Fun | Brenda Eckstein International

FUN – spontaneous or planned

March 9, 2016 by Brenda 2 Comments

There are many ways of having fun and these may involve solitary activities or include people or our animal friends. Andries Keyser of the Lions River Railway designed his stream train in way that made it possible for his dogs to accompany him when he drives the train. That makes it even more fun for him – and for his dogs! And others can benefit from it, too.

Two of his Facebook pages which you may find interesting are:

https://www.facebook.com/keyserlocomotiveworks/?ref=bookmarks

https://www.facebook.com/LionsRail/?ref=bookmarks

Andries Keyser driving the steam train.

I was delighted when, taking my dog Shadow for a walk around Piggly Wiggly in the KwaZulu-Natal Midlands, Andries approached me, admiring Shadow. We chatted and he spontaneously invited me to take her for a ride on the train. That was great fun for both of us!

Shadow and Brenda.

Often we need to be reminded to build fun into our lives. We are so busy on the ‘treadmill of life’ trying to get the job done, that we forget to stop and enjoy ourselves. So we have to plan in order to build enjoyment into our busy schedules. However, it is equally important to leave ourselves open to recognise and spontaneously optimise opportunities. I hadn’t planned to go on the train – in fact, I didn’t know that you could take dogs on the train. I have only recently discovered how dog-friendly Piggly Wiggly is.

For me, this experience was great fun. Yet for some-one who doesn’t love dogs, or has a dog that doesn’t enjoy this kind of treat, it could be a painful experience. In fact, they might avoid any situation involving dogs. So it is important for us to remember that what feels like fun for one person is not enjoyable for another. As the saying goes, ‘One man’s meat is another man’s poison’. And it is important to consider the situation, too. If I were in a business environment, I most certainly would not be doing outrageous things like taking my dog for a train-ride on a miniature steam train!

What do you do on a regular basis that you could call ‘fun’? Although I am no ‘gym bunny’, I look forward to my visits to the gym, not just for the therapeutic results that exercise brings, but also for the social aspect. Some of my most interesting conversations take place there.

And then, once you are at the gym, it is important to do what you enjoy most. Some fill their minds with motivational tapes or enjoy listening to music. Others want to exercise while chatting to friends. I prefer the silence of my usual ritual of emptying my mind through my routine of ‘walking meditation’ whilst on the treadmill.

Often we avoid situations completely when it might be just one element that we experience in a negative way. In the gym example above, many find going to gym tedious and you might avoid going to gym. Ask yourself which aspects you might not be finding enjoyable. If your answer is that you feel isolated when doing gym on your own, consider how you might change just that aspect. You could try the various group sessions, get yourself a personal trainer or exercise with a friend. In addition you might plan to spend ten minutes after gym each day in the coffee shop facing the approaching people. The Universe might bring you some really interesting people to talk to!

So I have outlined the importance of spontaneous and planned fun. We have also considered how you might carefully look at a situation you consider not to be fun, and see if you can identify which aspects do not energise you. If you can turn those stumbling blocks into stepping stones, life could be much more fun. Fun energises and helps you reach potential in other areas of your life, too. So it is important to have fun.

My questions for you are:

What constitutes fun for you?
When last did you spontaneously have fun?
In which ways can you make chores more enjoyable?
How can you take something you are avoiding, identify the elements which you do enjoy and see how you can turn those stumbling blocks into stepping stones?

123: ‘Electric (wheel)chair’ or ‘Sportscar’?

July 22, 2013 by Brenda Leave a Comment

Life is full of challenges. This applies in the business arena and also in our personal lives. We can live a negative ‘story’ or through innovation change the situation creatively into one that not only is more acceptable, but has great benefits. We need to treat each ‘hiccup’ as a gift that could start us on a new, positive ‘story’. The old cliché, ‘if life gives you a lemon, make lemonade!’ contains a powerful message.

Let me give you an example. My husband, Ed, unfortunately experienced a major stroke 30 years ago. To us he has led a ‘normal’ life since them. Oh yes, it has been filled with major challenges but we have met those with the help of a strong support structure - our amazing close family who are always ‘there’ for us, caring friends and an unbelievable team of doctors who make themselves available to us 24 hours a day. So, I repeat, this means that both Ed and I can lead ‘normal’ lives.

We seem to go to hospital like other people go shopping! (Not quite!) Ed has just spent another 10 days in St Anne’s and had a major crisis during this time. So, obviously we were all despondent as the increased pain and further deterioration were debilitating. However, in the midst of this, Ed suddenly decided that he wanted a ‘sportscar’ and continued to search the Internet (his favourite hobby)! This confused everyone. However, he persisted in his ‘shopping around’.

As a result, ‘Sportscar’ arrived two days ago, weighing in at 48 kgs. Ed immediately decided that his new companion is a ‘he’ and named him ‘Sportscar’. I tried saying, ‘doesn’t Mellow Yellow suit him better?’ ‘Yellow Submarine’ was also suggested. (The lesson here is that we should explore possibilities.) But no, the official announcement is that his name is ‘Sportscar’. That certainly sounds much better than ‘Electric (Wheel)chair’!

Our housekeeper chuckles as she hears Ed arriving at the dinner table riding ‘Sportscar’.Like a new puppy, ‘Sportscar’ has spent the first few nights with his new owners at the foot of our bed. He couldn’t possibly be left out in the cold in the Cornerstone Carpark! However, ‘Botox’ (my white Mercedes – officially called the ‘Facelift model’ by Mercedes) and ‘Long John’, Ed’s white Mercedes ‘estate car’ (please note, also a ‘he’) are looking forward to sharing their space with ‘Sportscar’. (Life is much more meaningful when we can name things.)

Ed and 'Sportscar'.

So, why am I telling you all of this? Think of ‘Sportscar’ as a metaphor for turning problems into challenges in our business and private lives. How can we make the situation more ‘palatable’? How can we even introduce an element of Fun (with a capital ‘F’) into any situation? What can we do to turn something dreary into an exciting concept that captures the imagination of our target market and also those whom we serve? ‘Wheelchair’ has negative connotations. ‘Sportscar’ is exciting. Black is boring. Bright yellow adds ‘oomph’. ‘Bulky and square’ is stuck in the past, ‘zippy scooter’ takes us into the future. (Coaches please note – here we have ‘old narrative’ and ‘new narrative’ on a continuum. But I think it works, don’t you?)

So, my BIG question is: how do we turn the ‘wheelchairs’ or even the ‘electric (wheel)chairs’ in our businesses or personal lives into ‘sportscars’? Have fun thinking about this.

For more information on Executive Coaching or keynote speeches please contact Brenda Eckstein on +27 82 4993311 or brenda@146.66.90.172

New Growth

June 18, 2012 by Brenda Leave a Comment

Beans are an excellent metaphor for our Growth and I use this metaphor often in ‘executive coaching’ and in training programmes. Dried beans can lie dormant for a long time. All that is needed is the right environment, and dampness applied from an external source, to activate the internal energy which then builds up and causes the bean to burst open. The root goes down (grounding). Light causes the shoot to go upwards and only then do the side branches develop and reach outwards.

In the twelve-week ‘communication skills’ sessions, we use F, L, A and G as themes for each week. So at the fourth session the emphasis is on Growth. Each participant is given five dried red ‘kidney beans’ and asked to come to the next session having creatively captured the essence of ‘Growth’ using the five beans. The results have been amazing. Some choose to grow the beans and bring them to the next session ready to demonstrate the process of a bean’s transition from a dry, dormant state to its bursting forth enabling us to see the visible stages of Growth.

Njabulo Madondo, Industrial Engineer and Poet

I have seen many creative and unique ways in which engineers, accountants and others have met this challenge. Some draw pictures encompassing their values and growth. Last week, Njabulo Madondo, an Industrial Engineer in the planning department of a local industry, presented a poem which he had written. This is remarkable in many ways particularly considering that English is his ‘second’ language. (He has not yet chosen his title as this is ‘works in progress'.) I was delighted that he was happy for me to share his poem with our readers.

UNTITLED

You begin at this stage,

The stage where you’re nothing amongst nothing,

They say you’ll never go nowhere,

Be positive, the sky is the limit.

From that darkness of the shell, leave,

Your Green bright leafs will appear,

Your strong stem and trunk will appear,

Don’t lose hope; the sky is the limit,

Grow to be taller than the tallest tree,

Minerals from the soil,

Energy from your food, water,

Will keep you going,

Fly, the sky is the limit.

Strengthen you roots,

To grow deep down the soil,

Deeper than the deep blue sea,

Consume minerals,

That’ll make you grow, glow, and be glad.

Floods will not overcome you but will test you and pass,

Wind will not pull you back,

Frost will not freeze you, you’re healthy,

Sun will not burn you, but you’ll ripen.

You’ll even feed the whole world of disadvantaged tribes.

Njabulo’s poem demonstrates his own interpretation of Fun, Leadership, And (continuous improvement) and Growth. So, he has fully complied with the FLAG philosophy covered in the last post. If you would like to renew your Growth, either through individual ‘executive coaching’ or through group training sessions, you are welcome to contact me - brenda@146.66.90.172, Phone: +27 33 3425432, Mobile: + 27 82 4993311.

Expanding the ‘Cornerstone’ concept

June 11, 2012 by Brenda Leave a Comment

My personal ‘balance’ philosophy is captured in the acronym FLAG. And I know this can mean many different things to different people! I use FLAG to show that there needs to be a combination of Fun, Leadership And Growth in all our endeavours. In my workshops these four elements form the cornerstones providing the framework within which balance and achievement are possible. And in our business and daily lives this applies, too. Thus ‘balance’ forms an integral part of my work as an ‘executive coach’, too.

The template used in BEI workshops and ‘executive’ coaching.

In two separate recent ‘leadership development’ and ‘communication skills’ courses, during one of the twelve four-hour sessions, the participants, working in groups, answered the question, ‘Why is it important to incorporate Fun, Leadership, And (continuous improvement), Growth in order to achieve balance?. The consolidated input from these two groups was as follows:

Fun

Fun energises.
Positive energy and a positive mental attitude go together.
Surrounding ourselves with positive people helps us to stay positive, feel good and be happy.
Fun brings humour and laughter and this binds people together.
This attracts more people who have common interests.
Fun helps to get things done because people are more motivated.
The working environment is more enjoyable for everyone.
This builds staff morale and helps to make this the ‘firm of choice’. Staff retention improves.
Having fun encourages us to attempt things we may have tried as children and ‘put on the back burner’. Having support helps, too.
Fun helps us to look for the lighter side and make the best of every situation.
‘Fun’ needn’t be huge. Make the little things count in a suitable manner. Celebrate every step to success.
By having fun and being positive we can ‘aim for the highest’ in everything we do. Thus fun can help to lift our standards.
Laughter with friends increases our endorphins, the brain’s ‘feel good’ chemicals.

Fun enhances opportunities to develop strong Leadership and strong teams that continuously improve (A). This leads to Growth of the Leader, team-members and individuals. Thus this element impacts on the other three ‘cornerstones’.

Leadership

Leadership, whether we are leading others or practising ‘self-leadership’ is necessary for setting our vision.
We serve those whom we lead and we need to ‘lead with’ those whom we are serving.
Strong leadership enhances team performance.
Leadership provides emotional support and maintains strength within the team
It is important to celebrate the individual successes of those whom we are leading. Give credit for achievements.
We need to keep the group energised to achieve the vision and goals we set for them.
The whole concept of ‘Ubuntu’ is important. The interdependence of people means that by improving Leadership for one person there is a ripple effect on all other role-players.
As a leader it is important to know our team’s potential and thus recognise and optimise appropriate opportunities.
Leaders need to ‘pause’ and reflect in order to optimise performance.

Strong Leadership enables clearer and more meaningful visions to be set. The approach of leaders needs to be that of ‘continuous improvement’ (A) of self, the team and individuals. The Fun element energises and aids progress. Again, the interrelationship of the three facilitates the fourth, Growth.

And

‘And’ implies ‘something extra’ and we use this to denote ‘continuous improvement’.

Reflect on what needs to be improved and take appropriate action.
Stay part of the process, avoid distance.
Flexibility is important in continuously improving. Adapt to situations.
Complacency causes stagnation and we should guard against that.
Continuous improvement of ourselves involves competition with our past performance and possibly with other people. However collaboration plays a key role.
In order to continuously improve in all areas of our lives, develop awareness. We need to use our senses more and reflect.
It is important to constantly ask ourselves the ‘six wives and a husband’ questions – who, how, when, where, why, what, which? An ‘attitude of positive discontent’ helps us to find ways of continuously improving.
‘Go the extra mile’ in everything we do.
We need to be continuously improving ways that enhances our ‘authentic selves’ rather than fitting the moulds that others build for us. In other words, ‘live for yourself and not to satisfy others expectations’

Continuous improvement (A) of product, service and the way we operate enhances our performance in all areas of our lives. This impacts on our Leadership, our ability to build, sustain and spend our energy in a meaningful way (here the F is very important) and leads to Growth. So, all four elements have impact.

Growth

Concentrating on growth will help us to become the ‘person of choice’, ‘team of choice’, ‘organisation of choice’ etc.
Growth means identifying the ‘gaps’ and working on ways of closing them.
We need to communicate better in order grow as individuals, teams or organisations.
Building strong relationships provides ‘sound bases’ on which to grow further.
We need to simultaneously work towards the ‘vision’ and concentrate on our ‘tactics’, the steps necessary to get there.
Building the future and maintaining the present are important for real growth to occur. For example, if we have no vision, we’ll stay where we are. (No growth). However, if we don’t ‘maintain the present’ everything will collapse and we won’t ever reach our future vision!
In order to see how much we have grown, we need to stop, reflect and look back on the starting point and distance travelled.

Growth is an outcome of continuous improvement (And). But we need direction and Leadership to co-ordinate our efforts and make our ‘continuous improvement’ part of our journey. It can’t be ‘granular’. Without Fun this would all become a tiresome, heavy exercise and there would be little enjoyment and little motivation to continue the journey. So, Fun is an essential ingredient in our cohesive approach to balance – in whatever we do.

What are you doing to gain more ‘balance’ in your life? In a previous post entitled ‘FLAG cornerstones’ on October 26 2011, I provided a brief questionnaire from my first book, ‘Networking tactics’. These FLAG principles can easily be incorporated in leadership or self-development programmes. If you would like more information on our training courses or ‘executive coaching’, you are welcome to contact me - brenda@146.66.90.172, Phone: +27 33 3425432, Mobile: + 27 82 4993311.

FLAG Cornerstones

October 26, 2011 by Brenda Leave a Comment

The cornerstones form part of the structure of your Personal Networking Plan in ‘Networking Tactics’. But we also use them for other strategy plans like, ‘Customer Service’, ‘Personal Strategy’ etc.

The four cornerstones are:

Cornerstone 1 – Fun

What ‘fun activities’ do I really enjoy?
How can I incorporate more fun into my work and personal life?
Who can help me generate more laughter?
How can I energise myself and my team through celebrations?

Cornerstone 2 – Leadership

Am I ‘serving’ those whom I ‘lead’? Am I ‘customer driven’?
What am I doing to improve ‘self-leadership’?
How am I motivating my teams (or groups – for example, family) to achieve a vision?
What can I do to improve my leadership skills?
Am I helping individuals in my ‘teams’ to reach potential?

Cornerstone 3 – And – Continuous Improvement

In my work situation, what am I doing to constantly upgrade my skills?
How am I constantly ensuring that my product, service and the way I operate are all the best they can be?
What is my personal competitive advantage? And how do I maintain it?
How am I constantly trying to improve the various facets of my product, service and the way I operate?
Am I ‘fast and flexible’? Can I recognise and optimise opportunities?

Cornerstone 4 – Growth

How are fun, leadership and continuous improvement helping me to grow?
What am I doing to ensure that I’m using all resources available to me, to maximum advantage?
What am I doing to grow personally?
Who are those people who’ve helped me reach potential in my business capacity? Have I said ‘thank you’ to them?
Which authors have helped me to grow from a business and personal perspective?

FUN – spontaneous or planned

123: ‘Electric (wheel)chair’ or ‘Sportscar’?

New Growth

Expanding the ‘Cornerstone’ concept

FLAG Cornerstones

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