Brenda Eckstein International

Strategy, Leadership, Integral Coaching and Communication consulting

The importance of continuing

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Life is a continuum. However, often at this time of the year, we start considering our New Year’s resolutions in order to build a brighter future. But, how often do people follow through on these intentions?

While I wholeheartedly support developing carefully thought-out personal strategy, I believe that we often neglect plans for implementing and sustaining our goals. In addition, we tend to concentrate on what we need to start doing. For example, we may decide that we should start spending an hour at the gym five times a week. However, we might be doomed for failure because we do not have the capacity to start this new activity unless we stop doing something else.

In addition, complacency can be a stumbling block. While we plan what we wish to concurrently start and stop doing, we also need to remind ourselves to continue doing the things that energise us, bring us joy and help us to grow. These may include everyday experiences which are important to us. For example I was intrigued reflecting on the following glimpses of my life:

December 2018 – Brenda and Harps – Manly, New South Wales, Australia

The above photo, taken by my daughter, Lara, in December 2018, shows me with my special Grand-dog, Harps. We were on one of my favourite walks in Manly, New South Wales, Australia. Here you can see us at a great coffee shop in one of the alleys. The backdrop is colourful street-art. Because there is pavement seating, Harps is allowed to be at the table with us. So this outing combined my love of family, dogs, walking, being next to the sea, vibrant colours, appreciation of creativity and beauty and interest in the world around me.

I was reminded of another similar joyous occasion many years ago. I smiled when I looked at the photo below as it brought back memories of one of the other many important dogs in our lives.

January 1969 – Campbell, Brenda and Toni – Pietermaritzburg, Republic of South Africa

The above photo was taken in January 1969, fifty years ago. Let me set the scene: three days before our wedding, Ed’s brother Roy surprised us, knowing how much we love dogs. Our wedding gift was a miniature poodle puppy! Antoine Comte de Kintia (simply known as Toni) was precious. How could we not include him as the guest-of-honour at our wedding? Here, at the wedding ceremony, he is held by my father, Campbell.


January 2018 – Ed and Bella – Hout Bay, Western Cape, Republic of South Africa

Dogs are an integral part of our lives. Although we leave our own dogs at home when we travel, there are always opportunities where we can enjoy other people’s dogs. Above, in January 2018, my husband Ed is seen with Kevin and Gavin’s Bella at Hout Bay, Western Cape, South Africa where we were holidaying.

These are examples of incorporating experiences that bring out the best in me, energising me and enabling me to confidently pursue my personal strategy. I encourage you to do the same. Have a visible list of your ‘touchstones’, those sights, sounds, smells, tastes and experiences that help you to feel your best. Incorporating these on a regular basis will help you to feel good, be energised and enable you to stretch yourselves in working towards your vision.

My questions for you are:

  • Just as dogs are a theme running through my life, what positive recurring themes are there in your life?
  • In which ways do you consciously develop tactics for incorporating the sights, sounds, smells and experiences that bring out the best in you?
  • What are you doing to ensure that you continue doing all the things that energise you?
  • How can you use positive energy to build your confidence to tackle the more difficult aspects of your personal strategy?

For more information on personal strategy and executive coaching programmes, please contact Brenda at brenda@146.66.90.172

Countdown to 2019

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I first published this article a year ago and the feedback was great. So I have decided to share a slightly modified version.

Life is full of countdowns. We prepare for events or calendar dates that will make a numerical or biblical difference to our lives. Children, eagerly awaiting the arrival of a certain date, are often encouraged to count the number of ‘sleeps’ until the event, whether the event be leaving to go on holiday, celebrating their birthday or the arrival of an important person. Anticipation and conscious or unconscious countdowns usually go hand-in-hand.

A significant event for many in the Western world is Christmas, marked on our calendars as December 25th. In the ‘run up’ (or shall we rather refer to it as ‘countdown’) to that date, a popular tradition, again presumably to capture the attention of children, is the counting of the ‘Twelve Days of Christmas’. I was fascinated to read that the counting should start on Christmas Day. It wouldn’t be nearly as exciting for children to begin counting the days only once they have received their presents! Another intriguing fact is that there are hidden meanings to each of the elements in the song starting ‘On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me…’.

In general, in the Western world, once the commercial and family frenzy of Christmas have passed, adults tend to focus on the lead up to New Year. Most of us have an array of ‘new years’ in our lives, marked by various religious observances and holidays or a birthday which also results in a new numerical age for us. A ‘new year’ can also come with a change in status, for example, the transition to being legally responsible, retirement age or becoming a ‘pensioner’.

But not many are linked to ‘resolutions’ the way it is expected that people should make ‘new year resolutions’. In my opinion, few people actually enact their stated intentions, whether they be promises to themselves or to others. I’m advocating that people rather first reflect on their past, make meaning out of their reflections and then decide on possible actions.

In order to make this reflection exercise more fun, I have crafted a countdown. It is intended as a means of transitioning to a better ‘way of being’ in 2019. To help you, here are my suggestions and questions. Please list the:

• 12 top achievements in your life
• 11 people who have helped you to achieve
• 10 biggest challenges you have ever faced
• 9 learnings from these challenges
• 8 activities and experiences that energise you
• 7 people you’ll avoid because you find them toxic
• 6 things you need to continue doing
• 5 activities or thoughts you should avoid or minimise
• 4 new undertakings or practices you have space to start engaging in
• 3 things you’ll do differently in 2019
• 2 plans for big celebrations during the year ahead
• 1 way in which you will honour the most important person in your life…yourself!

Further questions for you are:

How will you:
• minimise negative influences and habits
• energise yourself through engaging more in those activities and experiences that have a positive influence on you?

May 2019 be a year filled with good health, great happiness, peace and prosperity. Oh, and have loads of fun doing the things that energise you!

For more information on Executive Coaching or other programmes offered by Brenda Eckstein International, please contact brenda@strategy-leaderhip.com or visit our website www.strategy-leadership.com

Countdown

by 1 Comment

Life is full of countdowns. We prepare for events or marks on the calendar that will make a numerical or biblical difference to our lives. Children, eagerly awaiting the arrival of a certain date, are often encouraged to count the number of ‘sleeps’ until the event, whether it be leaving to go on holiday, celebrating their birthday or the arrival of an important person. Anticipation and conscious or unconscious countdowns usually go hand-in-hand.

A significant event for many in the Western world is Christmas, marked on our calendars as December 25th. In the ‘run up’ or shall we rather refer to it as ‘countdown’ to that date, a popular tradition (again presumably to capture the attention of children) is the counting of the ‘Twelve Days of Christmas’. I was fascinated to read that the counting should start only on Christmas Day and that there are hidden meanings to each of the elements in the song. However, I don’t think it would be nearly as exciting for children to begin counting the days only once they have received their presents!

In general, in the Western world, once the commercial and family frenzy of Christmas have passed, adults tend to focus on the lead up to New Year. Most of us have an array of ‘new years’ in our lives, marked by various religious observances and holidays or a birthday which also results in a new numerical age for us. A ‘new year’ can also come with a change in status, for example, the transition to being legally responsible, retirement age or becoming a ‘pensioner’.

But not many are linked to ‘resolutions’ the way it is expected that people should make ‘new year resolutions’. In my opinion, few people actually enact their stated intentions, whether they be promises to themselves or to others. I’m advocating that people rather first reflect on their past, make meaning out of their reflections and then decide on possible actions.

In order to make this exercise more fun, I have crafted a countdown for reflection. It is intended as a means of transitioning to a better ‘way of being’ in 2018. To help you, here are my suggestions and questions. Please list the:

  • 12 top achievements in your life
  • 11 people who have helped you to achieve
  • 10 biggest challenges you have ever faced
  • 9 learnings from these challenges
  • 8 activities and experiences that energise you
  • 7 people you’ll avoid because you find them toxic
  • 6 things you need to continue doing
  • 5 activities or thoughts you should avoid or minimise
  • 4 new undertakings or practices you have space to start engaging in
  • 3 things you’ll do differently in 2018
  • 2 plans for big celebrations during the year ahead
  • 1 way in which you will honour the most important person in your life…yourself!

Further questions for you are:

How will you:

  • minimise negative influences and habits
  • energise yourself through engaging more in those activities and experiences that have a positive influence on you?

May 2018 be a year filled with good health, great happiness, peace and prosperity. Oh, and have loads of fun doing the things that energise you!

For more information on Executive Coaching or other programmes offered by Brenda Eckstein International, please contact brenda@strategy-leaderhip.com or visit our website www.strategy-leadership.com

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