue
We are surrounded by the sea, it is blue and the sky is blue too, if you look up in the sky where there are no clouds you just feel happy and warm and say, wow the sky is clear. Blue is the loveliest colour for the baby boys.
Green
It is the source of life, everything we eat that comes from the soil is green. Green is a natural colour.
Orange
I remember when I was 10 years old my grandmother bought me a 2 piece dress for Christmas it was a skirt and a shirt. I like orange because it reminds me of the good memories of having a grandmother, she used to tell us stories some of them were nice some were too scary but we enjoyed them. I real miss her a lot and sometimes I feel like crying when I’m thinking of my lovely grandmother.
Lime
It reminds me of my friend who was knocked by a car on our way from school, we were doing grade 6 and she liked the colour lime. Every time she wore something lime she liked to ask us to guess what colour underwear she was wearing. Then when we guessed many colours that are not the same as hers, she used to say “oh my friend I’m wearing my favourite colour which is lime and she pulled her uniform up so that we can see, so we laughed and enjoyed that.

Nomasonto, you have painted some vivid ‘word-pictures’ for us. Thank you!

Isn’t it fascinating how beans can be a wonderful metaphor for Growth?

If you’d like more information on our Communication Skills course (twelve sessions) or any other training or coaching that we offer, please contact Brenda Eckstein on +27 82 4993311 or brenda@146.66.90.172

125: Individual Growth, Part 1

August 11, 2013 by Brenda Leave a Comment

My symbol for Growth is a dried red kidney bean. At most of our longer training courses, in Session 4, each participant is given five red kidney beans as part of their assignment for the next week. Their instruction is that they should reflect on what these beans may symbolise in the personal development. They are required to incorporate these in a prop for their presentation at the next session.

At first the young engineers look at me in amazement. What can you do with five kidney beans? The two most obvious uses for the beans are planting or eating. However, if you plant them in the garden, you won’t be able to bring them back to the next session. If you eat them, there is no useful evidence.

Reflection, creativity and a bit of work enables them to come to the next session with life-changing messages. Sometimes they are sung, danced, presented as a poem or in other exciting ways. From the current ‘Communication Skills’ training, course running over a twelve-week period, I have chosen the outlines of three of the presentations as examples of what can be done.

Mark Sibiya (Mechanical), Nondumiso Hlongwane (Industrial), Sanjeev Sing (Mechanical).

Nhlakanipho Mark Sibiya - 5 Beans Memories

I couldn’t think of anything very interesting about my beans. I spent the whole week thinking of what I can come up with, than over the weekend during a church service the Pastor mentioned something about never forgetting where you come from. Every pain you go through is not to kill you but to make you stronger.

The first bean made me think of the first day I was born, my uncle who sadly passed away told me that the day I was born I actually opened my eyes earlier than a newly born should. So he named me Nhlakanipho which means Clever in English terms.

The second and third bean I put them in pairs because to me it reminds me of our 2nd year birthday with a very close friend of mine who also sadly passed away 5 years ago. I put those in pairs because Promise and I started schooling together and we got along very well even our parents were friends.

The fourth bean makes me think of my fourth year at University, this year was a very difficult year for me because in that year I was very emotional because my mother actually got very sick and with all the exam stress to add up to all of that I just couldn’t handle anything coming my way but with the grace of the lord we made it.

The fifth one recalls my mum’s birthday which is on the 5^th of February. This day after my mother had recovered we actually made her day very special to show her how much we really appreciate her in our life’s and for being very strong and fighting for her life just for us.

So to me these five beans mean a lot as they have revealed some important parts of my life of which made me what I am today, a strong young man who prays.

Thank you, Mark for sharing part of yourself with us. Your message is powerful.

Next we have Nondumiso’s contribution:

Nondumiso Hlongwane - Productive negation of beans (seed)

For seed of bean to be reproduced, it has to undergo a process of negation. A bean kept in the kitchen chest drawer cannot reproduce more beans.

Two beans out of five were thrown on the lawn, and three were kept comfortably in a chest drawer. Amongst two, one got on to an infertile place then died and one luckily fell unto fertile conditions allowing it to develop and grew.

Amongst three from the chest drawer, by chance one fell out and ultimately got swept out to a fertile lawn and developed into a plant. The two kept special bean in the chest drawer got rot for good. They rot because they were protected from the sun, storms and winds.

A husband and wife were staying together with five children, while all of them were biological kids of the husband. Mother had only three and she used to spoil them throughout their childhood, she never gave tasks. All domestic work was done by the other two; the two were sent to execute difficult tasks sometimes in the rain and all other sort of discriminations. One of them gave up and the one had a strong perseverance, until she became successful in life.

Among the three kids who used to be kept incubated by their mother, the two enjoyed the comfort zone where else one did not enjoy that relaxation zone and chose to sympathize and join those whom were discriminated. She also became successful too.

In conclusion, if person experiences adverse conditions and if he is a life-long learner, she stands to become successful. And another lesson that you get from this story is that even if you live under luxurious material conditions learning can help you to live a long successful life.

Nondumiso, your approach was novel and inspiring. We appreciated the way you interpreted the lessons from the beans.

Sanjeev Sing - Five Beans Assignment

When I was given the task to do something creative with my five beans, I had no clue where to start. As the week went on, I realized that I am generally a very organized person and everything I do must have a flowing nature. I had thought about my life and what I want to achieve in my life and what better way to depict this than with beans. I just thought that sometimes thinking about what you want to achieve can be stressful as it isn’t an easy road. Representing these goals with simple beans made me realize I can achieve one goal at a time and gives me a structure to follow without the stress.

In my bean collage, the first depiction is of me graduating at the end of the year. After my graduation I would like to invest in buying my own home. The next step for me is to buy my German engineered sports car which is shown in the collage. When I have gained enough experience in industry I would like to start up my own business, which is represented by the bean behind the desk. When I have reached the stage in my life where I have achieved all my previously mentioned goals, all that is left for me to achieve is my dream of learning how to fly an aero plane.

If something as simple as beans can achieve all this, then so can I.

Sanjeev’s visual presentation.

Sanjeev’s visual presentation was unique. He showed his five major goals and each one had a bean as the person’s head! Well done, Sanjeev.

So, what could you do with five dried beans? How could they represent your goals or lessons learnt? By being forced to be creative, we often surprise even ourselves with the insights that emerge. Try it, it works!

In the article following this one, three more examples of Individual Growth are shared. These are from a different group. Beans certainly are inspiring, aren’t they?

For more information on the 12-week ‘Communication Skills’ course or any of our other training programmes, please contact Brenda Eckstein on +27 82 4993311 or brenda@146.66.90.172

Growth and Personal Strategy

November 1, 2012 by Brenda Leave a Comment

‘Growth’ is an important theme in our exciting new 6-week ‘EYES’ (Enhance Your Executive Skills) course which combines individual spontaneous ‘Executive Coaching’ sessions with personal strategy facilitation and group training. The purpose of this unique course is to ‘kickstart’ participants’ performance so that they can begin 2013 on a high note. In the first three sessions the themes were Fun, Leadership, And (continuous improvement) and in the fourth session on November 1 2012 we encompass Growth.

We need to see our business and private lives in context. Unless we fully appreciate our current status, how can we set goals or move forward to a new specific location? Participants have insightfully clarified their ‘touchstones’ and values and are currently projecting ‘resources’ to the desired levels for the end of 2013. This week each will establish vision and set relevant, appropriate and achievable goals and tactics. Crucial to this process is clarity on personal ‘critical success factors’.

Let’s have a look at these. In order to successfully achieve their ‘vision’ for the end of 2013, it is critical that they are covering the basic FLAG principles:

F: Maximising Energy (and having Fun!)
L: Leading and being forward-focussed – self and teams
A: Continuously improving - ‘an attitude of positive discontent’
G: Growing (knowledge, skills, competencies)

In addition the following are also essential in achieving personal success:

Spirituality and enriching ourselves emotionally
Addressing the needs of those whom we serve
Being agile and yet ‘grounded’ (mentally and physically)
Networking through positive relationships and ‘connections’
Communicating effectively – finding my ‘voice’
Integrating

Let’s consider each of these headings and the questions that participants should be asking themselves. This is not a comprehensive list, but rather a starting point. Please add your own additional questions:

Critical questions

1. F: Maximising energy (and having Fun!)

Energy is renewable. How am I managing my energy?
In what ways am I building energy through conscious attention to quality sleep and rest, fresh air, foods, liquids, cardiovascular and strength exercises?
In which ways am I honouring my body?
How am I tapping into ‘the wisdom of my body’?

2. L: Leading and being forward-focussed – self and teams

How clear are my vision, goals and tactics?
What am I doing to ensure that my behaviour is ‘forward focused’ on goal-directed behaviour?
How clearly and timeously am I communicating my vision, goals and tactics to my teams (work and home)?
How am I recognising and motivating those in my work and home teams?
What am I doing to empower others so that they can reach potential?
What am I doing to reward or ‘shine up’ myself?

3. A: Continuously improving - ‘an attitude of positive discontent’

How am I honouring my ‘authentic self’ in promoting my ‘personal brand’?
How am I continuously improving the way I operate in all domains of my life?
Pegged against my current status and the status of those impacting on me, how am I ensuring that I continuously use my tactics to move towards my goals and vision?
What routines have I instituted to regularly check that every aspect of my life is ‘the best it can be’? (In other words, how am I practising ‘an attitude of positive discontent’?)

4. G: Growing (knowledge, skills, competencies)

What am I doing to ‘create space’ so that I can grow?
What am I doing to establish new ‘pathways’, learn new things (neuroplasticity)?
How am I going to add value to my current qualifications?

5. Spirituality and enriching ourselves emotionally

How connected do I feel to the universe?
What practices do I engage in?
How am I maximising the incorporation of my ‘touchstones’ into my daily life?
How am I caring for my emotional needs?
What have I done to ensure that ‘reach out’ is a default and that I ‘shine up’ others?
How is ‘being kind to myself’ incorporated in my self-leadership?

6. Addressing the needs of those whom we serve

Who are the people I serve? How clearly have I identified them?
What business, community and private roles do I play?
Who are those people or entities who have power over me?
What am I doing to minimise the impact of those who are toxic to me?
How am I consciously assessing and meeting the needs of those whom I serve (where appropriate)?
What am I doing to be of greater service to those whom I serve?

7. Being agile and yet ‘grounded’ (mentally and physically)

How agile am I? How effectively can I recognise and optimise opportunities?
What am I doing to improve my agility?
What can I do to improve the speed at which I move towards positive opportunities and away from negative influences?
What grounding practices do I regularly engage in?

8. Networking through positive relationships and ‘connections’

How consistently am I genuinely adopting an attitude of ‘what can I do for you’?
How do I go about building and sustaining positive relationships in all aspects of my life?
How am I ‘harnessing the power of collective networking’?
What is my strategy for taking my networking to a higher level?
What am I doing to build and sustain positive relationships?
What does the term ‘federated’ mean to me and how am I incorporating?

9. Communicating effectively – finding my ‘voice’

What am I doing to constantly ensure that I communicate effectively and at the right time?
How am I making sure that my messages have been understood in the way in which I intended them?
How constructively do I deal with feedback (given or received)?
How am I using my voice?

10. Integrating

How am I integrating all aspects of my life?
What should I be doing to find greater balance over all areas of my life?

Reflect carefully on these questions. What other questions should you be asking?

Record your answers and use constructively in setting your plans for the future. Build in tactics that will support your intentions and help you to be the success that you deserve to be.

If you’d like further information on the training we offer, personal strategy, leadership development or executive coaching, please contact me - brenda@146.66.90.172, Phone: +27 33 3425432, Mobile: + 27 82 4993311.

Expanding the ‘Cornerstone’ concept

June 11, 2012 by Brenda Leave a Comment

My personal ‘balance’ philosophy is captured in the acronym FLAG. And I know this can mean many different things to different people! I use FLAG to show that there needs to be a combination of Fun, Leadership And Growth in all our endeavours. In my workshops these four elements form the cornerstones providing the framework within which balance and achievement are possible. And in our business and daily lives this applies, too. Thus ‘balance’ forms an integral part of my work as an ‘executive coach’, too.

The template used in BEI workshops and ‘executive’ coaching.

In two separate recent ‘leadership development’ and ‘communication skills’ courses, during one of the twelve four-hour sessions, the participants, working in groups, answered the question, ‘Why is it important to incorporate Fun, Leadership, And (continuous improvement), Growth in order to achieve balance?. The consolidated input from these two groups was as follows:

Fun

Fun energises.
Positive energy and a positive mental attitude go together.
Surrounding ourselves with positive people helps us to stay positive, feel good and be happy.
Fun brings humour and laughter and this binds people together.
This attracts more people who have common interests.
Fun helps to get things done because people are more motivated.
The working environment is more enjoyable for everyone.
This builds staff morale and helps to make this the ‘firm of choice’. Staff retention improves.
Having fun encourages us to attempt things we may have tried as children and ‘put on the back burner’. Having support helps, too.
Fun helps us to look for the lighter side and make the best of every situation.
‘Fun’ needn’t be huge. Make the little things count in a suitable manner. Celebrate every step to success.
By having fun and being positive we can ‘aim for the highest’ in everything we do. Thus fun can help to lift our standards.
Laughter with friends increases our endorphins, the brain’s ‘feel good’ chemicals.

Fun enhances opportunities to develop strong Leadership and strong teams that continuously improve (A). This leads to Growth of the Leader, team-members and individuals. Thus this element impacts on the other three ‘cornerstones’.

Leadership

Leadership, whether we are leading others or practising ‘self-leadership’ is necessary for setting our vision.
We serve those whom we lead and we need to ‘lead with’ those whom we are serving.
Strong leadership enhances team performance.
Leadership provides emotional support and maintains strength within the team
It is important to celebrate the individual successes of those whom we are leading. Give credit for achievements.
We need to keep the group energised to achieve the vision and goals we set for them.
The whole concept of ‘Ubuntu’ is important. The interdependence of people means that by improving Leadership for one person there is a ripple effect on all other role-players.
As a leader it is important to know our team’s potential and thus recognise and optimise appropriate opportunities.
Leaders need to ‘pause’ and reflect in order to optimise performance.

Strong Leadership enables clearer and more meaningful visions to be set. The approach of leaders needs to be that of ‘continuous improvement’ (A) of self, the team and individuals. The Fun element energises and aids progress. Again, the interrelationship of the three facilitates the fourth, Growth.

And

‘And’ implies ‘something extra’ and we use this to denote ‘continuous improvement’.

Reflect on what needs to be improved and take appropriate action.
Stay part of the process, avoid distance.
Flexibility is important in continuously improving. Adapt to situations.
Complacency causes stagnation and we should guard against that.
Continuous improvement of ourselves involves competition with our past performance and possibly with other people. However collaboration plays a key role.
In order to continuously improve in all areas of our lives, develop awareness. We need to use our senses more and reflect.
It is important to constantly ask ourselves the ‘six wives and a husband’ questions – who, how, when, where, why, what, which? An ‘attitude of positive discontent’ helps us to find ways of continuously improving.
‘Go the extra mile’ in everything we do.
We need to be continuously improving ways that enhances our ‘authentic selves’ rather than fitting the moulds that others build for us. In other words, ‘live for yourself and not to satisfy others expectations’

Continuous improvement (A) of product, service and the way we operate enhances our performance in all areas of our lives. This impacts on our Leadership, our ability to build, sustain and spend our energy in a meaningful way (here the F is very important) and leads to Growth. So, all four elements have impact.

Growth

Concentrating on growth will help us to become the ‘person of choice’, ‘team of choice’, ‘organisation of choice’ etc.
Growth means identifying the ‘gaps’ and working on ways of closing them.
We need to communicate better in order grow as individuals, teams or organisations.
Building strong relationships provides ‘sound bases’ on which to grow further.
We need to simultaneously work towards the ‘vision’ and concentrate on our ‘tactics’, the steps necessary to get there.
Building the future and maintaining the present are important for real growth to occur. For example, if we have no vision, we’ll stay where we are. (No growth). However, if we don’t ‘maintain the present’ everything will collapse and we won’t ever reach our future vision!
In order to see how much we have grown, we need to stop, reflect and look back on the starting point and distance travelled.

Growth is an outcome of continuous improvement (And). But we need direction and Leadership to co-ordinate our efforts and make our ‘continuous improvement’ part of our journey. It can’t be ‘granular’. Without Fun this would all become a tiresome, heavy exercise and there would be little enjoyment and little motivation to continue the journey. So, Fun is an essential ingredient in our cohesive approach to balance – in whatever we do.

What are you doing to gain more ‘balance’ in your life? In a previous post entitled ‘FLAG cornerstones’ on October 26 2011, I provided a brief questionnaire from my first book, ‘Networking tactics’. These FLAG principles can easily be incorporated in leadership or self-development programmes. If you would like more information on our training courses or ‘executive coaching’, you are welcome to contact me - brenda@146.66.90.172, Phone: +27 33 3425432, Mobile: + 27 82 4993311.

FLAG Cornerstones

October 26, 2011 by Brenda Leave a Comment

The cornerstones form part of the structure of your Personal Networking Plan in ‘Networking Tactics’. But we also use them for other strategy plans like, ‘Customer Service’, ‘Personal Strategy’ etc.

The four cornerstones are:

Cornerstone 1 – Fun

What ‘fun activities’ do I really enjoy?
How can I incorporate more fun into my work and personal life?
Who can help me generate more laughter?
How can I energise myself and my team through celebrations?

Cornerstone 2 – Leadership

Am I ‘serving’ those whom I ‘lead’? Am I ‘customer driven’?
What am I doing to improve ‘self-leadership’?
How am I motivating my teams (or groups – for example, family) to achieve a vision?
What can I do to improve my leadership skills?
Am I helping individuals in my ‘teams’ to reach potential?

Cornerstone 3 – And – Continuous Improvement

In my work situation, what am I doing to constantly upgrade my skills?
How am I constantly ensuring that my product, service and the way I operate are all the best they can be?
What is my personal competitive advantage? And how do I maintain it?
How am I constantly trying to improve the various facets of my product, service and the way I operate?
Am I ‘fast and flexible’? Can I recognise and optimise opportunities?

Cornerstone 4 – Growth

How are fun, leadership and continuous improvement helping me to grow?
What am I doing to ensure that I’m using all resources available to me, to maximum advantage?
What am I doing to grow personally?
Who are those people who’ve helped me reach potential in my business capacity? Have I said ‘thank you’ to them?
Which authors have helped me to grow from a business and personal perspective?