Brenda Eckstein International

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Messages in the sand

October 29, 2015 by Brenda Leave a Comment

As I walked along the Promenade at Umhlanga, KwaZulu-Natal this morning I noticed sand-sculptures created by an entrepreneurial craftsman.  The message on one attracted my attention:  ‘Poor people progress from poverty to prosperity provided they are prepared to pay the price’.

Sand sculptures on the beach at Umhlanga, KwaZulu-Natal.

Sand sculptures on the beach at Umhlanga, KwaZulu-Natal.

This message intrigued me.  On reflection, I needed to consider it firstly from the point of view of the person who had chosen that message to display on his creation.  He himself is some-one who most probably comes from a place of poverty.  So he would have his own perspective on how lack of financial resources would impact on every aspect of his life. 

Yet he has taken constructive action in finding a way of combining his skills to create masterpieces. And he has developed his work to incorporate a distinct African flavour.  He has needed few resources as in that environment, he has no rent and the sand can be used freely.  The water he needs to dampen the sand is easily accessible.  He most probably has no formal employment so the opportunity cost is minimal.  And he has chosen to work in a system where there is a captive audience which will bring financial gains.  Locals and foreign visitors frequent the Promenade to have their daily exercise, to walk from one part of Umhlanga to another or to enjoy the seaside attractions. 

Secondly, I needed to consider or reflect on his work and his message in terms of how it applied to us, the passers-by.   I am always impressed when people take positive action to meet the challenges facing them.  Our rate of unemployment in the formal sector is unfortunately exceptionally high in South Africa.  So this man has recognised and optimised opportunities.  Many people, even if they saw possibilities may not convert them to constructive behaviour which would bring positive outcomes.  Yet, this man has done this, setting an example to others by achieving measurable outcomes.

And let’s also look at his message in terms of its interpretation.  I’ll do that in true coaching tradition by asking you, the readers to consider the following questions:

  • In which ways are you suffering from poverty? For example, you may be financially poor, time-poor or even emotionally poor.
  • In relation to your poverty, where are you now on a scale of 1 to 10 with ten representing ‘prosperity’ and your score would show where you perceive yourself to be at present.  If you are financially poor, your assets at present may be R1000 or less (poverty) and your goal R10000 (prosperity).  Thus you’d score yourself as 1.
  • What plans can you put in place in order to achieve your goal – in other words, to move you from 1 to 10?
  • How can you measure your progress?
  • What price will you pay to achieve this?

I would add that a BIG question might be:  what price are you paying for not taking action to move from poverty to prosperity?  I believe that paying a price is part of what needs to be done, but other constructive action is also necessary.  Rights and responsibility go hand-in-hand.  

While I fully appreciate and abhor the poverty in which some find themselves, I wish that more were able to come and see what a man like this has done and be inspired by his work.  He has thought outside the box and found employment that lifts him out of the realm of hopelessness in which many tend to exist.  He may not yet have moved far along his journey from poverty to prosperity, but he certainly deserves to stop paying and start enjoying his achievements.

For more information on keynote addresses, leadership development and coaching please contact Brenda at brenda@stategy-leadership.com or +27 33 342 5432.

The Power of Caring and Sharing

January 24, 2012 by Brenda 2 Comments

Most of us are inundated by e-mails and we may regard our unwanted messages as ‘time stealers’.  However, we appreciate those that enable us to function more efficiently in our business or private lives. These are important. We also enjoy receiving others because they share something special with us.  It might be a photo of a friend’s child’s first day at school or a grand-daughter wearing her new glasses.  It could be a message or newsletter giving us a glimpse of friends lives. Or it could be another personal message that we are delighted to receive. 

And occasionally – just sometimes we receive an unexpected message that truly enriches our lives. Let me tell you a story.  I’m part of a coaching group and my ‘class mates’ know I’m passionate about sunrise and the changing light at sunset.  These experiences are what I call ‘touchstones’.  

Every now and then, one of the class members will send me an e-mail with a photo and this is so easy to do from their phones.  I just love those e-mails.  Some-one has cared enough to ‘take action’ and let me know in a positive way that they are thinking about me.  That is truly powerful.

There have been many of these thoughtful messages and I’m grateful for every single one.   For example, Pam sent me a beautiful photo of sunrise with the message ‘I thought of you when I was driving to work this morning and took this photo’.  This week, Guy sent me the photo below with ‘Brenda, I thought of you and took this picture.’

This ‘cares for my soul’.  By the way, if you haven’t yet read Thomas Moore’s ‘Care of the Soul:  a guide for cultivating depth and sacredness in everyday life’, you’ll be doing yourself a favour if you order a copy and read it.

With one of the clients I’m coaching at present, as a distinction, we used a picture of blue sky, mountains and trees and then a busy river with logs and lumberjacks at the bottom of the photo. These were all metaphors for different aspects of his life.  Over the 6 months of our coaching sessions he has done exceptionally well in establishing new habits and enriching his life.  Recently, in the KZN midlands where we live, he moved home and told me about the new view from his veranda.  Yesterday I received this photo from him and was so very thrilled that he had thought of sharing.

His message was simple, but powerful:

Hi Brenda, 

This is my view every day from my veranda. 

Sky, trees & hills, "small" water. 

Regards, Gary 

This spontaneous message is also one of the best e-mails I have ever received.   It shows me a beautiful scene, one of great peace, and helps me to visualise his new life in context.  This ‘picture’ fits so well with our distinction and ‘future narrative’ in our coaching.  So, he has turned many ‘stumbling blocks’ into ‘stepping stones’ and I’m so happy for him.

So, what is my message to you?  There is great power in sharing. And I’m not talking about group messages.   Let people know individually you care and that you are thinking of them, in a way that ‘touches their souls’.  You’ll be enriching their lives and yours as well. 

You may wish to do the exercise below: 

1.  Calculate roughly how many e-mail messages you have received over the last week.  (You don’t have to be exact.) 

  •        How many of them have meant a great deal to you personally?
  •        What is it about those messages that have made you feel good?

You’ll most probably find that the percentage of meaningful messages you received is low.

2. Then reflect on:

  • How many individual messages (not group messages) have you sent where you have let some-one know sincerely that you thought of them in a special way?
  • Right now, look around you.  Who could you take a photo for?  Continue looking over the next few hours – or even days – until you find something that will mean a great deal to that person.  Send it to them with a message that will ‘touch their souls’.  The message can be very short – see the examples above.

Take action!  Tell others that you care.  Share in a personally meaningful way and you will be enriching the lives of others. You’ll also be building stronger relationships. 

You are welcome to share your stories with me – brenda@146.66.90.172  I look forward to hearing from you.  Thank you!

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