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Unlikely heroes

October 19, 2014 by Brenda Leave a Comment

Heroes come in many shapes and sizes.  And sometimes our stereotyping prevents us from recognising the value of these people.  In the last month I’ve been privileged to interact with two individuals who most certainly are heroes from my perspective. 

The first is a quietly spoken man, France Mthiyane.  I first met him as a participant in a customer service training workshop, part of an ongoing programme run for over 300 staff at Save Hyper, Pietermaritzburg.  During a session I was telling the story of my childhood and how my mother gave me the responsibility for polishing the apples in her store. Having shiny apples gave her business a competitive advantage. In addition, by assigning me tasks that I was capable of being good at, she was setting the path for my future success. 

I tell this story in workshops and then ask questions that will help participants to gain insight.  After a few questions, I asked: ‘So, once I’m continuously polishing the apples and making them look good, and more and more customers are coming to buy them, what do I need to be careful of?’  The customary answers would likely be:  don’t stop - continue polishing to keep up the standards – reputation management – continue assigning tasks that will help people to become successful etc.   In addition to these responses, France put his hand up and explained how we have to treat each apple with great care so that we don’t drop it.  And then with wisdom, he expanded on the concept.  His message conveyed the importance of respect for all people and all things. 

Brenda Eckstein, France Mthiyane and Rashaad Solomon, Manager Save Hyper.

Brenda Eckstein, France Mthiyane and Rashaad Solomon, Manager Save Hyper.

Throughout our programme I have been impressed by his ongoing contributions.  However, when shopping I have also watched him on the Save Hyper ‘floor’, too.  He is often near the front helping any customer who needs a basket or other assistance.  Or we might find him pushing heavy trolleys or helping other staff members in some way.  People must think he is important, that he has a fancy title.  However when I asked him what he was employed to do, he proudly answered, ‘I look after perishables’.  I wanted to know more!  He explained that his job description is ‘fridge packer’ and that he deals with cold items.  He said this with pride and obvious enjoyment.  Then he added:  ‘You must like what you do, and then you’ll be successful’.  

This great lesson and France’s wonderful example show us that every one of us can go way beyond the boundaries imposed by a job description.  If we love our jobs and are prepared to make the effort, we can excel at any level.  Throughout the course, each week he has consistently been chosen as a ‘Customer Service Hero’ by the staff. I commend the Save Hyper directors and management team for announcing France as the first ‘Staff member of the Month’ (October 2014).  

My second hero is an insurance assessor.  At the thought of claiming from insurance most of us go into ‘flight mode’.  We know it isn’t going to be easy to gain fair compensation. And although we have suffered a loss, however small or big, we get ready for the ‘fight’.  Yet, there are heroes out there and I’d like to tell you more about my dealings with Reyaz Allee,  Claims Assessor, KZN Claims Processing Hub, Mutual & Federal Insurance Company Limited. 

Here is the background:  a few weeks ago disaster struck in the form of a burst sewerage pipe which flooded two rooms at our home.  To get to this guest suite, we have to go out through an external entrance and down some stairs. As my husband is handicapped and now battles to get down the stairs, we don’t often use that area. In addition we have spare bedrooms in our main house so when family or friends come to stay, there is no need to use this exterior guest suite.   However we do use it for storage and go there perhaps twice a month at the most.  

On one of these visits, we were horrified to find that not only had the bathroom been flooded but so had the bedroom, now a storage room.  I was shocked and dismayed that something like this could happen in our home.  Yet this was an emergency and I had to work out how to manage this dreadful situation.  In a state of panic I called the plumber who came with a team of five and ended up working for four days chopping away banks, digging up the garden, tracing the fault and then repairing it.  They also started the initial cleaning.  I also managed to engage industrial cleaners who came on site immediately.  

However it was only after we’d set the process in motion, trying to create order out of chaos, that some-one asked what role our insurance company was playing.  I hadn’t thought about that!  I phoned our insurance broker who immediately swung into action.  Yet I still felt overwhelmed at the thought of filling in all the forms, getting quotes and still trying to manage the clean-up process.  When I was told that the assessor had been appointed, I wasn’t sure whether I was in fight, flight or freeze mode.

Reyaz Alee, Claims Assessor.

Reyaz Alee, Claims Assessor.

However Reyaz Alee instantly became my hero.  He dealt with this dreadful situation with efficiency and compassion.  I was really upset as many sentimental and valuable items had been destroyed or contaminated.  How do you ever replace an antique leather suitcase? You can’t.  And what about my mother-in-laws sleeper couch?  Yet Reyaz became my partner in finding the best possible outcome.  He immediately sent builders to remove the wooden doors and steps.  He also included Lynda from ‘Gran & Gramps’ who became a fairy-godmother – or shall I call her a ‘heroine’?  She advised, looked for solutions and came and collected our valuable wooden furniture to decontaminate and restore it.  The plumbers, builders, cleaners, Lynda, ‘salvage contactor’ and Char, who was dealing with curtains and blinds, had to be managed and Reyaz did that, being accountable and keeping me informed at all times.  We were partners in creating order out of chaos.  And I believe that after hours of careful negotiation, on each item (and there were hundreds) that we were able to achieve an outcome that was fair to all parties.  Reyaz, I commend you as one of my heroes. 

So here we have two case studies.  And my questions for you are:

  1. France, a ‘fridge packer’ and Reyaz, an ‘insurance assessor’ are unlikely heroes. What are the characteristics of these two very different heroes that put them in a category way above others in their fields?
  2. What part does their excellence play in shifting our perceptions of the brands they represent?
  3. Name two unlikely heroes with whom you have interacted in the last month. What characteristics or behavior made them extraordinary?
  4. How might their behavior have impacted on customers’ or clients’ experience of the service the company or firm offers?
  5. What have you done to show appreciation? And how have you escalated your commendation to higher levels within their organisations so that they’ll be recognised by their superiors?

Heroes are everywhere.  Notice them and show appreciation.  An added benefit is that you might become one of their heroes! 

For more information on Customer Service Training, Executive Coaching or Keynote Speaking, please contact brenda@146.66.90.172 or phone +27 82 4993311.

Attitude or behaviour?

October 12, 2014 by Brenda Leave a Comment

During a recent stay at the Oyster Box Hotel I met a fellow trainer and coach from the UK.  I was delighted to be invited to observe one of his excellent training sessions during which he asked participants the question:  ‘What is more important, attitude or behaviour?’  This generated healthy discussion.   Pondering their responses, I thought of the work of Dr John Adair who in one of his books entitled, ‘Action Centred Leadership’ draws attention to the fact that a person can have all the characteristics of a good leader, but if that person doesn’t put them into action (behaviour) they remain dormant characteristics. 

The question of the importance of attitude and/or behaviour linked to my experiences as a presenter of interactive workshops.  During the sessions, wherever possible, I get participants to practise using their own examples from their work, home and community lives.  And as the day progresses, they become more and more proficient.  However, no matter how enthusiastic participants might appear during the session and how much they show the right attitude, I receive little feedback, especially after short courses.  I want to know how they have applied the new techniques and other learnings during the days, weeks and months following the workshop.  

So I was delighted when Bradley Bissessar, Senior Security Supervisor at the Oyster Box Hotel, a few weeks after attending ‘How to get your point across’ proudly showed me how he carries the formulae cards with him in his wallet as a reminder to apply the principles (Please see the photo).  He spontaneously and enthusiastically told me exactly how he is applying the simple formulae he mastered during the workshop.  He gave me an example of how in his work situation he has used the PREP formula for safety briefings to groups of guests.   This enables him to easily structure his information into a coherent talk which is logical and easy to follow.  Bradley says:  ‘the course gave me a lot of confidence in myself.  It helps me to get my point across effectively’.  He also added ‘knowledge is power. And this is a priceless gift that cannot be taken away even with the essence of time. Use it wisely.’

Bradley Bissessar.

Bradley Bissessar.

He is also constantly applying the formulae in his private life. An example is where he used the PREP and assertiveness formulae to structure a personal letter and this helped him to crystallise his feelings and resolve an issue amicably.  Well done, Bradley!  So he has applied the learnings and made them part of his way of functioning.  It becomes so easy when you know how! 

Yes, it is important to have the right attitude.   In the case of training sessions, people might be eager (attitude) to improve the way they do things (behaviour).  And they might participate effectively on the day (attitude and behaviour).  However, the way the person actively and consistently applies and practises afterwards will determine ongoing success.  New neural pathways need to be built. 

Let’s move away from the training perspective and look at the question of ‘attitude or behaviour’ from an integral coaching approach. Attitude shows a ‘way of being’ and in coaching terms this links to ‘heart’. Behaviour links to ‘action’.  So a missing component is ‘head’.  The next question is how do we bring ‘head’ into the equation?  By helping our clients to ‘self-observe’ they become aware of what they are or aren’t doing, feeling and experiencing. They might notice their ‘blind spots’. By practising the right behaviours over and over we build new neural pathways.  Through an Integral or Executive Coaching approach clients can thus more easily ‘self-correct’ and ‘self-generate’ and thus shift their ‘way of being’.  

Going back to the original question regarding ‘attitude or behaviour’ being more important, while I believe that a combination of attitude and behaviour is important, there are many other aspects in achieving sustainable success. What is your opinion? 

For more information on training in communication skills, leadership development or executive coaching, please contact brenda@146.66.90.172 or phone +27 82 4993311.

Leadership development: Catch some-one doing something right

October 17, 2012 by Brenda Leave a Comment

It is so easy to notice the negative aspects of some-one’s behaviour, especially if that person is a member of the team we are leading or managing.  ‘The task must get done’ is often our emphasis.  So, our theme for this week’s article is ‘let’s shine up the people’.  We’ll most probably find that we’ll build positive relationships and get better results.  This forms part of our ‘leadership development’ programmes.

It’s so easy to ignore or avoid people when they are not enriching our lives.

A story will put the message in context.  When my children were young and I fetched them from school, I’d ask:  ‘Who did you play with today’? Depending on their answers, my question might be, ‘And why didn’t you play with x’?  Often the answer would be ‘Because they are horrible’ – or they’d mention that the other person had behaved in way that impacted negatively on them. 

I would then take out a can of Brasso (shining agent) and my line of questioning would go like this – and it still does, for my adult audiences:

  1. If you had a beautiful shiny brass vase, like this one, and left it in a cupboard, without giving it any attention, what would happen to it in the ‘long term’?
    (It would become tarnished.)
  2. So what might you do in relation to that vase?
    (You may just leave it in the cupboard – it isn’t so attractive any more.) 
    (There is less chance you’ll ‘take it out and play with it’)
    (You may even push it to the back of the cupboard and forget about it.)
  3. What happens the longer you leave it in the cupboard?
    (It becomes even more tarnished and therefore less attractive.  And it requires more work to shine it up.)
  4. So, if we were to take it out the cupboard, apply a bit of Brasso and spend a few      minutes rubbing it, what would happen?
    (It would begin to shine.)
    (It would become more attractive again.)
    (It reflects light and thus appears interesting from different angles.)
    (We see the reflections of our own face when looking at it.) 

The message is that the benefits of sincerely ‘polishing up the people’ are huge.  Sometimes we need to take conscious action to notice our impact on others.  The small things can make a big difference.  By showing genuine appreciation we can raise a person’s energy and make life far more enjoyable for them – and for ourselves. The ripple effect on all aspects on individual lives and on teams is enormous.

So, ‘catch people doing something right’ and praise them immediately.  You’ll enrich their lives and your own life, too.  This is an important lesson in ‘leadership development’.  For more information on this topic please contact me - brenda@146.66.90.172, Phone: +27 33 3425432, Mobile: + 27 82 4993311. 

Assertiveness Formula

May 27, 2012 by Brenda Leave a Comment

In a previous blog, ‘Ten tips on Assertiveness’ I gave the background to the importance of being assertive rather than aggressive.  The last point involved the assertiveness formula and I’m expanding on that concept here.

By learning this simple technique and practising it regularly, it can become your ‘default’ enabling you to hold conversations you may be avoiding.  Thus you can improve your performance in your business, community and private lives.  And this will help you to feel more effective and happier.

How often have you avoided a person because their behaviour annoys you?  And how often do you talk with a person but avoid certain topics of conversation because these topics are emotionally charged (either for you or for the person you are speaking with)?  And how often have said what you want to say… and had disastrous results?

When I am coaching executives, facilitating ‘leadership development’ or running ‘communication skills’ training workshops, I often identify the need for individuals to become more assertive. I show them the formula, they practice each day, (developing their ‘talk’ for different situations), and then apply where appropriate.  The results have been outstanding.  And it is so simple: 

  • When you……..(mention the other person’s behaviour) 
  • I feel…… (take responsibility for your emotions) 
  • because ……. 
  • I would prefer you to……………… 

Here is an example:

I was highly irritated that my housekeeper seemed to use the noisy vacuum-cleaner whenever I was on the phone.  So, I called her and politely said:

‘Sybil, when you use the vacuum cleaner in the passage and I’m on the phone,

I feel very embarrassed

because I can’t hear what the other person is saying.

I would prefer you to check whether I’m on the phone before switching the vacuum cleaner on. 

Sybil was very apologetic as she hadn’t realised the noise bothered me.  And now, before switching the vacuum-cleaner on, she always checks to see whether I’m on the phone. 

Let’s go through each element of the formula and explore in more detail:

  • When you……………This first statement enables you to identify the other person’s behaviour that triggers your response.  That in itself is therapeutic.
  • I feel…………………...You are recognising and taking responsibility for your own emotions.  I find that participants in my workshops often automatically turn this statement around to ‘You make me feel…..’.  So, it takes practice to stop blaming the other person.  You need to take full responsibility for what you are feeling.  (Nobody can challenge what you are feeling!) 
  • Because…….. Having to state the reason for your feelings helps you to identify the cause.
  • I would prefer you to……..This focuses on the solution.  Think about it!  How do you want that person to modify their behaviour?  The word ‘prefer’ takes your statement from a command to a statement of a preference. 

By concentrating on the core of your message, you are ripping away the emotion.  Standing and practising this enables you to develop a ‘posture of confidence’ which will help when you get into a ‘real’ situation’.

Use this formula regularly and you will get better results.

Code of Professionalism

May 13, 2012 by Brenda Leave a Comment

Background and explanation

During leadership development courses, I often facilitate the development of a ‘Code of Professionalism’ where the team starts from scratch and through conversation decides what the main points in their ‘code of professionalism’ should be.  Starting with ‘we will at all times’, participants populate their ‘code’ asking ‘what do we really mean by this’?  

I stress the importance of discussing behaviours which are congruent with that principle and those which are contrary to the principle.  Interesting points emerge from the group and members often become aware of how differently others may perceive aspects of their own behaviour.
 
Where courses run over a period of a few months, by sporadically going back to their ‘code of professionalism’ and redefining the main points, we see how the document reflects the rising maturity of the group. 

Athol Davies – Post-matric Director

I’m currently running a communications skills course, emphasising ‘leadership development’ for the 2012 Treverton Post-matric group.  It is interesting how different their updated code now is, four months after the start of their programme.  I’m also fascinated at how different this ‘code’ is from those I have facilitated for teams in the business environment where the emphasis is on behaviour needed to get the job done in the most professional manner.  The Treverton group definitely has a greater emphasis on values and life skills.  And that is appropriate for their needs.
 
Below is their (still draft) ‘Code of Professionalism’ capturing my understanding of their main points from our session this week.  In knocking it into shape, I have needed to incorporate the intention of the various groups and taken editorial licence in adding a few of my own comments.  So, this is a ‘living document’ and may very well be further modified at our next session. It is very interesting looking back and seeing the first stages of developing the ‘code’ four months ago at the beginning of their ‘Post-matric year’ when they were a group of diverse people – and now they are a team working together towards a common goal!
 
I feel they have done an excellent job in developing this code.  And, if you’d like to know more about the Treverton Post-Matric course, please visit their website.  The Post-matric Director, Athol Davies is to be commended on the wonderful way in which he leads this group of young people, achieving magnificent shifts in their ‘way of being’. 
 
Code of Professionalism:  Treverton Post-matric – May 2012

We will at all times:

  1. Behave in an ethical way

Choose to do what is right, not what is easy.  Abide by the rules, working within an acceptable framework.  But, expand your horizons.  Be adventurous by questioning and stretching boundaries where it will cause no harm.  

  1. Show respect

Showing respect to the environment, animals, others and ourselves leads to protecting what is good and consciously doing no harm.  Tidiness (of the environment and self), dressing appropriately, speech, and manners are all part of respect - and so are punctuality, respecting other’s ‘space’ and belongings.  

Respect helps to build positive relationships. 

  1. Lead by example

Self-leadership and leading teams are part of leadership development.  Leadership involves setting a vision, motivating others to achieve the goal and helping others to reach potential.  

Leaders need to set an example for others to follow.  Push beyond current limits both mentally and physically.  Aim at the highest from a head, heart and action perspective thus setting standards of excellence.  

  1. Encourage others

Encourage others by acknowledging their achievements and motivating them to do their best.  In addition, by exposing them to things they would not normally do, they might find something they will be unexpectedly good at or really like. This will help them to grow and reach higher levels and cause a ‘ripple effect’.  

  1. Treat others with empathy

Be mindful of their needs.  Empathy promotes action, enhances capabilities and builds people. It is important to go beyond differences and negative feelings and to ‘tune in’ to the person, their situation and their current needs.   Be nice to others, treat them with kindness and caring. They have the right to be treated with respect. 

  1. Practise tolerance

Be patient.  Accept people and allow their differences.  Tolerance leads to greater understanding.  Try to understand why people think and behave the way they do. Listen to their ideas and accept their choices.  

Looking beyond differences, we’ll find similarities as we ‘share the same space’.  We can use other people’s positive differences (their strengths) to enhance ourselves. 

  1. Listen to others

It is important to go beyond hearing what people are saying. Listen actively.  Validate others – ‘I see you, I hear you and what you say matters’. This shows support and builds relationships, generating further growth. 

Listening promotes understanding of others and is a skill needed for self-growth. 

  1. Cultivate a positive attitude

Be careful of negative self-talk and limiting beliefs.  Consciously see the good in all things and in others.  But be objective.  Look for value.  Cultivate and maintain a positive attitude. 

  1. Be inspired

Believing in something greater than ‘self’ helps to ‘keep you going’.  Look for inspiration.  Being motivated stems from being inspired.  Maintain a level of motivation and results will be better. 

  1.  Keep up appearances

Maintain high standards for the group and individually.  Make sure the ‘outside’ is not a veneer.  Allow your authentic self to shine through.  

And don’t judge a book by its cover. The cover is not the book – the contents may be very different. 

If you are interested in finding out more about our ‘leadership development’ programmes, or any of the other services we offer, you are welcome to contact us directly on brenda@146.66.90.172 or Phone: +27 33 3425432, Mobile: + 27 82 4993311.

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