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The missing model

January 22, 2015 by Brenda Leave a Comment

During various training programmes, I often play a game which involves asking participants to write down the first word that comes to mind when I say a certain word.  This is the beginning of an exercise in creativity and the purpose is to show individuals how differently we link words with perceptions.  For example, if I say ‘set’, some people may write down ‘tea’, others choose ‘tennis’ while ‘maths’ is often given as a response, too. 

In this first step of the game, another word I sometimes use is ‘model’ and here again, examples of the first set of responses from different participants could be ‘car’, ‘ramp’ or ‘coaching’.  Let me clarify:  you could be thinking of the ‘model’ of car you wished to buy, the ‘model’ showing clothing on the catwalk or for those of us who are integral coaches we might instantly link to the ‘models’ we almost unconsciously use in assessing our clients. 

So we need to stretch our minds and see how differently others are seeing the world.  And the words we use can often be a clue to this.  And of course we express ourselves in so many other ways, too.  To many of us, colour plays an important part.  So when I see an excellent example of an advert using words, colours and ways of appealing to different senses through different sets of words, I find this very exciting.  Below is an example of a poster which I find particularly appealing.

blog179

But going one step further, I had an ‘aha moment’  when I walked into our neurologist, Dr Zaheer Sacoor’s newly decorated rooms and found that his wife and their decorator had incorporated this magnificent concept into a mural covering a whole wall in their waiting room.  This is visually appealing and so appropriate with the work he does.  Well done, Dr Sacoor, you are not only a brilliant doctor, but you are thinking outside the box and ‘modelling’ the work you do.  Thank you for being such a wonderful inspiration. 

It might be a bit difficult to read the words on the image above, so here are the words: 

Left brain

I am the left brain.
I am a scientist.  A mathematician.
I love the familiar. I categorize.  I am accurate.  Linear.
Analytical.  Strategic.  I am practical.
Always in control.  A master of words and language.
Realistic.  I calculate equations and play with numbers.
I am order.  I am logic.
I know exactly who I am.

Right brain

I am the right brain.
I am creativity.  A free spirit.  I am passion.
Yearning. Sensuality. I am the sound of roaring laughter.
I am taste.  The feeling of sand beneath bare feet.
I am movement.  Vivid colours.
I am the urge to paint on an empty canvas.
I am boundless imagination.  Art.  Poetry.  I sense. I feel.
I am everything I wanted to be.

As integral coaches, we use different models in assessing our clients in order to get a clearer picture of how they are seeing the world and how their ‘issue’ is impacting on their ‘way of being’.  And while the concepts embedded in ‘left brain/right brain’ are woven through other models, I have used the beautiful image above as a screen saver to remind myself to question my clients around these concepts.  This just could be my ‘missing model’! 

For more information on Executive Coaching or training in communication skills please contact brenda@146.66.90.172 or phone +27 82 4993311.

The Big Picture

November 12, 2014 by Brenda Leave a Comment

The messages in this poem apply in so many areas of our lives.  Often we may be seeing the trunk while others are looking at the tail.  

THE BLIND MEN AND THE ELEPHANT 

John Godfrey Saxe's (1816-1887) version of the famous Indian legend.

It was six men of Indostan
To learning much inclined,
Who went to see the Elephant
(Though all of them were blind),
That each by observation
Might satisfy his mind.

The First approach'd the Elephant,
And happening to fall
Against his broad and sturdy side,
At once began to bawl:
"God bless me! but the Elephant
Is very like a wall!"

The Second, feeling of the tusk,
Cried, -"Ho! what have we here
So very round and smooth and sharp?
To me 'tis mighty clear
This wonder of an Elephant
Is very like a spear!"

The Third approached the animal,
And happening to take
The squirming trunk within his hands,
Thus boldly up and spake:
"I see," quoth he, "the Elephant
Is very like a snake!"

The Fourth reached out his eager hand,
And felt about the knee.
"What most this wondrous beast is like
Is mighty plain," quoth he,
"'Tis clear enough the Elephant
Is very like a tree!"

The Fifth, who chanced to touch the ear,
Said: "E'en the blindest man
Can tell what this resembles most;
Deny the fact who can,
This marvel of an Elephant
Is very like a fan!"

The Sixth no sooner had begun
About the beast to grope,
Then, seizing on the swinging tail
That fell within his scope,
"I see," quoth he, "the Elephant
Is very like a rope!"

And so these men of Indostan
Disputed loud and long,
Each in his own opinion
Exceeding stiff and strong,
Though each was partly in the right,
And all were in the wrong!

MORAL 

So oft in theologic wars,
The disputants, I ween,
Rail on in utter ignorance
Of what each other mean,
And prate about an Elephant
Not one of them has seen!

What are your ‘blind spots’?  What is stopping you from seeing the Big Picture?  

A good coach can help you to broaden your horizons.  

For more information on Executive Coaching services please contact brenda@146.66.90.172 or phone +27 82 4993311.

Shifting your view

September 24, 2014 by Brenda Leave a Comment

As an Executive Coach, my role is to help individuals ‘turn their stumbling blocks into stepping stones’.  And changing the way they view the world can bring sustainable shifts to their ‘way of being’.  

We use distinctions to amplify the changes that we are looking for.  An example can be seen clearly from these three photos where I was standing in exactly the same place and simply focused first up, then straight ahead and in the third picture I tilted downwards. 

View 1.

View 1.

I might ask a client to focus only on the first picture above without looking at the other photos.  My questions could be:

  1. If you were in this picture, who are you?
  2. Who are others?
  3. How do you behave?

Obviously, your responses would be based on how you see this picture in context.  Where are you?  What is this structure?  What is supporting it?  What is above you?  What is below you?  Is this sunrise or sunset? etc. 

How different your responses might be if you saw only the next picture, where from exactly the same position, I have tilted my lens straight ahead of me.

View 2.

View 2.

So, if my client were to see only this view, the responses to the same questions would be very different.  By the way, the reason I saw this beautiful picture while looking straight ahead of me is that my room at the beautiful Oyster Box Hotel was on the third floor.  Standing on the balcony looking at this angle I was fascinated by the detail and I’m sure my clients would be, too.  For example, you can see a fisherman in action on the rocks. So when answering the question ‘who are you’, my client might answer in terms of ‘I’m the fisherman on the rocks’ or even, ‘I’m a captain of one of those ships out at sea’.   There were nineteen ships waiting to come in to Durban Harbour. 

Because from View 2 it is obvious that we are looking at a lighthouse, another possibility would be that the client could see themselves as the lighthouse keeper.  And that would be interesting because nowadays there is no man sitting at the top of the lighthouse making sure it works properly!

View 3.

View 3.

Although tilting my camera downwards does not change the view substantially from the second picture, there is additional information.  Here you can see more details of the actual hotel property.  There is the added dimension of the sunloungers and swimming pool.   Later in the day there would also have been people on the relaxers, in the swimming pools or walking around and that would also have impacted on answers given when applying the questions to this picture.  So time of day also changes perception.  On the rocks, the lone fisherman can still be seen waiting for the next fish to bite.  

To many, by adding more detail (View 3) more context would be added.  To others, seeing only the top of the lighthouse, and ‘not knowing’ would open up a world of possibilities.  They could imagine, be creative and introduce their own interpretation of what the surroundings might be.  To those people, having a ‘what if….’ approach could generate new ideas, innovation and creativity.  They might not be limited by the extra detail. 

I invite you to consider very carefully how you are tilting your camera.  And perhaps by changing it slightly, you could see a different world, or a different view of your world.  What might you missing by staying focused, always fixing your view at the same angle?  

Of course, by putting yourself in surrounding that motivate you, you are more likely to be able to absorb the beauty of the possibilities that surround you.  These photos taken from my balcony at the beautiful Oyster Box Hotel certainly help me to be in tune with my authentic self.  By recharging my batteries, I’m able to go forth, explore possibilities and take the best possible action. What can you do to put yourself in the best possible place then alter your angle to be the best for you at that time?  

For more information on Executive Coaching or Keynote Speaking, please contact brenda@146.66.90.172 or phone +27 82 4993311.

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