Creativity | Brenda Eckstein International

Painting a brighter future

January 8, 2018 by Brenda 3 Comments

* The artist’s name has been changed in order to protect her identify. Poppy is not her real name. All other details are true.

As professional coaches we don’t usually coach family or friends and nor do we coach without permission. So, under normal circumstances I would not coach a person now aged 45 whom I had known since she was a little girl. I had been friendly with her parents at the time she graduated and then became a competent, successful and respected professional in her field. In addition, a prohibiting factor to me as a professional coach was that she had been disabled through Major Depressive Disorder (MDD) and unable to work for the last 10 years. Her ongoing support falls in the domain of professional doctors and therapists.

However, visiting her home informally for the first time, I noticed a beautiful painting on an easel. I presumed that her mother, a professional artist, had painted the artistic portrait of her daughter. However, Poppy confided that she had painted the self-portrait and that this was the last of her own acrylic paintings, created more than 10 years ago, before MDD robbed her of the ability to paint. Prior to that she had loved painting.

I was dismayed that her incredible character strength of creativity should be wasted. As a professional strengths-based coach I know how important it is for us to energise ourselves through using our strengths. As I stood admiring the painting I spontaneously gently suggested that, to get her back to painting, she should try painting a portrait of my husband and me. (I was not coaching her, just encouraging her as a friend.)

Her face lit up as she immediately agreed. I stressed that she should use her artistic licence (do it her way!), that there was no obligation, no commitment to her ever completing it and there was no deadline. I just wanted her to pick up a paintbrush and start painting again. I had no expectation but I believed in her and in her ability to complete this task.

I provided her with a choice of photos as a starting point and wasn’t even sure which she had chosen. Twice during the six month period since that chance encounter she phoned to apologise that it was taking so long.

I wasn’t even sure that she had started painting! So, I’m not sure who was more excited, Poppy or me, when she phoned unexpectedly to tell me that the painting would be ready the next day. And it was! My husband and I are both overjoyed at the outcome. This work of art will remain a symbol of huge human endeavour and achievement and a reminder of the power of positive encouragement. She later confided that at times she had blocks and panic attacks and was not able to paint. The journey was extremely difficult. She said: ‘I had underestimated the enormity of the challenge and the extent to which my illness had deprived me of the ability to even pick up a paintbrush. Without your continued support, compassion and encouragement I would have been too overwhelmed to complete the task.’

I’m pleased to say that Poppy has motivated herself not only to paint again, but her stumbling block has become a stepping stone. She has already started on the next project!

Poppy has asked me to share her story and her letter of appreciation. We both hope that this will provide encouragement to others who are incapacitated through various mental illnesses.

From: xxx (her details have been purposely removed in order to protect her identity)
Sent: Tuesday, January 2, 2018 7:08 PM
To: brenda@146.66.90.172
Subject: Reigniting the seemingly impossible ....

Dearest Brenda,

It has now been over 10 years since I was diagnosed with MDD (Major Depressive Disorder), an illness that stripped me of everything I once knew as my life; and most devastatingly my sense of "self".

Until recently, it would also be the last time I could bring myself to paint a canvas.

And then there was you ... And to me you are the heroine in this story. Your intuition and expertise in helping others ignite and reach their true potential is a gift.

Thank you for your patience, support and unfailing encouragement; and mostly for believing in me even though I couldn't.

For anyone who is interested in seeing your practice in results, I have attached a copy of the original photograph you gave me and my resultant artwork portrait.

Fondly and gratefully,

x

The photo which Poppy chose was taken by professional photographer, Karen Edwards in 2015.

Photo by Karen Edwards (2015)

The above photo provided the inspiration for Poppy who then used this as a starting point to create her artistic interpretation (seen below). You’ll notice she has included my love of vibrant colours and the Aboriginal influence relevant to our children living in Australia.

Painting by the artist (completed January 2018)

I feel emotional when considering the enormity of her achievement and feel very humble that she feels I played a part. It just happened that I was in the right place at the right time. That chance encounter opened doors for both of us. She has worked at regaining her ability to paint and achieved her goal in completing her first assignment.

However, I acknowledge that the wonderful work done by the team of professional doctors and therapists, combined with the support lovingly given by her close family provided the framework and enabled her to reach the stage where she was ‘open’ to my suggestion. On her part it also took great courage for her to accept that challenge.

Poppy did not need to discover her creative strength. She had lost the ability to apply that strength. I am deeply grateful that she has regained her dormant creative strength and that she is able to paint again. Using her strength brings her joy. I’m hoping that over time, the resulting energy from her sustained use of her creative strength will provide leverage and enable her to use her other strengths to even greater advantage. I look forward to watching her progress.

My message is clear: be open to noticing what is missing in other’s lives. Encourage them in a sincere way that is acceptable to them. Continue to ‘be there’ even remotely for the person. What may seem insignificant in the giver’s eyes can be life-changing to the receiver.

My questions for you are:

How can you be more observant so that you notice others’ strengths?
What can you do to help them change their stumbling blocks into stepping stones?
How are you helping others to recognise and optimise opportunities?
How are you sustaining support, even remotely, by continuing to encourage, even in small ways?
In which ways are you introducing positive new beginnings into your own life?

For further information on keynote addresses, Executive Coaching or other services offered by Brenda Eckstein International, please contact brenda@146.66.90.172

The missing model

January 22, 2015 by Brenda Leave a Comment

During various training programmes, I often play a game which involves asking participants to write down the first word that comes to mind when I say a certain word. This is the beginning of an exercise in creativity and the purpose is to show individuals how differently we link words with perceptions. For example, if I say ‘set’, some people may write down ‘tea’, others choose ‘tennis’ while ‘maths’ is often given as a response, too.

In this first step of the game, another word I sometimes use is ‘model’ and here again, examples of the first set of responses from different participants could be ‘car’, ‘ramp’ or ‘coaching’. Let me clarify: you could be thinking of the ‘model’ of car you wished to buy, the ‘model’ showing clothing on the catwalk or for those of us who are integral coaches we might instantly link to the ‘models’ we almost unconsciously use in assessing our clients.

So we need to stretch our minds and see how differently others are seeing the world. And the words we use can often be a clue to this. And of course we express ourselves in so many other ways, too. To many of us, colour plays an important part. So when I see an excellent example of an advert using words, colours and ways of appealing to different senses through different sets of words, I find this very exciting. Below is an example of a poster which I find particularly appealing.

But going one step further, I had an ‘aha moment’ when I walked into our neurologist, Dr Zaheer Sacoor’s newly decorated rooms and found that his wife and their decorator had incorporated this magnificent concept into a mural covering a whole wall in their waiting room. This is visually appealing and so appropriate with the work he does. Well done, Dr Sacoor, you are not only a brilliant doctor, but you are thinking outside the box and ‘modelling’ the work you do. Thank you for being such a wonderful inspiration.

It might be a bit difficult to read the words on the image above, so here are the words:

Left brain

I am the left brain.
I am a scientist. A mathematician.
I love the familiar. I categorize. I am accurate. Linear.
Analytical. Strategic. I am practical.
Always in control. A master of words and language.
Realistic. I calculate equations and play with numbers.
I am order. I am logic.
I know exactly who I am.

Right brain

I am the right brain.
I am creativity. A free spirit. I am passion.
Yearning. Sensuality. I am the sound of roaring laughter.
I am taste. The feeling of sand beneath bare feet.
I am movement. Vivid colours.
I am the urge to paint on an empty canvas.
I am boundless imagination. Art. Poetry. I sense. I feel.
I am everything I wanted to be.

As integral coaches, we use different models in assessing our clients in order to get a clearer picture of how they are seeing the world and how their ‘issue’ is impacting on their ‘way of being’. And while the concepts embedded in ‘left brain/right brain’ are woven through other models, I have used the beautiful image above as a screen saver to remind myself to question my clients around these concepts. This just could be my ‘missing model’!

For more information on Executive Coaching or training in communication skills please contact brenda@146.66.90.172 or phone +27 82 4993311.

Beans

August 21, 2014 by Brenda Leave a Comment

In our Executive Coaching and various training programmes, we encourage participants to develop their cognitive and emotional sides. For some this involves developing their creativity and for others, being reminded of their talents. By helping to build new neural pathways, participants are more likely to use their talents.

As a symbol of Growth, in many of our programmes, the participants are given five dried beans. The questions are:

What causes the bean to be dormant?
What external forces might cause it to sprout?
What is happening inside the bean as the energy builds?
Which bursts forth first? (root – grounding)
What comes next? (shoot reaching upwards)
And then what is the horizontal pull?

There are so many more questions that could be asked and these would amplify the message.

This is a great metaphor for our own lives. We are the dormant beans and often an outside influence, like being exposed to a training or coaching programme, will cause the energy to build. By putting roots down, we become more grounded, gain sustenance etc. The upward shoots reach towards the sun and the illumination becomes a catalyst for changes, well-being and growth.

When asked to do something creative with their beans, I’m fascinated by the way in which participants meet the challenge and present their work at the next session. Gareth Ramsey, a young man who is part of the Treverton Post-matric group and engaged in our twelve-week Communication Skills programme, wrote this poem and I’m grateful that he agreed to share:

Beans…

Simple beans
Simple dreams
One and the same
To achieve we train
Beans grow because of the rain
We both grow
By experiencing pain

But to what end?
To be the mighty oak
Who shelters all and their yolk?
Or the slender stalk
Who blow tenderly in the breeze
And live their lives totally at ease?

But there is one truth for both
The strong shelter all
Even the weak
And the ones at ease
Always try appease
and make one brighten a life in need

Regardless both make use
Despite any suffered abuse
As a babe lies tenderly in its mothers arm,
And a bean rests in my palm
Both have potential
They just need love to be a little
Tender and warm.

For more information on our Communication Skills, EYES (Enhance Your Executive Skills) other training programmes or Executive Coaching, please contact brenda@146.66.90.172 or phone +27 82 4993311.

137: Broken biscuits

October 25, 2013 by Brenda Leave a Comment

When my mother was young, her family was very poor. She tells the story of how on special occasions they could afford to buy biscuits. But they didn’t go to Woolworths and buy a packet or two. They would go to the local factory and buy the broken biscuits. And they loved them.

That made me think of how unappreciative we often are – and how wasteful many of us in Western society have become. There is nothing wrong with ‘broken biscuits’. They taste the same. The only difference is in our attitude. In life if whatever we approach, we enter with an attitude of appreciation, we will gain great gifts every day of our lives.

Many of us are surrounded by excess and that has become the ‘norm’. I grew up in a middle class family and we had one bathroom, one car and we were lucky to have one telephone. There was no TV in South Africa until I was 30 years old. Nowadays even young children have their own cellphones – and they feel inferior if not provided with their preferred brand. When we renovate our homes, I am told that it is expected that each child will have their own ‘en-suite’ bathroom. Luxury abounds.

In some ways this easy access to abundance destroys creativity. Many people in our society no longer consider, ‘what shall we do with the leftovers’? It is obvious! They go straight into the garbage bin. Gone are the days when we lovingly created new combinations from our leftover food or other consumables. The basis of Creole cookery is looking in the cupboard and fridge and saying ‘what scraps are there that we can use in preparing supper tonight? And how can we most excitingly combine those ingredients?’ I still run my kitchen like that. It is fun!

And let’s look at another aspect of ‘brokenness’. In a jigsaw puzzle, if we discover near the end that a piece is missing, the annoyance often outweighs the satisfaction of the careful precision with which we put the pieces together. We notice the ‘missing piece’ more than we notice ‘the whole’.

The same applies to our chipped crockery. If it isn’t perfect it becomes redundant. Or does it? I have a remedy for that. Take up mosaicking. Putting together the pieces in new creative combinations is good for the soul.

So, how else can we apply these principles? The broken biscuits, the scraps, the missing jigsaw piece and chipped crockery can be metaphors for our lives and for society. How do we mend what is broken? Or even better, how can we create exciting new combinations? We need to explore possibilities and then recognise and optimise opportunities. Creativity and innovation are fun! And appreciation is the ‘golden thread’ taking us from ‘brokenness’ to ‘wholeness’.

For further information on Executive Coaching and keynote speaking please contact Brenda on brenda@146.66.90.172 or +27 82 4993311.

129: Creative writing

August 20, 2013 by Brenda Leave a Comment

Creativity can flourish within a structure that has become a person’s default. Individuals don’t have to waste energy wondering how to go about organising a sea of possibilities. Neural pathways are developed through doing the same thing over and over. It takes practice! But the results are worth the effort.

Let me share an example:

I’m excited because the Treverton Post-matric group, today participated in Session 9 in their Communication Skills course and excelled. I could see how far they have progressed since Session 1. And they could feel it, too.

Practising the PREP formula (structure) over and over has been an integral part of the course. They have applied it to a wide range of written and verbal situations, so it is becoming their default when faced with organising a sea of information. The possibilities are endless.

L-R: Brenda Eckstein, Jonty, Mpumi, Oliver, Dylan, Jacoba, Stephanie, Athol Davies (Director, Treverton Post-matric), and Tyron.

Today we were practising how to organise information in a hurry. We tried a few examples where each person was giving a random word and had to immediately present a structured impromptu speech. It wasn’t easy. An hour later, I gave them all a new word, the same word, ‘set’. They were given only two minutes to prepare a structured speech. I was astounded at the excellence and variety of their approaches. Creativity was there in abundance! So I then asked them to write out the outline of the speech. And these are provided below.

Please note – each was given the same word, ‘set’ and each was giving only two minutes (from scratch) to come up with their approach and fit it into the structure. It is amazing how differently each person approached the assignment.

These are organised in first name alpha order.

Dylan van Wyk

On your marks, get set, go! Don’t wait and let time pass you by.

Game, the first stepping stone to accomplish your goal. You may win or lose but the fact that you got started is the important part. Build yourself up, learn from your opponents, gain strength and skills to move you further.

Set yourself up. Do what work you want to do. There is no point in being unhappy with your current situation. It’s your opportunity to find what you are good at and use it as your advantage.

Match. Use your skills to win and bring back the gold. Hit the ball where you know your competitors won’t be able to return it. Become the champion that everyone looks up to. You have worked so hard to achieve what you wanted.

On your marks, get set, GO.

Live life today so you don’t miss tomorrow.

Jacoba Veenstra

Set yourself free from others. Life is too short to fit in and to be the same as everyone else.

The place where you were born defines who you are. This is where the seed is planted as to identify your personality.

As you live and grow in this community you find your true value and talents. This energy will help you to make the right choices in life. Be the person you aim to be and try not to lose yourself by trying to fit in with the crowd. Be an O among the X's.

Once you have become the person you want to be, stand out. Be a tree among the bushes and bloom. Do things beyond what is required and bridge the gap.

Set yourself free from the world and be yourself.

Jonty Schwartz

Set yourself apart from the competition.

If you can achieve this you will stand out from the crowd and your good work will be noticed quicker than if you conform to the practices of everyone else.

Separate yourself from the competition by defining a strength that you possess that not many people have.

Annihilate your competition by being the best at your particular strength. Make sure no-one can match you or even come close to you at that one particular thing.

Train at your strength so that it continues to grow and improve so that no one will ever know your limit to how much you can achieve at your particular strength.

If your unique in a better way over all your competition, you will be picked every time.

Find your strength and work like hell at it.

Mpumi Dlomo

Set: referring to a completed collection; the location where a cinematic sequence is shot; or the fixedness of objects or other intangibles, or abstract objects. This is how sets apply in life.

1st: Sets of vinyl are truly amazing: not just for their antiquated nature, but for the fact that they have a crisp sound to them, unmatched by the quality of any technology that we have at present. Giving us the obvious ability to see for ourselves that sometimes the old ways are the best, because they ensure that they do things the correct way, and in the greatest quality.

2nd: cinematic or theatrical sets, the locations created from fictional ideals, usually modeled on impossibilities or created through an expansion of existing concepts. This is the crystallization of dreams and fantasy, which each and every person has, or experiences. Do this in life as directors, actors, script writers and set builders do in their professions, build the set of your life and expand on the existing, no matter how much of an impossibility it may seem.

The concept of forever is pretty set: fixed, unchanging... Sad to say that in life the only time you have is a whole lot less than forever, every second compounds, and all that compounding leads to minutes, all those minutes compounding lead to hours and all those hours lost lead to days, months and years of waste, time that you will come to wish you had spent better, time you could have truly used, to make a difference in your life of someone else's. Youth wasted being idle, wisdom unused due to the lethargy of age and the inevitability to ever exert control over the passage of time; all you can do is prepare for it.

What is left of your life? Are there pieces left? Or is there a legacy? A completed set? Were you solid? Did you complete your challenges? Like Arthur and that sword set in stone. Did you do well to prepare for the passage of time? Life is Set, you are here, make the best of it, set your mark in stone. Embrace it.

Oliver Momberg

SET nightclub is a very average club. I went there recently and I did not have the best time.

Small: The dancefloor is by far way too small to hold the actual amount of people that come in. For a club in such a great position (Rosebank), there should be at least 4 bars where it only has 2.

Expensive. The drinks at SET are through the roof!!! For one Castle light it is R30. I can imagine a double vodka and mix being at least R60.

The set up is bad. The main bar is on the dancefloor which is already too small. They have a tiny VIP area which is not even worth paying for as normal ticket holders get in their quite easily. The DJ booth is nowhere to be seen.

SET is a very average night club. If you want to spend all your money on an average night, go to SET.

Stephanie Cockcroft

Set is a word that if looked at in different circumstances, is timeless. It is used to define the sun sinking over the horizon at the end of every day. It is used to start a race as in ‘ready, set, go’ or ‘are you all set?’ And it is used to define a scene created for a movie or photo shoot and in this case it is timeless.

A sunset defines the end of another day and can bring out emotions such as passion, love, sorry, regret, worry or fear for what is to come. We see a sunset in a different light every evening because of what follows and what new beginning lies ahead. We see it as an end for what has happened during the day and now it is over.

‘Are you all set?’ is an expression that marks the beginning of so many things. You could be preparing to leave, you could be on the starting block of a race track, you could be waiting at the start line of the motor race track. In all cases it is a way of marking a beginning, a new beginning often of something great.

A theatre set is a set that changes and yet is timeless. A theatre set does not change itself, but it changes because of the people around it. The performance itself changes the set but the set itself can we kept forever.

Any set in the world is not the beginning nor end of any point in your life. And endings mean new beginnings and beginnings mean new ends.

Do not be afraid of the new ‘set’s to come in your life.

Tyron Arnell

The principles we can learn from the seemingly childish game of Lego can prove vital to ensuring good teamwork between colleagues.

Start small – in Lego we all started off with small structures and as we built more, so we graduated to larger and more complex structures. When you assemble a new team, don’t give them the toughest job straight away – let them handle a few smaller ones and build a strong relationship.

Every block plays its part – take a piece out of the bottom and your structure collapses. Keep everyone involved, even if they play minor roles in the assignment. Leaving them out could result in these minor duties developing into major cracks.

Learn from mistakes – we’ve all had a structure collapse now and then. We know how not to place blocks after that. Apply this lesson in the work place, too. If something collapses, don’t do the same thing over.

The lessons we can learn from Lego can help us greatly when teaching in the workplace. I urge you to consider this message when in the office environment.

Well done, Treverton Post-matrics. You have excelled and I’m proud to share your contribution with our readers. As you travel forth, take these learning with you and use to enrich all domains of your lives. I look forward to hearing of your progress.

For more information on our Communication Skills course (12 4-hour sessions) or other training courses, please contact Brenda Eckstein on +27 82 4993311 or brenda@146.66.90.172

Your Life’s Story

May 8, 2011 by Brenda Leave a Comment

This article is devoted to family, friends and business associates who have enriched my life. You all have wonderful stories to tell – and I keep nagging many of you to ‘take action’ and write your life’s stories. Sometimes it is easier to get started by making lists or answering questions. So, I hope that this exercise will help you.

PAST
Let’s start by looking at some of the influences that have shaped you.
People: please list 10 people who have had a positive impact on your life.

What did each person do that was so special?
Great – you are doing well!

Achievements: list 10 achievements that you are really proud of.

What effect did each of those have on your life? Or how did each of those change your life?
That wasn’t difficult, was it?

Past challenges: list 5 challenges that you have overcome.

PRESENT
Let’s move on to the present.
Present challenges: list 5 challenges that you are facing now.

Sense of belonging: where do you belong? What groups are you part of?

Nationality
Ethnic
Religious
Tribe or clan
Family
Generation
Gender
Educational or professional
Organisations
Hobbies, sporting, creative or musical groups

How about trying to find another 5 groups that you belong to that are important to you? These can be formal or informal groups.

Next: how similar are you to the other people in each of the above groups?
How do you differ from most people in those groups?
Spend a few minutes pondering your involvement.

Who are you (now)?
Please list 5 ‘touchstones’ – in other words, those things, people or situations that really bring out the best in you – for example, sunrise, your dogs, an engrossing book etc.

Your values
5 of your top personal values are:

FUTURE
Now we move on to your future state.

Your vision
What do you want your life to be like in 3 years time? Please ‘stretch’ yourself – but still be realistic.

How will you be adding more fun to your life?
Who are the people you want to be spending most time with?
How will you be investing and spending your time?
What financial assets will you have accumulated?
What will you be earning and how will you be saving and spending your money?
Which tangible items mean a great deal to you?
Where will you be situated geographically?
What will you have achieved through study or skills development in the next 3 years?
What will you be doing more of (than you are doing now)?
How will you be building, conserving and spending your personal energy?

Stop, start, continue
In order to achieve your 3-year personal vision:

What must you continue doing?
What must you start doing?
What must you stop doing?

If you’d like more details on setting your personal strategy, please read ‘Networking Tactics: a guide to achieving success through personal networking’ – Brenda Eckstein.

Glance through your answers. You are unique. No-one else could have given the combination of answers that you have provided. So, capture the essence and begin writing an aspect of your life that you are enthusiastic about. After all, you are the world expert on YOU!

I hope that this brief exercise has stimulated your creativity and motivated you to start writing your special ‘life’s story’. I look forward to hearing your progress.

Warm wishes,

Brenda

PS – Well done!

Painting a brighter future

The missing model

Beans

137: Broken biscuits

129: Creative writing

Your Life’s Story

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