Brenda Eckstein International

Strategy, Leadership, Integral Coaching and Communication consulting

Look through a new lens

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When life is as tough as it is now, we tend to immerse ourselves in our ‘current concerns’. We are confused and uncertain as to what is happening right now and often we concentrate on ‘maintaining the present’. We don’t know what might happen in the future and it is difficult to picture or lead ourselves to the future. But we can look back on history and see the reality of what others have gone through. That might deepen understanding of our current context.

Let me give you an example: During Leadership Development or Executive Coaching Programmes, I often invite my clients to do the VIA Strengths Test in order to identify their top five character strengths. During the coaching programme we then work attentively on those strengths to build stronger neural pathways relating to recognising and optimising behaviour around those top strengths.

I am delighted that one of my clients, Noel Thompson, Director of Global Support, Conosco was happy for me to mention his name and share his example. Thank you, Noel. While doing daily self-observations on ‘curiosity’, one of his top strengths, he became fascinated by the content of a Whatsapp he had received and explored further, researching the details and making changes where necessary. Here is his resulting article:

‘We are all wondering what the future will be like and how we will get through this COVID epidemic. But I think it's always good to put perspective into a situation. Someone sent me a message that inspired me to research all the points they raised and make my own variant of it.

John was born in the year 1900. On his 14th birthday World War I started and in that war it is estimated up to 19 million people died. In the year of John's 18th birthday the war ended but the Spanish Flu started. It's estimated to have killed up to 100 million people worldwide, ending in 1920.

In the year of John's 29th birthday the Great Depression started. On the 29th of October 1929 the stock market crashed and became known as Black Tuesday. Between 1929 and 1932, worldwide gross domestic product (GDP) fell by an estimated 15%. By comparison, worldwide GDP fell by less than 1% from 2008 to 2009 during the Great Recession.

In the year of John's 39th birthday World War II started. In this war it is estimated up to 85 million people died, which at the time was 3% of the population at an estimated 2.3 billion. The Holocaust resulted in the murder of an estimated 6 million Jews.

The same year that John turns 50 the Korean War started, with North Korea invading South Korea on the 25th of June 1950. It is estimated that up to 3 million people died during this war, with the majority being civilians. It is also estimated that this was the deadliest conflict of the Cold War. Five years later the Vietnam War started on the 1st of November 1955 and ended with the fall of Saigon on the 30th of April 1975, the same year John turned 75. During the same time, in the year of John's 62nd birthday was the Cuban Missile Crisis, which could very well have kicked off World War III.

So growing up as a kid in the 1980's I sure as hell did not understand the kind of life people like John went through. For me that is probably the ultimate perspective and I am very grateful that I personally did not have to live through any of these times and be involved in any such conflicts.

The world presents new challenges every day. At present, being locked down in varying degrees, waiting with uncertainty, we are in limbo knowing we have to leave behind much of our own the past ‘way of being’. In addition, perhaps we are not ready to create our new reality. We are in transition and life is tough.

Yet, looking back and gaining perspective can enable us to see our situation through a new lens. I encourage you to reflect, be curious and use perspective to your advantage.

Noel Thompson can be contacted on: +27 78 1273785 - noel@conosco.com

For more information on Leadership Development or Executive Coaching, please contact Brenda Eckstein on +27 82 4993311 or e-mail brenda@strategy-leadership.com. The website is www.strategy-leadership.com

Change your mindset

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This article includes stories about princes and kings, caterpillars, toy engines and logotherapy. These may seem a very strange combination. But please continue reading as these elements add depth to the meaning of our first tip mentioned in the previous article. There I outlined twelve tips for leading through lockdown. In this current article more detail is added to the first tip, ‘change your mindset’

The question we ask is: why is it that some of us in similar situations are coping better than others during various degrees of lockdown? There are a host of possible factors to be considered. For example, some of us may feel that our personal freedom has been violated and dwell on that aspect. Others may have an innate ability to manage the present while leading to the future. And which people do you recognise as being able to persist until they have struggled to get over the next hill? Or maybe having ‘future mindedness’ as one of our top five character strengths enables us to use that strength in managing the present while leading to the future? Our propensity for coping with change is also a huge factor.

These are some of the possibilities and questions we may wish to ponder as we travel through this tough and uncertain period in our lives. Many factors may underpin our ability to deal with the current situation and accept that life will never be the same as before the current pandemic. We have to re-create our future. During this time of transition, we can improve our ability to cope through consciously working on our mindsets. In other words, we have to turn our stumbling blocks into stepping stones. This reminds me of one of my favourite poems.

Isn't it Strange?

Isn't it strange, that princes and kings,
and clowns that caper in sawdust rings,
and common-folk like you and me,
are builders for eternity?

To each is given a bag of tools,
a shapeless mass and a Book of Rules;
and each must make 'ere time has flown,
a stumbling block or a stepping stone.

R.L. Sharpe, "A bag of tools," circa 1809

In the previous article I mentioned that a metaphor for our ‘way of being’ prior to the current disaster state could be the metaphor of us as caterpillars crawling around on branches. The caterpillar has freedom. It can bask in the sunlight or hide in the shade. He or she feasts on luscious green leaves. There is motion. However, when the time is right, that caterpillar finds itself trapped in a cocoon. Isn’t that just how some of us have felt at times during various stages of lockdown? We cannot move around, we have little freedom and we feel trapped.

In looking at the cocoon from the outside it seems as though nothing is happening. Only the cocoon is visible. Yet, inside that cocoon a great metamorphosis is taking place. These unseen activities enable the butterfly suddenly to emerge.

My question to you is: ‘What are you doing during lockdown to make sure that you’ll emerge as that butterfly’? How are you feeding your mind, nourishing your soul and developing your physical abilities? This is not a time of stagnation. You can make it a time of great growth. Your attitude is important in coping with the current situation and at the same time creating your future reality.

When I think of caterpillars I think of climbing trees during childhood. When I was young one of my favourite stories was ‘the Little Engine that could’. The most well-known version was written by Watty Piper and first published in 1930. This followed a variety of versions since 1902 all with the same theme, namely to believe in ourselves even when we are faced with huge challenges.

The story is simple: a train was taking carriages of toys and good things to the children over the hill. The engine broke down. Trains passed without offering to help. And then it wasn’t the most beautiful, nor the most powerful, nor the one adhering to the correct protocol that offered to help. It was a little engine that stopped and helped. She tried so hard to take the carriages over the hill to its destination saying ‘I think I can, I think I can….. I think I can’. She knew she could and achieved her goal. Thus there was a happy ending.

Another story involving mindset is the true example set by Viktor E Frankl. He was able to physically and mentally not only survive the horrors of the Holocaust, but inspire millions through his example. As a neurologist and psychiatrist he founded the Logotherapy School of psychology and a philosophy based on the idea that we are strongly motivated to live purposefully and meaningfully. He was the author of many books, including ‘Man’s Search for Meaning’ which was published in 24 languages.

‘When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves. Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms — to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.
Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.’

Viktor E Frankl

In conclusion, the princes and kings are confined (successfully) within the accepted framework of that poem and like all of us, have choices. The caterpillar, unseen and cocooned, appears to be stagnating but it is going through a natural metamorphosis. The broken-down train, stuck on the hill achieved its destination through the persistence of the most unlikely little engine. Viktor E Frankl was trapped within the horrors of 4 concentration camps yet managed to escape and constructively make the world a better place for himself and for others.

Are you stuck in your present mindset? We may feel trapped right now and know we have to leave behind much of what we took for granted prior to the current pandemic. But we need to think of this as a transition to a brave new world. Change your mindset, change your world. The right attitude counts a great deal. And you can seek help. There are so many of us offering complimentary assistance at present.

If you’d like to participate in a complimentary one-hour Zoom workshop based on the twelve random tips to help with our coping mechanisms, please send a request via e-mail to brenda@strategy-lealdership.com And I’ll then send you an invitation.

The next two one-hour complimentary workshops will be held on:
* Monday May 25: 5pm SAST
* Tuesday May 26: 8am SAST
The content of both these workshops will be the same.

For further information on Executive Coaching and Leadership Development please contact Brenda Eckstein on +27 82 4993311 or e-mail brenda@strategy-leadership.com. The website is www.strategy-leadership.com

Twelve lessons during lockdown

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There are certain conditions that we consider ideal in order for us to function effectively as leaders, whether we are talking of leading groups or self-leadership.

Leaders like:
• Stability …. and now we are in a state of extreme …. Volatility
• certainty .... what we are experiencing now is …. Uncertainty
• simplicity .... as opposed to our current state of …. Complexity
• clarity …. instead at present we face constant …. Ambiguity

Three worlds

  1. The above describes the external VUCA world we are living in and it is highly unlikely that we can control that. But there are 2 other worlds we should consider while trying to manage the present and at the same time, lead to the future:
  2. The world of work. Here we can have some control although we are still coping with VUCA conditions. For example, in South Africa, after 5 weeks of level 5 lockdown, in some cases 1/3 of the staff were allowed to return to work this week. We are having to make our work environments safe, catch up on the ‘lost’ weeks, reallocate functions and a myriad of other tasks to get going again. We are uncertain about so many aspects of the present and future.
  3. The third world can be described as man’s ‘inner man’. Here we have a great deal of control and through working on that during our tough times, we can enhance our ‘way of being’ and prepare ourselves better for the future.

    Let me give you some background: During this tough period, globally we have experienced various levels of lockdown. I’m fortunate that I have been able to continue coaching virtually and my clients have shared many coping and future planning strategies with me. From these and my own reflections each day I have drawn up a list of ‘Twelve Lessons in coping while restructuring our new reality’. These are just of few of the many possible tips. Below is an overview and each will be expanded upon in sequential articles.

1. Change your mindset. Think of this period as a transition. It may seem as though nothing is happening. We are physically in lockdown. But picture us, prior to the current tough times, being caterpillars free to crawl around on the branches, eat the green leaves and enjoy the fresh air. Then the caterpillar becomes trapped within the cocoon. (That sounds like ‘lockdown’ doesn’t it!) The larvae are not visible and we can see no activity. Yet a great deal is happening within. After a while the beautiful butterfly emerges. Let’s try to think of this, not as a time of being trapped or stagnation, but rather as a time of metamorphosis and personal growth.

2. Reflect. Reflect. Reflect so that you can convert the sea of implicit knowledge, thoughts, and experiences into something explicit. That way you can crystallise your thoughts, understand the meaning and implement and sustain your actions where it is prudent to do so. A stop/start approach is not most effective at this time although we need to do this to re-adjust to the volatility in the changing world around us.

3. Be in touch with your inner selves. Reflection will help us to do that. We need to consciously embrace mind, body and soul. Are we remembering to exercise and nourish all three domains? Mindfulness and meditation come in here. We can enhance our mental toughness, build our resilience.

4. Manage your physical energy through building, storing and spending wisely. Understand your own energy levels. Research shows that most of us have natural highs, lows and prime times. Plan to do what is most productive for each level during that time of your daily cycle.

5. Structure so that you have a daily routine optimising your energy. Too many pyjama days will most probably not help you to become more productive. Try to develop and test new frameworks. What worked for you yesterday may not be the best for today. Build time-frames – for example, supper at 6pm, computer off at 10pm, asleep by 10:30pm. Have boundaries.

6. Become the ‘go to’ person, a leader in your field and show that expertise. There is so much you can do in order to be the ‘person of choice’, ‘business of choice’, ‘professional of choice’, ‘organisation of choice’, ‘source of choice’ etc. Two people who have done this exceptionally well during these tough times are Gary Eckstein and Mario Redlinghuys and I commend them on establishing themselves further as leaders in their fields during these tough times. They have kept up to date with emerging trends and their clients have benefitted through regular ongoing communication including Zoom sessions.

7. Communicate often. Don’t let perfection get in your way. Don’t wait until your message is perfect. Let people know what is happening timeously. Keep in touch with your business and private connections. Sustain your visibility. Find innovative ways of reminding people of your existence. Practice new ways of ‘showing up’. Check that you are combining head, heart and action in your approaches.

8. Relationships are paramount. How often are you checking how individuals in your network are doing? Use the head-heart-action approach. How can you support others whether from a business or personal perspective? Reach out. There is some-one somewhere who could benefit through your support or your sharing. What are you good at? What might others need? Strengthen existing relationships, build new. Alliances are so important right now. What can you do together?

9. Maintain the best of the past while exploring and testing new approaches. Use the past-present-future approach and practice an attitude of positive discontent. In other words, be on your toes, don’t become complacent. Constantly evaluate saying ‘is this aspect the best it can be’? If the answer is ‘yes’, that applies to this point in time. Things are changing so fast that we need to constantly check to avoid complacency. Test continuous improvement in product, service and the way we operate.

10. Manage the present while leading to the future. A great metaphor is the captain of a submarine. He has to keep the engines running while plotting and changing course. A periscope enables him to explore the external environment, the big picture. What is happening ‘out there’? Have your antennae out.

11. Use your resources to maximum advantage. We have hidden assets. Recognise and optimise opportunities in using resources. For example, one of my clients mentioned how she was starting to plant vegetables in every suitable corner of her garden. I have done the same. Another example is that we can no longer go to gyms, but we can find creative ways of using resources at home.

12. Make use of the wonderful available offers to learn, grow and connect. My free offers are open to all readers but will be allocated on availability.

• This article is an outline to maximise opportunities for your present and future. Further articles will expand on each point.
• A complimentary one-hour Zoom workshop ‘Restructuring your own reality’ based on this article. These sessions are identical but there is a choice of two dates:
o Monday May 18 5pm (South African Standard Time)
o Tuesday May 19 8am (South African Standard Time)
To book, please send me an e-mail on brenda@strategy-leadership.com (NB – please use this form of communication)
• A free one-hour individual executive coaching sessions for each of the first five people to e-mail me at brenda@strategy-leadership.com (NB please e-mail – no other form of communication – and this offer is open to existing and past clients and others who have never been coached by me before)

In summary, I have provided a random selection of only twelve tips. This is not intended as a comprehensive list but as an outline. Further tips will be woven in to the articles that follow.

For more information on Executive Coaching, please contact Brenda Eckstein on +27 82 4993311 or e-mail brenda@strategy-leadership.com. The website is www.strategy-leadership.com

My positive contribution

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At present humanity is fighting a global war. In this unprecedented situation nations are collectively and individually fighting a common enemy.  In the midst of this catastrophic turmoil we see positive acts of collaboration, with countries trying to learn from others and work together for the common good.  And this is happening not only at mega-levels, but between communities and individuals, too.  There are wonderful examples of individuals helping each other in different ways.

HIV/Aids, cholera, bubonic plague, smallpox and influenza have been some of the most brutal killers. With the increased interconnectedness of people, physically moving from one geographic region to another for business or other reasons, Covid-19 has penetrated 189 territories at the time of writing. It seems that size doesn’t matter. This tiny organism has brought down not only one huge aeroplane, but fleets and whole airlines, economies, medical infrastructures and has changed our entire ‘way of being’.  Globally we are in this together.

For a long time we have been talking about the volatile, uncertain, complex and ambiguous (VUCA) worlds in which leaders function. This has escalated.  Complacency has given way to finding new ways of coping with this dreadful situation.  I find that my clients who are creative are coping better with the disruption and havoc surrounding us. 

Reflection is very important at a time like this. Reflecting on different ways of coping with change, I revisited Spencer Johnson’s ‘Who moved my cheese?’  There are powerful lessons for all of us.  We all have to adapt and do things differently.  We also have to recognise and optimise opportunities for working towards the common good.


 
One of my contributions is in creating Zoom forums in which we can share reflections and learnings, hold quality conversations and help each other feel less isolated.  Until this month I have invited 15 local clients to a presentation called ‘Ten Lessons’ where I shared what I had learnt during the last few months through my reflections using Kolb’s Experiential Learning Cycle. These one-hour mini-workshops included groupwork for discussion and sharing ideas.  As these were held at my home,  I can’t do that anymore. So I have upgraded Zoom and will be offering complimentary group sessions to small groups on a regular basis.  This is one of my contributions in working towards helping others to cope during these difficult times.

I’ll be holding sessions at times that suit different time zones.  If you would like to be invited to a session, please send me an e-mail  brenda@strategy-leadership.com expressing interest and letting me know which time zone you are in.

What you say matters

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The Oprah Winfrey TV show started on September 8 1986 and ran continuously for 25 years. In the final show Oprah said that over the 25 years, she had spoken to nearly 30,000 ‘hopefuls’ – in other words, people who wanted to be on her show.  Obviously, very few made it through the series of interviews culminating in their being chosen to appear on the show.

She said: "I've talked to nearly 30,000 people on this show, and all 30,000 had one thing in common: They all wanted validation. If I could reach through this television and sit on your sofa or sit on a stool in your kitchen right now, I would tell you that every single person you will ever meet shares that common desire. They want to know: 'Do you see me? Do you hear me? Does what I say mean anything to you?'


Oprah Winfrey

"Understanding that one principle, that everybody wants to be heard, has allowed me to hold the microphone for you all these years with the least amount of judgment…it's helped me to try to do that with an open mind and to do it with an open heart. It has worked for this platform, and I guarantee you it will work for yours. Try it with your children, your husband, your wife, your boss, your friends. Validate them. 'I see you. I hear you. And what you say matters to me.'"

This is a powerful lesson.  Can you imagine how much better the world would be if every man, woman and child felt that they had been seen, heard and that what they said mattered.  Isn’t that a huge lesson for each of us?  We have a role to play, even if we don’t agree with what the person is saying.

Let me share a specific example: Geoff lives this principle in an effective way. I used to smile when our grandchildren were young and came to him complaining about each other.  He would listen intently, and quietly say, ‘I have taken note of what you said’.  He gave them the impression that he had seen them, he had heard them and what they said mattered.  Usually that was the end of the conversation!  They felt validated and were satisfied.

Practice this principle and you will be helping to make the world a better place for everyone.

My questions for you are:

  • How powerfully do you feel the presence of others?
  • In which ways do you acknowledge a person’s presence, even if you aren’t able to attend to them immediately?
  • How open and non-judgemental do you appear?
  • What could you do to focus more intently on the person speaking?
  • What do you practice in order to minimise barriers to your being more receptive to what the person is saying?
  • How can you show the speaker that what they say matters – even if you don’t agree with what they are saying?

For more information on Executive Coaching, either ‘in person’ or via electronic means, please contact Brenda Eckstein, brenda@146.66.90.172 or phone +27 82 4993311,  www.strategy-leadership.com

Listen to the experts

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Privacy remains an important right.  Yet in some ways, new laws may appear to hamper our ability to communicate with our intended audiences.  Reminding our clients of our existence and building relationships through communicating, on a regular basis, is key to the successful running of our businesses.  So how are new laws going to dampen the way we operate?

This is a huge topic and I was pleased to see how Gary Eckstein has taken the lead in clarifying and simplifying the impact of legal changes for Small and Medium Businesses.  In this article, ‘Here’s how the new spam laws could benefit SME’s’, published August 8 2019,  his focus is on small businesses in Australia because that is the target audience of SmartCompany, the reputable magazine for which he has written this article.  However, his content applies to a far wider range and is authentic as he substantiates his argument with clear evidence.


Gary Eckstein – Mailchimp expert, trainer, lecturer, author

In addition, on Sunday August 11, in Let’s Talk Business, 1 million listeners on Australia’s most widely listened to radio stations (2GB (Sydney), 3AW (Melbourne), 4BC (Brisbane), 2CC (Canberra) and 6PR (Perth)) listened to the broadcast in which Gary was interviewed.  Regarded by Mailchimp as one of their ‘experts’ Gary’s academic background (Master's degree from Henley-on-Thames where his research thesis was on e-marketing) and practical experience in business consulting and training combine to make him a sought after trainer and speaker at business gatherings and at universities. 

Above are just two examples of how he shares his expertise and how his advice is sought.  Visit his website and gain further valuable information. 

My questions for you are:

• What are you doing to connect with the international experts in fields which affect your business?
• How can you adapt the valuable advice given in Gary’s article and broadcast to suit your needs?
• What is the most significant message relevant to your situation?

For more information on e-marketing and Mailchimp training please contact Gary via e-mail at gary@organicweb.com.au or visit his website www.organicweb.com.au.  Please remember to scroll to the bottom to see the video of his recent lecture at Curtin University in Perth, Australia. 

For more information on executive coaching, mentoring or personal strategy, please contact brenda@146.66.90.172

 

A Tribute to Johann von Bargen

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As a tribute to the wonderful, vibrant JvB, affectionately known as ‘the Traffic Guy’, I am republishing an article which I wrote in 2013. The article below first appeared on my website on February 27, 2013. It was later adapted and included in my book, ‘GROW: How to turn your stumbling blocks into stepping stones’, published in 2017 and still available on Amazon.

Johann was a legend and his legacy lives on through the thousands that benefitted from his wise counsel, warmth and kindness.  An ex-police-officer, he was a man of conviction who inspired people to do what was ethical.  He graciously shared his wisdom and knowledge, encouraging people to be the best that they could be.  I was privileged to participate in many of his public seminars and take part in his advanced driving courses.

As East Coast Radio’s ‘Traffic Guy’ for more than 30 years, he became well-known throughout the province. He reported and shared information on the state of our roads at regular times during the day. He warned his audience about traffic jams, accidents and road closures, advising of preferable routes. Listeners waited eagerly for his next announcements as he lightened up any situation with his wonderful, wicked sense of humour. Others knew him personally through attending his talks or going on courses where he and his teams promoted safe driving through his driving school.  He had a huge impact on the standards of driving in our province and we are extremely grateful for the many ways in which he enriched our lives.

Johan was gentleman and role model. He was a popular man who was dearly loved.  He died last week and will be sadly missed – but his legacy lives on.    ___________________________________________________________________________________________________

Life is an exciting journey and you can choose to be a passenger or drive your own vehicle.  Which is your preferred way of functioning?  And if you are in the driver’s seat, how defensively do you function?  This is important in any place that you are ‘on the road’.  However, in South Africa where the accident rate and hi-jacking rate are unfortunately exceptionally high, we need to pay even more attention to reducing risk.  

Recently at one of our Sunday Breakfast Club meetings held at the auspicious Oyster Box Hotel at Umhlanga, we were privileged to have East Coast Radio’s, ‘Trafficguy’, Johann von Bargen as our guest-speaker.  Affectionately known as ‘JvB’, he emphasised lessons and showed us practical ways of minimising risk.


The 'Trafficguy', Johann von Bargen

By combining his unique experience in the ‘Police Force’ and practical day-to-day knowledge working with traffic and mishaps, using humour he painted vivid ‘word pictures’ and regaled us with stories, each of which had a powerful lesson.  His teachings provide excellent metaphors for reducing risks as we travel the journey of life.  Let’s look at just a few of those covered:

1.    The risk of separation
In discussing ‘anti hi-jacking techniques’, JvB asked us to distinguish between ‘theft’ and ‘hijacking’.  Do you know the difference?  He explained that technically, ‘hijacking’ is where the thieves separate you from your car’.  The next question becomes:  what can I do to minimise the risk of this happening to me?

In life, our adaption to others’ expectations often robs us of being our ‘authentic selves’. Our real selves and the ‘person we have become’ are separated.  We sometimes no longer feel ‘whole’.  So, what can we do to make ourselves more aware of what we are doing and minimise the risk of losing our true identity?  ‘Executive Coaching’ can play an effective and important role in ‘getting us back on the road’.

 2.    Respond rather than react
‘Traffic Guy’ warned us that if we were in the process of being hijacked that we should not ‘fight with the hijackers’.  That sounds obvious.  These guys have guns and could use them.  JvB warned, ‘these guys react to you in the way that you interact with them’.

Isn’t that true in most aspects of our lives?  In highly emotional situations, if we can pause, step back and respond (rather than react) we have a far higher chance of getting out of these difficult circumstances.   Practice in these techniques is an important part of our ‘executive coaching’ programmes.

3. ‘Think like a hijacker’
JvB asked a simple question:  what do hi-jackers really want?  Most of us failed that question because our automatic answer was ‘my car’.  No, that is not what the hi-jackers really want.  Occasionally they may need a ‘getaway car’, but in most cases their goal is ‘money’.  They want to get rid of the car as quickly as possible and convert it to cash.

So, what information are we unknowingly providing to hi-jackers?  What patterns of behaviour do we perpetuate?  For example, do we always leave home at the same time, follow the same route, and arrive at the office at the same time each day?  How predictable are we?  In doing this we are providing observable information that hi-jackers can quickly and easily use to their advantage. 

By consciously breaking patterns we make ourselves less vulnerable (to those with negative intentions).  If we want to reduce the risk of being hi-jacked we should consciously be aware of our behaviour and purposely change our patterns.

So, what is it that others really want from us?  If we know what they want and how they think, we can adapt our behaviour to reduce the risk of misfortune.  How do we consciously ‘tune in’ to their needs and consider the way they are thinking?   Understanding and not presuming that others needs are the same as ours goes a long way in reducing risk.

4.    Look far ahead and be pro-active
By ‘far ahead’ JvB is not talking about only as far as two cars in front of us.  The emphasis is on distance.  The further we project our vision, the more likely we are to be able to observe, interpret and take appropriate action.  Timing is important.

In addition, I like to help clients to look at peripheral vision.  What is happening ahead, behind, to the left to the right, above and below? Again, this metaphor can be used in ‘driving our lives’.  For example, ‘above’ and ‘below’ can apply literally or in our families, to different generations.  In our work lives, it could refer to levels of management in large organisations.  Are we alert to what might be happening?  This links to ‘Who moved my cheese’ and the principle, ‘smell the cheese often’.  What changes are there.  What might be happening?

In coaching we provide simple ‘self-observations’ and ‘practices’ that help to ‘look beyond’ and take appropriate action.  What might be happening beyond our ‘normal’ comfort zones?  We need to constantly ‘scan the environment so that we can minimize threats and maximise opportunities.

5.    Keep moving
Further advice given by JvB was ‘keep moving’.   If we are moving, especially at high-crime intersections, we are less of a target than those who are stationery. The statistic that he gave was that by moving (instead of stopping) we have 97% less chance of being hi-jacked.  An example that he gave was that if an individual were travelling at 20km per hour, no person ‘on foot’ would be able to hold a gun at their heads.  And a large percentage of hi-jackers are on foot.

In addition, easing up slowly to an intersection where the traffic-light is red means that we spend less time in a dangerous area.  By looking far ahead and pacing our driving we can arrive at the intersection when the light is green, or even spend less time at the intersection.  By proceeding without stopping we reduce our risk enormously.

So, how do we apply this metaphor to ‘driving our lives’?  The more we fully understand dangers and the more we consciously modify behaviour to minimize potential risk, the more likely we are to proceed without incidents.

6.    Stop at a safe distance
Stopping too late or in a dangerous area can have severe consequences.  This may sound like an unnecessary warning?  But embroidered with Johann's real-life examples, it is an important lesson.

How often do we, hampered by diverted attention come to a halt too late?  And this applies in all aspects of our lives. Focus is important.  We need to find the balance and still take the risks necessary for us to grow.  Stagnation results if we spend too long in our ‘comfort zones’.  Yet we need to be aware and consciously stop before it is too late.

7.    Reverse park
This is an interesting lesson.  I have found that in countries like Australia, where the risk is much lower than here, people are much more likely to ‘reverse park’ than in this country where we need to do this as a matter of habit.  The advantages are enormous and Johann explored the advantages and possible barriers to our doing this.
 
So, how does this lesson apply in other areas of our lives?  If we are facing the right way at the start of a journey, we have a ‘head-start’ on those who need to manoeuvre to get going.  Think of the time and effort it takes to first reverse, turn your car and then get going.  Always reverse park and you’ll be able to have a clean start in the journeys ahead.

These are just a few of the profound lessons shared by Johann and I’m grateful for the role he plays in making this world a safer place for everyone.

How can you take the ‘lessons in anti-hijacking’ and use these as metaphors for improving the way you cope with challenges in your life?

For further information on Executive Coaching, please contact Brenda Eckstein on +27 82 4993311 or e-mail brenda@146.66.90.172.  The website is www.strategy-leadership.com

Questions
• Who might the hi-jackers in your life be?
• What do they want from you?
• When and where are they most likely to attack?
• How can you avoid being ambushed by them?
• Which techniques above are most likely to give a safer passage as you journey through life?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sharing your knowledge through networking

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Networking involves linking people with people, people with information and people with opportunities.   But we need to be open to recognising and optimising opportunities in order to be effective in helping others.

Let me tell you a story to demonstrate this. Years ago, I joined the National Speakers Association of Australia, Sydney chapter.  I love meeting interesting people and holding quality conversations.  On each visit to Australia I attended a meeting or conference and as a professional speaker, learnt a great deal from programmes and the amazing people I met.

Amongst them were Rob Salisbury and Monika Newman.  As in any networking it is important to build relationships and sustain them.  We kept in touch and I was delighted when they invited me to contribute an article to one of their annual composite motivational books.  Since then I have contributed most years and am delighted that the latest book was launched in February 2019. 

I am pleased to offer you a complimentary copy of Motivating your Mind – Inspiring your Spirit which you can view by clicking here. 

To view my article, click on my front cover photo that will link directly to my story. My article, Use your Low-energy Times Productively can be found on pages 51 and 52.

Congratulations and thanks to Rob and Monika on this outstanding achievement.

Questions

  • What are you doing to share your knowledge with others?
  • How can you share opportunities with people in your network?
  • To meet exciting people what can you do, where can you go?
  • How can you share this motivational book with as many people as possible?
  • In which ways can you tell Rob and Monika how you appreciate their efforts?
  • If you enjoyed an article in this book, how soon can you send a positive comment to the author of that story?

For more information on networking strategy and training or executive coach please contact Brenda at brenda@146.66.90.172

The importance of continuing

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Life is a continuum. However, often at this time of the year, we start considering our New Year’s resolutions in order to build a brighter future. But, how often do people follow through on these intentions?

While I wholeheartedly support developing carefully thought-out personal strategy, I believe that we often neglect plans for implementing and sustaining our goals. In addition, we tend to concentrate on what we need to start doing. For example, we may decide that we should start spending an hour at the gym five times a week. However, we might be doomed for failure because we do not have the capacity to start this new activity unless we stop doing something else.

In addition, complacency can be a stumbling block. While we plan what we wish to concurrently start and stop doing, we also need to remind ourselves to continue doing the things that energise us, bring us joy and help us to grow. These may include everyday experiences which are important to us. For example I was intrigued reflecting on the following glimpses of my life:

December 2018 – Brenda and Harps – Manly, New South Wales, Australia

The above photo, taken by my daughter, Lara, in December 2018, shows me with my special Grand-dog, Harps. We were on one of my favourite walks in Manly, New South Wales, Australia. Here you can see us at a great coffee shop in one of the alleys. The backdrop is colourful street-art. Because there is pavement seating, Harps is allowed to be at the table with us. So this outing combined my love of family, dogs, walking, being next to the sea, vibrant colours, appreciation of creativity and beauty and interest in the world around me.

I was reminded of another similar joyous occasion many years ago. I smiled when I looked at the photo below as it brought back memories of one of the other many important dogs in our lives.

January 1969 – Campbell, Brenda and Toni – Pietermaritzburg, Republic of South Africa

The above photo was taken in January 1969, fifty years ago. Let me set the scene: three days before our wedding, Ed’s brother Roy surprised us, knowing how much we love dogs. Our wedding gift was a miniature poodle puppy! Antoine Comte de Kintia (simply known as Toni) was precious. How could we not include him as the guest-of-honour at our wedding? Here, at the wedding ceremony, he is held by my father, Campbell.


January 2018 – Ed and Bella – Hout Bay, Western Cape, Republic of South Africa

Dogs are an integral part of our lives. Although we leave our own dogs at home when we travel, there are always opportunities where we can enjoy other people’s dogs. Above, in January 2018, my husband Ed is seen with Kevin and Gavin’s Bella at Hout Bay, Western Cape, South Africa where we were holidaying.

These are examples of incorporating experiences that bring out the best in me, energising me and enabling me to confidently pursue my personal strategy. I encourage you to do the same. Have a visible list of your ‘touchstones’, those sights, sounds, smells, tastes and experiences that help you to feel your best. Incorporating these on a regular basis will help you to feel good, be energised and enable you to stretch yourselves in working towards your vision.

My questions for you are:

  • Just as dogs are a theme running through my life, what positive recurring themes are there in your life?
  • In which ways do you consciously develop tactics for incorporating the sights, sounds, smells and experiences that bring out the best in you?
  • What are you doing to ensure that you continue doing all the things that energise you?
  • How can you use positive energy to build your confidence to tackle the more difficult aspects of your personal strategy?

For more information on personal strategy and executive coaching programmes, please contact Brenda at brenda@146.66.90.172

Countdown to 2019

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I first published this article a year ago and the feedback was great. So I have decided to share a slightly modified version.

Life is full of countdowns. We prepare for events or calendar dates that will make a numerical or biblical difference to our lives. Children, eagerly awaiting the arrival of a certain date, are often encouraged to count the number of ‘sleeps’ until the event, whether the event be leaving to go on holiday, celebrating their birthday or the arrival of an important person. Anticipation and conscious or unconscious countdowns usually go hand-in-hand.

A significant event for many in the Western world is Christmas, marked on our calendars as December 25th. In the ‘run up’ (or shall we rather refer to it as ‘countdown’) to that date, a popular tradition, again presumably to capture the attention of children, is the counting of the ‘Twelve Days of Christmas’. I was fascinated to read that the counting should start on Christmas Day. It wouldn’t be nearly as exciting for children to begin counting the days only once they have received their presents! Another intriguing fact is that there are hidden meanings to each of the elements in the song starting ‘On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me…’.

In general, in the Western world, once the commercial and family frenzy of Christmas have passed, adults tend to focus on the lead up to New Year. Most of us have an array of ‘new years’ in our lives, marked by various religious observances and holidays or a birthday which also results in a new numerical age for us. A ‘new year’ can also come with a change in status, for example, the transition to being legally responsible, retirement age or becoming a ‘pensioner’.

But not many are linked to ‘resolutions’ the way it is expected that people should make ‘new year resolutions’. In my opinion, few people actually enact their stated intentions, whether they be promises to themselves or to others. I’m advocating that people rather first reflect on their past, make meaning out of their reflections and then decide on possible actions.

In order to make this reflection exercise more fun, I have crafted a countdown. It is intended as a means of transitioning to a better ‘way of being’ in 2019. To help you, here are my suggestions and questions. Please list the:

• 12 top achievements in your life
• 11 people who have helped you to achieve
• 10 biggest challenges you have ever faced
• 9 learnings from these challenges
• 8 activities and experiences that energise you
• 7 people you’ll avoid because you find them toxic
• 6 things you need to continue doing
• 5 activities or thoughts you should avoid or minimise
• 4 new undertakings or practices you have space to start engaging in
• 3 things you’ll do differently in 2019
• 2 plans for big celebrations during the year ahead
• 1 way in which you will honour the most important person in your life…yourself!

Further questions for you are:

How will you:
• minimise negative influences and habits
• energise yourself through engaging more in those activities and experiences that have a positive influence on you?

May 2019 be a year filled with good health, great happiness, peace and prosperity. Oh, and have loads of fun doing the things that energise you!

For more information on Executive Coaching or other programmes offered by Brenda Eckstein International, please contact brenda@strategy-leaderhip.com or visit our website www.strategy-leadership.com

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