Brenda Eckstein International

Strategy, Leadership, Integral Coaching and Communication consulting

How do I deal with imperfection?

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Fear of being imperfect sometimes holds us back from taking action. Many of us need to learn that we don’t always have to be perfect …. achieving excellence is okay!

In these volatile, uncertain, complex and ambiguous (VUCA) times we often don’t have time to collect all the information before making a decision. And that applies regardless of the magnitude of the decision. Expressing the sentiments of Robert E Quinn, as leaders, we need to build the bridge as we walk on it. And this impacts on our leadership of self and others. Right now, we need a different kind of leadership as we cope with the ongoing effects socially, economically, medically and mentally of the stress we are enduring as a result of the Covid 19 pandemic.

We now more regularly have to intuitively make snap decisions and act on them. This takes courage. Thus, we feel as though are taking risks while we traverse unknown territory. There is more chance that things will go wrong and the chances of making mistakes are higher. But we need to take these risks and learn to deal with the consequences.

Outcomes could be different from what we expected. However, perhaps we should then put the pieces together innovatively to create a new whole?

To catch a glimpse of my thinking on this topic, please have a look at the BEI website. Or you may wish to go directly to ‘How do I deal with imperfection’ on YouTube and view the latest there.

For more information on executive coaching, leadership development or training, you are welcome to visit our website – www.strategy-leadership.com or contact brenda@strategy-leadership.com

Finding freedom

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While we are locked-down and our external worlds are volatile, uncertain, complex and ambiguous (VUCA) are we going to helplessly allow our inner worlds to wither? Or will we consciously enable buds to freely unfold in the sunshine of our souls? Being ‘in the moment’ can help us to tune in to our natural potential.

There are countless examples of how imprisonment can bring forth growth. Caterpillars, at first free to roam branches in the light or shade, become trapped in cocoons. Later they emerge as butterflies. This happens not only in nature. Anderson and Mathur-Helm in their article ‘Mandela: The art of the authentic leader | London Business School’, emphasise how Mandela, when incarcerated, was stripped of his outer trappings of leadership. As his physical world grew smaller, his inner world expanded. He found a new kind of freedom.

This golden thread runs through other writings where people have become confined. Patterns can be seen. Thoreau, in his diary writing of April 13 1852 wrote that ‘the imprisoning storm condenses our thoughts’ and that his life was enriched though the experience.

Looking back, this aligns to my entry on Day 1 ‘Diary Writing: a short course’ presented by Finuala Dowling in which I’m currently engaged. I ponder how, during this time of lock-down there seems to be more clarity. We have been forced to get off the treadmill of our ‘normal’ lives and become more resourceful. I find it easier to articulate and make explicit the tumultuous sea of thoughts which sometimes seem overwhelming.

In my diary entry I refer to an example involving a simple daily exercise where I view the beauty of the rising sun from my bedroom window each morning. I have been able to do this for many years whenever I’m home. During this pandemic, stripped of my freedom to travel for pleasure or on business, I’m always home and able to enjoy this changing view each day. In capturing the moment, I stop and take a photo with my cell-phone. I do this purposefully in order to create a pause in my life. Within the crucible of the gigantic suspension imposed by lockdown, our smaller pauses provide significant structure and need to continue – but perhaps differently to the way we conducted them prior to our current global disaster?

‘Day 1: Saturday July 4 2020
I love the view from my bedroom window. It puts me in touch with my soul. Each morning I rush to the window, hoping it isn’t too late to experience the pink light of dawn. I pause and capture the moment through the camera on my cell- phone.

6:52 am

It is a point in time that will never return. Moments later the light will be different, the colour of the sky more or less pink. The clouds might have changed shape and the mist over the city lifted.

6:57 am

Now time is more abundant. I was suddenly inspired to experiment and try the zoom lens on my cell-phone camera. I had always recoiled in horror at friends who, without heeding quality, zoomed in to far distant scenes, creating less distance between themselves and their point of view. And why would you want to reduce the quality, not only of the whole experience, but also of the outcome, a photo which captured that moment and had permanence? To me, it had seemed acceptable to do this with a good camera but not with a cell-phone. I had underestimated the quality of the camera on my own cell-phone!

Last week, I consciously relaxed my previous prejudice and zoomed in to a distant tree, stark in winter. I was overcome by the beauty of the tree contrasting with the softness of the dawn pink sky as a backdrop. The tree might not have its leaves, but it was alive not only within its skeletal being, but was also given life through the birds thronging in the upper branches, celebrating the new morning.

Another distinction arose that night. I feel asleep early and woke again at 10:20pm. Ethereal light came through the crack in our blinds. I was intrigued and quietly went to the window. The sky was bright, reflecting the full moon. Yet, in the distance I could see the outlines of dark trees, among them, the stark tree I now zoom in to most mornings. Why had I never thought of viewing the night world through my camera? Had I thought that nothing could be seen just because the sun had gone to sleep? No. One of my blind spots had prevented me from considering this option.

I silently absorbed the new beauty before me. I looked at the scene through my cell-phone and felt a sense of gratitude that, even late at night, I could see outlines of trees and the tiny sparkling lights of the city in the far distance. Bravely I zoomed in and saw a beautiful sight. Being out of focus makes the picture even more meaningful!

22:18 pm

My appreciation of the beauty of these new experiences transcends my sadness over my past stuckness in not realising that I can view the moment through so many more different lenses. As an executive coach, I feel like a fraud. I help people to access and use new pathways that will assist them in feeling that they are flourishing. Reflection and journaling are essential. Yet, I have so much to learn. Life is that teacher.

Restrictions such as those we are experiencing during the current pandemic can help us to become more resourceful. I now have a new treasure chest filled with opportunities for me. I am flourishing even under very difficult circumstances. I have found a new freedom’

I was able, in that diary entry to express how I am more mindful now. I have time to un-bias some of my unconscious prejudices and try new ways of using the diminished resources that I do have. I have found a new freedom…freedom from being trapped in past perceptions and practices. Captivity has provided a new lens.

What general lessons can we learn? How might our current sentence provide the freedom to explore our former stuckness and complacency? In which ways may ongoing confinement enhance our ‘way of being’? Our lives have changed and we need to reflect, recognise, explore and optimise new opportunities.

Questions for reflection

  • What does freedom mean to you?
  • How has your inner world changed over the last few months?
  • Which new practices have you introduced?
  • How has the current pandemic enabled you to use resources, including time, differently?
  • Which new opportunities can you use to your advantage?
  • Who can help you to view life through a range of different lenses?
  • When the pandemic ends and you have the freedom to return to your previous ‘way of being’, in which ways might that be different to your previous ‘normal’?

For more information on executive coaching, leadership development or training, you are welcome to visit our website – www.strategy-leadership.com or contact brenda@strategy-leadership.com

How to streamline your life

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Many of us are burdened, both in our work and private lives, by the excess baggage that we carry around with us. But our blind spots may cause us to be oblivious to the physical and emotional excesses that have become part of us. There are ways of streamlining our lives through regularly reviewing our personal resources, services and the way we operate. And we need to be motivated to take the necessary action on our findings.

One of my favourite stories relating to this topic is told by Mark Eppler in ‘Management Mess-ups: 57 pitfalls you can avoid (and stories of those who didn’t)’. He describes Mess-up No 19 as ‘failure to ‘scrape the barnacles’ by conducting frequent self-appraisals and making the needed adjustments.’ How often do we fall into this trap?

Early one morning the author was walking along the beach in Ireland. In the distance he saw the fisherman on the beach rubbing their up-side down boats. He was concerned as the weather was good and they should have been out fishing. Feeling curious, he went over and spoke to them and was told that they were ‘scraping away the barnacles’. It still didn’t make sense as to him it seemed that they were wasting a day when they could have been out fishing and thus making money.

They explained that barnacles, those tiny little mollusks that attach themselves to rocks, wood and anything else under seawater, although starting off very small, would grow over time making the fishermen’s boats heavier and heavier. They estimated that this could cost them up to 40% extra in fuel and make the boats far less maneuverable.

Isn’t that a great metaphor for what happens in our lives? Things creep up on us. We become complacent. Whether emotionally or physically we use more resources, more energy in order to achieve our goals. We are less agile and thus less able to quickly and easily respond to change in the form of pivoting. Being able to recognise opportunities and optimise by taking immediate action is important in our lives, particularly during this current pandemic.

When mentoring clients or training groups, I often encourage them to ‘develop an attitude of positive discontent’. This concept often emerges in my role as an executive coach, too. What do we mean by that phrase? And how do we go about determining whether aspects of our business or private lives are the best that they can be?

I recommend scheduling a day every 3 or 6 months when you carefully scrutinise all your resources, your product, your service, the way you operate. In fact, you need to look at every aspect of your personal and or business life and check that each is serving you well. Cut down on excesses. Find new ways of improving productivity and enhancing your ‘way of being’. For each element, if it is the best it can be, then there is no need to take action now. However, at the next audit, you need to consider it again. If it isn’t (the best it can be), put this in your action plan with definite steps in order to implement and sustain the desired improvement.

Take action! By using less fuel we will be making better use of our resources, have more energy and there will be less wastage. We will be more agile so that we can recognise and optimise opportunities. Our productivity and way of being will be enhanced and we are more likely to have a sense of flourishing.

The video version of this story, How to streamline your life may be seen on our website.

For more information on executive coaching, leadership development or training, you are welcome to visit our website – www.strategy-leadership.com or contact brenda@strategy-leadership.com

How to stop procrastinating

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During the current pandemic many of us have to make tough decisions in our business and private lives. This is even more difficult than usual because of the volatility, uncertainty, complexity and ambiguity of everyday life. We can’t wait to accumulate all the information we need in order to make rational decisions. We procrastinate and our stress levels increase.

I often find that my clients are experiencing a tug-of-war between their heads and their hearts. An example might be that a client knows in order for his business to survive during these turbulent times, he needs to retrench a third of his staff. However, he can’t bring himself to do that as he feels so sorry for the people who have been loyal to him for many years. He becomes more and more stressed and takes no action.

Although my approach may seem somewhat unusual from a coaching perspective, I find the following exercise has great outcomes for many clients. As a result they find it easier to make decisions and stop procrastinating.

Sometimes this entire exercise is completed in one coaching session. In other cases it may extend to an assignment which we craft together. I start by using coaching questions to assist the client to have more clarity on the issue they are facing. Then there are three steps in this exercise which helps them to convert a sea of implicit information into explicit action which they choose to take.

Step 1
I make sure they have 3 pieces of paper roughly A4 size and a pen in front of them. I then invite them, regarding the identified issue, to write themselves a letter from their heads. In other words, if we were to call our client Ben, the letter would start:

‘Dear Ben,
This is your Head speaking. You know that turnover is down and that you have to reduce fixed costs in order to sustain your business. I believe you need to immediately initiate the retrenchment of one third of your staff.’

Head would then add rational reasons for having to do this and provide advice. The letter may conclude with an appeal for action similar to the first paragraph of the letter.

The ending would be:

‘Kind regards,

Your Head.’

Step 2
I then ask the client to please put that letter aside and on the next piece of paper write another letter, this time from his Heart. In our current example, it would begin with:

‘Dear Ben,
I know this is a very difficult time for you as you are really battling to cope with the stress resulting from enormous changes in your business and private life. Right now you are feeling very vulnerable and responsible for your staff. However, you need to make decisions and take action. Here is what I suggest…’

And a few paragraphs may follow.

The letter would end with an appeal for action from an emotional perspective and may conclude:

‘I’m thinking of you and wish you strength as you take the next step.

Warm wishes,

Your Heart.’

Step 3
The final step would be inviting the client to put the second letter aside and write the third letter. This time the letter would be from Ben’s gut. (Some clients prefer hands as a symbol for action, rather than gut). The letter would start:

‘Dear Ben,
This is your Gut speaking. You have heard the evidence from your Head. The facts are clear. Your Heart has appealed to your emotional side and based on these two views, it is now time to take action.

I suggest that you do the following …….’

By the time the client gets to this point, he usually knows exactly what he needs to do and how to go about taking action. Gut’s letter would end with:

‘Yours in action,

Your Gut’

Exploring the conflict between head and heart through this approach can help you resolve the conflict and make the right decisions. Take action! Stop procrastinating. Turn your stumbling blocks into stepping stones.

Video link: How to stop procrastinating

For more information on Executive Coaching and leadership development, you are welcome to visit www.strategy-leadership.com or send me an e-mail to brenda@strategy-leadership.com

Brokenness: picking up the pieces

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A sense of brokenness currently pervades many aspects of our lives. Most countries in the world are at war with one common enemy, a tiny invisible virus. We feel as though we are all under siege. Old systems are dysfunctional. Communities are constantly at high risk and suffering medically, economically, socially and in other ways. Our relationships have to be enacted at a social distance. And although you can hold virtual meetings, they are compartmentalised. Our movement is restricted. Internally we are battling, too, as we are managing our hugely altered present while trying to conceptualise a new reality.

The disruption in our daily lives has broken many habitual attitudes and behaviours. We can no longer be complacent and take for granted that we’ll always have employment, access to our family, friends, restaurant lunches, ease of getting an appointment with our doctors. For many, sadly, status has changed from ‘breadwinner’ to joining the ranks of ‘unemployed’. Some of us used to be entrenched in travelling the same route to work day after day. (That seems like a lifetime ago!) Many of us no longer go to work in the mornings. Our reliance on monthly income is broken and in many cases the sustainability of our businesses is at risk. Those are just a few examples showing that life is far from what we’d consider ‘perfect’ under normal circumstances.

At times like this we need to turn to messages of hope and we can find them in unexpected places. For example, Leonard Cohen, Canadian unorthodox and commanding poet, novelist, songwriter and guitarist who died in 2016 has been referred to as ‘the poet of brokenness’. His work explored, amongst other topics, religion, politics, isolation, depression, loss and romantic relationships. In Anthem, released in 1992, his powerful message is: ‘Forget your perfect offering. There is a crack, a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in’.

From a leadership perspective this message is particularly relevant to many of my clients who aim at perfection in all aspects of their lives. The old ways of operating are broken, no longer possible. So we all have to experiment and take risks with new ways of doing things and it is far more difficult to expect or reach perfection. My question might be: ‘what makes perfection so important?’ And clients usually concede that ‘it is okay to be excellent.’

According to Gus Silber, an award-winning South African journalist, author, scriptwriter, speechwriter and media trainer, ‘broken’ and ‘light’ are two words which recur most frequently in Cohen’s lyrics and poems. These two words are important to us right now. We are going through a period where many people are feeling broken and having to focus on immediate concerns. At a time like this, how do we see the light?

Let’s explore further. The Japanese concept of wabi sabi introduces another metaphor which helps us to deal with brokenness. When mending, instead of camouflaging the breaks, the Japanese practice of wabi sabi involves embellishing the joins in pottery with gold dust, incorporating the brokenness into the new creation. There is beauty in emphasising the cracks which add to the wholeness of the restored artifact.

I find that mosaicking murals also helps me to create new patterns and new meaning by combining broken objects. Each piece is pruned to the shape required in order to produce a pleasing cohesive whole. Carefully cut pieces of mirror help reflect light and add life. This reminds me how we need to be managing parts of our broken lives and businesses during the current difficult times while simultaneously creating our new realities. We have to believe that there is light at the end of the tunnel and direct our efforts in that direction in all streams of our lives.

In the heart stream people are facing many emotional challenges. We no longer have easy access to family and friends. We can’t spend ‘in person’ time in close physical proximity with staff and many of the people we love. If we are fortunate enough to see them, social distancing prevents us from giving them a hug. We can’t touch the lives of others in ways that we would like to in their time of need. For those of us who were accustomed to travelling great distances to be with our families, at present we cannot visit and see the evolving lives of our grandchildren or provide on-site support. Our emotional tone has changed. Many of us are grieving the loss of lives, freedom, livelihoods and our former ‘way of being’.

From the cognitive perspective, our ‘structure of interpretation’ or the way we see and make sense of the world is constantly changing. It is difficult to have coherent understanding. The world is volatile, uncertain, complex and ambiguous (VUCA). Yet, we need to be cognitively aware, try to discover our blind spots. Turning our stumbling blocks into stepping stones usually requires that we build new neural pathways. This may be hard to do alone. Coaching by an academically qualified coach with relevant experience can help.

The ‘head space’ also requires attention in our organisational, professional, business and private lives. Conditions are so uncertain and changing at such a rapid rate that most of us cannot keep up to date with what is happening globally, nationally nor at a local level. Even if we do know the current facts, we often don’t know how they apply to our work lives nor how to acquire relevant available resources. We also may not be competent in the new ways of operating. In our work lives it is helpful to know who to go to for advice and assistance in order to cope with brokenness and picking up the pieces.

Just as it is important to avoid stagnation and ‘take action’ in our business lives, let’s be sure that we are taking the best possible care of our personal physical wellbeing. Again, turning to the experts can motivate us to be more conscious of our nourishment from food, sleep patterns and physical exercise. For example some of us are no longer able to go to the gym. Our normal exercise routines have been broken. Others no longer walk kilometers on the way to work and there is a lessening of cardiovascular activity. We have to be motivated to find new positive routines which we can sustain.

The changes necessitated through the current global disaster can be considered as the ‘cracks’ referred to by Leonard Cohen. We need to remember his message: ‘Forget your perfect offering. There is a crack, a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in’. What are you doing to lessen your need for continuously achieving perfection? How are you viewing that light? This is a great time for visionaries and for innovation. What are you doing to enable yourself to recognise and optimise those opportunities?

To share some ideas on ‘picking up the pieces’ of our brokenness, I’m inviting speakers to en-Lighten us on tips for improving our work and personal lives for a better future. If you’d like an invitation to one of these complimentary Zoom sessions, please send me an e-mail: brenda@strategy-leadership.com

How can you use this disruptive time to turn your stumbling blocks into stepping stones for the future? From a coaching perspective, in this article I have touched on only the first three aspects of the 6 Streams coaching model where we consider the cognitive, emotional, somatic, relational, spiritual and integrating streams. I trust that this brief introduction may help you to ‘pick up the pieces’ as you travel from brokenness to a new ‘way of being’ and wholeness. May you manage the present with fortitude while you lead to the future.

For more information on Executive Coaching and leadership development please contact Brenda Eckstein on +27 82 4993311 or e-mail brenda@strategy-leadership.com. The website is www.strategy-leadership.com

Look through a new lens

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When life is as tough as it is now, we tend to immerse ourselves in our ‘current concerns’. We are confused and uncertain as to what is happening right now and often we concentrate on ‘maintaining the present’. We don’t know what might happen in the future and it is difficult to picture or lead ourselves to the future. But we can look back on history and see the reality of what others have gone through. That might deepen understanding of our current context.

Let me give you an example: During Leadership Development or Executive Coaching Programmes, I often invite my clients to do the VIA Strengths Test in order to identify their top five character strengths. During the coaching programme we then work attentively on those strengths to build stronger neural pathways relating to recognising and optimising behaviour around those top strengths.

I am delighted that one of my clients, Noel Thompson, Director of Global Support, Conosco was happy for me to mention his name and share his example. Thank you, Noel. While doing daily self-observations on ‘curiosity’, one of his top strengths, he became fascinated by the content of a Whatsapp he had received and explored further, researching the details and making changes where necessary. Here is his resulting article:

‘We are all wondering what the future will be like and how we will get through this COVID epidemic. But I think it's always good to put perspective into a situation. Someone sent me a message that inspired me to research all the points they raised and make my own variant of it.

John was born in the year 1900. On his 14th birthday World War I started and in that war it is estimated up to 19 million people died. In the year of John's 18th birthday the war ended but the Spanish Flu started. It's estimated to have killed up to 100 million people worldwide, ending in 1920.

In the year of John's 29th birthday the Great Depression started. On the 29th of October 1929 the stock market crashed and became known as Black Tuesday. Between 1929 and 1932, worldwide gross domestic product (GDP) fell by an estimated 15%. By comparison, worldwide GDP fell by less than 1% from 2008 to 2009 during the Great Recession.

In the year of John's 39th birthday World War II started. In this war it is estimated up to 85 million people died, which at the time was 3% of the population at an estimated 2.3 billion. The Holocaust resulted in the murder of an estimated 6 million Jews.

The same year that John turns 50 the Korean War started, with North Korea invading South Korea on the 25th of June 1950. It is estimated that up to 3 million people died during this war, with the majority being civilians. It is also estimated that this was the deadliest conflict of the Cold War. Five years later the Vietnam War started on the 1st of November 1955 and ended with the fall of Saigon on the 30th of April 1975, the same year John turned 75. During the same time, in the year of John's 62nd birthday was the Cuban Missile Crisis, which could very well have kicked off World War III.

So growing up as a kid in the 1980's I sure as hell did not understand the kind of life people like John went through. For me that is probably the ultimate perspective and I am very grateful that I personally did not have to live through any of these times and be involved in any such conflicts.

The world presents new challenges every day. At present, being locked down in varying degrees, waiting with uncertainty, we are in limbo knowing we have to leave behind much of our own the past ‘way of being’. In addition, perhaps we are not ready to create our new reality. We are in transition and life is tough.

Yet, looking back and gaining perspective can enable us to see our situation through a new lens. I encourage you to reflect, be curious and use perspective to your advantage.

Noel Thompson can be contacted on: +27 78 1273785 - noel@conosco.com

For more information on Leadership Development or Executive Coaching, please contact Brenda Eckstein on +27 82 4993311 or e-mail brenda@strategy-leadership.com. The website is www.strategy-leadership.com

Change your mindset

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This article includes stories about princes and kings, caterpillars, toy engines and logotherapy. These may seem a very strange combination. But please continue reading as these elements add depth to the meaning of our first tip mentioned in the previous article. There I outlined twelve tips for leading through lockdown. In this current article more detail is added to the first tip, ‘change your mindset’

The question we ask is: why is it that some of us in similar situations are coping better than others during various degrees of lockdown? There are a host of possible factors to be considered. For example, some of us may feel that our personal freedom has been violated and dwell on that aspect. Others may have an innate ability to manage the present while leading to the future. And which people do you recognise as being able to persist until they have struggled to get over the next hill? Or maybe having ‘future mindedness’ as one of our top five character strengths enables us to use that strength in managing the present while leading to the future? Our propensity for coping with change is also a huge factor.

These are some of the possibilities and questions we may wish to ponder as we travel through this tough and uncertain period in our lives. Many factors may underpin our ability to deal with the current situation and accept that life will never be the same as before the current pandemic. We have to re-create our future. During this time of transition, we can improve our ability to cope through consciously working on our mindsets. In other words, we have to turn our stumbling blocks into stepping stones. This reminds me of one of my favourite poems.

Isn't it Strange?

Isn't it strange, that princes and kings,
and clowns that caper in sawdust rings,
and common-folk like you and me,
are builders for eternity?

To each is given a bag of tools,
a shapeless mass and a Book of Rules;
and each must make 'ere time has flown,
a stumbling block or a stepping stone.

R.L. Sharpe, "A bag of tools," circa 1809

In the previous article I mentioned that a metaphor for our ‘way of being’ prior to the current disaster state could be the metaphor of us as caterpillars crawling around on branches. The caterpillar has freedom. It can bask in the sunlight or hide in the shade. He or she feasts on luscious green leaves. There is motion. However, when the time is right, that caterpillar finds itself trapped in a cocoon. Isn’t that just how some of us have felt at times during various stages of lockdown? We cannot move around, we have little freedom and we feel trapped.

In looking at the cocoon from the outside it seems as though nothing is happening. Only the cocoon is visible. Yet, inside that cocoon a great metamorphosis is taking place. These unseen activities enable the butterfly suddenly to emerge.

My question to you is: ‘What are you doing during lockdown to make sure that you’ll emerge as that butterfly’? How are you feeding your mind, nourishing your soul and developing your physical abilities? This is not a time of stagnation. You can make it a time of great growth. Your attitude is important in coping with the current situation and at the same time creating your future reality.

When I think of caterpillars I think of climbing trees during childhood. When I was young one of my favourite stories was ‘the Little Engine that could’. The most well-known version was written by Watty Piper and first published in 1930. This followed a variety of versions since 1902 all with the same theme, namely to believe in ourselves even when we are faced with huge challenges.

The story is simple: a train was taking carriages of toys and good things to the children over the hill. The engine broke down. Trains passed without offering to help. And then it wasn’t the most beautiful, nor the most powerful, nor the one adhering to the correct protocol that offered to help. It was a little engine that stopped and helped. She tried so hard to take the carriages over the hill to its destination saying ‘I think I can, I think I can….. I think I can’. She knew she could and achieved her goal. Thus there was a happy ending.

Another story involving mindset is the true example set by Viktor E Frankl. He was able to physically and mentally not only survive the horrors of the Holocaust, but inspire millions through his example. As a neurologist and psychiatrist he founded the Logotherapy School of psychology and a philosophy based on the idea that we are strongly motivated to live purposefully and meaningfully. He was the author of many books, including ‘Man’s Search for Meaning’ which was published in 24 languages.

‘When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves. Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms — to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.
Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.’

Viktor E Frankl

In conclusion, the princes and kings are confined (successfully) within the accepted framework of that poem and like all of us, have choices. The caterpillar, unseen and cocooned, appears to be stagnating but it is going through a natural metamorphosis. The broken-down train, stuck on the hill achieved its destination through the persistence of the most unlikely little engine. Viktor E Frankl was trapped within the horrors of 4 concentration camps yet managed to escape and constructively make the world a better place for himself and for others.

Are you stuck in your present mindset? We may feel trapped right now and know we have to leave behind much of what we took for granted prior to the current pandemic. But we need to think of this as a transition to a brave new world. Change your mindset, change your world. The right attitude counts a great deal. And you can seek help. There are so many of us offering complimentary assistance at present.

If you’d like to participate in a complimentary one-hour Zoom workshop based on the twelve random tips to help with our coping mechanisms, please send a request via e-mail to brenda@strategy-lealdership.com And I’ll then send you an invitation.

The next two one-hour complimentary workshops will be held on:
* Monday May 25: 5pm SAST
* Tuesday May 26: 8am SAST
The content of both these workshops will be the same.

For further information on Executive Coaching and Leadership Development please contact Brenda Eckstein on +27 82 4993311 or e-mail brenda@strategy-leadership.com. The website is www.strategy-leadership.com

Twelve lessons during lockdown

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There are certain conditions that we consider ideal in order for us to function effectively as leaders, whether we are talking of leading groups or self-leadership.

Leaders like:
• Stability …. and now we are in a state of extreme …. Volatility
• certainty .... what we are experiencing now is …. Uncertainty
• simplicity .... as opposed to our current state of …. Complexity
• clarity …. instead at present we face constant …. Ambiguity

Three worlds

  1. The above describes the external VUCA world we are living in and it is highly unlikely that we can control that. But there are 2 other worlds we should consider while trying to manage the present and at the same time, lead to the future:
  2. The world of work. Here we can have some control although we are still coping with VUCA conditions. For example, in South Africa, after 5 weeks of level 5 lockdown, in some cases 1/3 of the staff were allowed to return to work this week. We are having to make our work environments safe, catch up on the ‘lost’ weeks, reallocate functions and a myriad of other tasks to get going again. We are uncertain about so many aspects of the present and future.
  3. The third world can be described as man’s ‘inner man’. Here we have a great deal of control and through working on that during our tough times, we can enhance our ‘way of being’ and prepare ourselves better for the future.

    Let me give you some background: During this tough period, globally we have experienced various levels of lockdown. I’m fortunate that I have been able to continue coaching virtually and my clients have shared many coping and future planning strategies with me. From these and my own reflections each day I have drawn up a list of ‘Twelve Lessons in coping while restructuring our new reality’. These are just of few of the many possible tips. Below is an overview and each will be expanded upon in sequential articles.

1. Change your mindset. Think of this period as a transition. It may seem as though nothing is happening. We are physically in lockdown. But picture us, prior to the current tough times, being caterpillars free to crawl around on the branches, eat the green leaves and enjoy the fresh air. Then the caterpillar becomes trapped within the cocoon. (That sounds like ‘lockdown’ doesn’t it!) The larvae are not visible and we can see no activity. Yet a great deal is happening within. After a while the beautiful butterfly emerges. Let’s try to think of this, not as a time of being trapped or stagnation, but rather as a time of metamorphosis and personal growth.

2. Reflect. Reflect. Reflect so that you can convert the sea of implicit knowledge, thoughts, and experiences into something explicit. That way you can crystallise your thoughts, understand the meaning and implement and sustain your actions where it is prudent to do so. A stop/start approach is not most effective at this time although we need to do this to re-adjust to the volatility in the changing world around us.

3. Be in touch with your inner selves. Reflection will help us to do that. We need to consciously embrace mind, body and soul. Are we remembering to exercise and nourish all three domains? Mindfulness and meditation come in here. We can enhance our mental toughness, build our resilience.

4. Manage your physical energy through building, storing and spending wisely. Understand your own energy levels. Research shows that most of us have natural highs, lows and prime times. Plan to do what is most productive for each level during that time of your daily cycle.

5. Structure so that you have a daily routine optimising your energy. Too many pyjama days will most probably not help you to become more productive. Try to develop and test new frameworks. What worked for you yesterday may not be the best for today. Build time-frames – for example, supper at 6pm, computer off at 10pm, asleep by 10:30pm. Have boundaries.

6. Become the ‘go to’ person, a leader in your field and show that expertise. There is so much you can do in order to be the ‘person of choice’, ‘business of choice’, ‘professional of choice’, ‘organisation of choice’, ‘source of choice’ etc. Two people who have done this exceptionally well during these tough times are Gary Eckstein and Mario Redlinghuys and I commend them on establishing themselves further as leaders in their fields during these tough times. They have kept up to date with emerging trends and their clients have benefitted through regular ongoing communication including Zoom sessions.

7. Communicate often. Don’t let perfection get in your way. Don’t wait until your message is perfect. Let people know what is happening timeously. Keep in touch with your business and private connections. Sustain your visibility. Find innovative ways of reminding people of your existence. Practice new ways of ‘showing up’. Check that you are combining head, heart and action in your approaches.

8. Relationships are paramount. How often are you checking how individuals in your network are doing? Use the head-heart-action approach. How can you support others whether from a business or personal perspective? Reach out. There is some-one somewhere who could benefit through your support or your sharing. What are you good at? What might others need? Strengthen existing relationships, build new. Alliances are so important right now. What can you do together?

9. Maintain the best of the past while exploring and testing new approaches. Use the past-present-future approach and practice an attitude of positive discontent. In other words, be on your toes, don’t become complacent. Constantly evaluate saying ‘is this aspect the best it can be’? If the answer is ‘yes’, that applies to this point in time. Things are changing so fast that we need to constantly check to avoid complacency. Test continuous improvement in product, service and the way we operate.

10. Manage the present while leading to the future. A great metaphor is the captain of a submarine. He has to keep the engines running while plotting and changing course. A periscope enables him to explore the external environment, the big picture. What is happening ‘out there’? Have your antennae out.

11. Use your resources to maximum advantage. We have hidden assets. Recognise and optimise opportunities in using resources. For example, one of my clients mentioned how she was starting to plant vegetables in every suitable corner of her garden. I have done the same. Another example is that we can no longer go to gyms, but we can find creative ways of using resources at home.

12. Make use of the wonderful available offers to learn, grow and connect. My free offers are open to all readers but will be allocated on availability.

• This article is an outline to maximise opportunities for your present and future. Further articles will expand on each point.
• A complimentary one-hour Zoom workshop ‘Restructuring your own reality’ based on this article. These sessions are identical but there is a choice of two dates:
o Monday May 18 5pm (South African Standard Time)
o Tuesday May 19 8am (South African Standard Time)
To book, please send me an e-mail on brenda@strategy-leadership.com (NB – please use this form of communication)
• A free one-hour individual executive coaching sessions for each of the first five people to e-mail me at brenda@strategy-leadership.com (NB please e-mail – no other form of communication – and this offer is open to existing and past clients and others who have never been coached by me before)

In summary, I have provided a random selection of only twelve tips. This is not intended as a comprehensive list but as an outline. Further tips will be woven in to the articles that follow.

For more information on Executive Coaching, please contact Brenda Eckstein on +27 82 4993311 or e-mail brenda@strategy-leadership.com. The website is www.strategy-leadership.com

My positive contribution

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At present humanity is fighting a global war. In this unprecedented situation nations are collectively and individually fighting a common enemy.  In the midst of this catastrophic turmoil we see positive acts of collaboration, with countries trying to learn from others and work together for the common good.  And this is happening not only at mega-levels, but between communities and individuals, too.  There are wonderful examples of individuals helping each other in different ways.

HIV/Aids, cholera, bubonic plague, smallpox and influenza have been some of the most brutal killers. With the increased interconnectedness of people, physically moving from one geographic region to another for business or other reasons, Covid-19 has penetrated 189 territories at the time of writing. It seems that size doesn’t matter. This tiny organism has brought down not only one huge aeroplane, but fleets and whole airlines, economies, medical infrastructures and has changed our entire ‘way of being’.  Globally we are in this together.

For a long time we have been talking about the volatile, uncertain, complex and ambiguous (VUCA) worlds in which leaders function. This has escalated.  Complacency has given way to finding new ways of coping with this dreadful situation.  I find that my clients who are creative are coping better with the disruption and havoc surrounding us. 

Reflection is very important at a time like this. Reflecting on different ways of coping with change, I revisited Spencer Johnson’s ‘Who moved my cheese?’  There are powerful lessons for all of us.  We all have to adapt and do things differently.  We also have to recognise and optimise opportunities for working towards the common good.


 
One of my contributions is in creating Zoom forums in which we can share reflections and learnings, hold quality conversations and help each other feel less isolated.  Until this month I have invited 15 local clients to a presentation called ‘Ten Lessons’ where I shared what I had learnt during the last few months through my reflections using Kolb’s Experiential Learning Cycle. These one-hour mini-workshops included groupwork for discussion and sharing ideas.  As these were held at my home,  I can’t do that anymore. So I have upgraded Zoom and will be offering complimentary group sessions to small groups on a regular basis.  This is one of my contributions in working towards helping others to cope during these difficult times.

I’ll be holding sessions at times that suit different time zones.  If you would like to be invited to a session, please send me an e-mail  brenda@strategy-leadership.com expressing interest and letting me know which time zone you are in.

What you say matters

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The Oprah Winfrey TV show started on September 8 1986 and ran continuously for 25 years. In the final show Oprah said that over the 25 years, she had spoken to nearly 30,000 ‘hopefuls’ – in other words, people who wanted to be on her show.  Obviously, very few made it through the series of interviews culminating in their being chosen to appear on the show.

She said: "I've talked to nearly 30,000 people on this show, and all 30,000 had one thing in common: They all wanted validation. If I could reach through this television and sit on your sofa or sit on a stool in your kitchen right now, I would tell you that every single person you will ever meet shares that common desire. They want to know: 'Do you see me? Do you hear me? Does what I say mean anything to you?'


Oprah Winfrey

"Understanding that one principle, that everybody wants to be heard, has allowed me to hold the microphone for you all these years with the least amount of judgment…it's helped me to try to do that with an open mind and to do it with an open heart. It has worked for this platform, and I guarantee you it will work for yours. Try it with your children, your husband, your wife, your boss, your friends. Validate them. 'I see you. I hear you. And what you say matters to me.'"

This is a powerful lesson.  Can you imagine how much better the world would be if every man, woman and child felt that they had been seen, heard and that what they said mattered.  Isn’t that a huge lesson for each of us?  We have a role to play, even if we don’t agree with what the person is saying.

Let me share a specific example: Geoff lives this principle in an effective way. I used to smile when our grandchildren were young and came to him complaining about each other.  He would listen intently, and quietly say, ‘I have taken note of what you said’.  He gave them the impression that he had seen them, he had heard them and what they said mattered.  Usually that was the end of the conversation!  They felt validated and were satisfied.

Practice this principle and you will be helping to make the world a better place for everyone.

My questions for you are:

  • How powerfully do you feel the presence of others?
  • In which ways do you acknowledge a person’s presence, even if you aren’t able to attend to them immediately?
  • How open and non-judgemental do you appear?
  • What could you do to focus more intently on the person speaking?
  • What do you practice in order to minimise barriers to your being more receptive to what the person is saying?
  • How can you show the speaker that what they say matters – even if you don’t agree with what they are saying?

For more information on Executive Coaching, either ‘in person’ or via electronic means, please contact Brenda Eckstein, brenda@146.66.90.172 or phone +27 82 4993311,  www.strategy-leadership.com

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