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127: Growth through Integral Coaching

August 15, 2013 by Brenda Leave a Comment

As mentioned in the two previous articles, Growth is an integral element in our training and coaching.  And to symbolise Growth, in many programmes I use the distinction of a dried red kidney bean.  The bean may lie dormant for years.  Then suddenly when exposed to the right amount of water, energy starts to build from within.  In the case of humans, this new stimulation could be the influence of Integral Coaching, also referred to in this website as ‘Executive Coaching’. 

The bean bursts and the root goes down to anchor the plant. Humans also need to be ‘grounded’ in order to cope with life’s many challenges and be the best that we can possibly be.  The root also provides conduit taking water and minerals from the soil so that it can be pumped and distributed to the cells in the rest of the plant. 

Next, the shoot, escaping the safely of the dried bean goes upwards reaching towards the sun, into the fresh air in order to tap into oxygen and other elements which will sustain the plant. Humans reach upward finding a new source of light or enlightenment.  

Depending on the type of earth and environment in which the plant finds itself, it will thrive or be stunted.  In humans we have the advantage of being able to move ourselves towards fertile soil once we ‘unblock’ our blind spots.  And Integral Coaching can help us to do that.  However, without regular water, the plant will battle to survive.  What are you doing to expose yourself to ongoing positive stimulation?

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L-R: Riaan van der Merwe, Bonnie Mbewe, Bongani Gumede, Lorato Mosetlhanyane, Moses Ngorima, and Brenda Eckstein.

I am privileged to be the mentor for a group of coaches studying towards their Associate Coaching Course (ACC) through the Centre for Coaching, Graduate School of Business, UCT.  At our recent session, as an exercise in developing distinctions, I invited each member of the ‘pod’ to contribute a mini-lesson on personal Growth and allocated one letter from the word BEANS to each. Their independent valuable input follows: 

B – Body - Bonnie Mbewe 

We need to take care of our body, mind and spirit as part of our personal growth. The body can collapse if not looked after properly. One can take care of the body through good nutrition, i.e. eating healthily, regular exercise and rest. It is essential for personal growth that one gets enough sleep so the body can regenerate cells. The body tells us when it is tired. It becomes sluggish and can manifest in illness which can lead to a complete breakdown. The body is like a computer that needs to reboot in order to work optimally.   

E – Energy – Bongani Gumede 

Have you noticed how your levels of energy and of those around you influence how much you achieve? Even when driving you assess the terrain and determine how much energy your vehicle needs to achieve the desired outcome. Our bodies and minds function similarly, it is important that when we approach a task at hand we ‘rev’ and pump up our energy, drive ourselves through the task to achieve the desired outcomes. As Tony Robbins once said, "The higher your energy level, the more efficient your body will be and, the more efficient your body, the better you feel and the more you will use your talent to produce outstanding results." 

A – Attitude – Lorato Mosetlhanyane  

Our attitude is the difference maker in everything we do and personal growth is not an exception. James Allen said “people are anxious to change their circumstances but are unwilling to change themselves, they therefore remain bound.” As coaches, we cannot give what you don’t have. We therefore have to develop ourselves and grow to keep adding value to others as coaches. If we believe we are learned as coaches, that attitude will stand on our way, but if we humble ourselves and have a teachable spirit, we will learn, grow and be in a position to help others grow and become better people.    

As coaches, let us be rivers and not reservoirs: reservoirs take in water to only fill themselves up, but a river, whatever water it receives, it gives away. If we want to keep coaching, we have to keep growing. 

N – Nutrients - Moses Ngorima 

Nutrients are essential for a coach’s sustenance and growth and these include physical, mental, spiritual and emotional nutrients. Physical nutrients are ingested or obtained from the environment e.g. food and energy from sunlight respectively. They may also come from rest, sleep and exercise. Mental nutrients may be obtained from learning new things such as integral coaching while spiritual nutrients may be obtained from various activities such as reading, prayer, mediation, and yoga.    Emotional nutrients could be obtained from joy emanating from deep relationships and connections with worthy purposes.  

S – Strategy – Riaan van der Merwe 

When looking back at my growth over the past years, it has become clear to me that, without fail, the periods I became most stuck was when I lacked a plan – a strategy – for my life. We often become so engrossed in our busyness that we forget to take time out, stop and take a deep breath – to realise where we are and where we are going. We have all heard the saying: ‘If you don’t know where you are going, any path will take you there! 

Pod-members, thank you for your wonderful input!  I’m delighted with the team’s individual contributions which have created a harmonious ‘whole’.  Together Everyone Achieves More!  It is the TEAM that counts.   Together we can Grow and spread our learnings. 

For more information on Executive Coaching using Integral methodologies, please contact Brenda Eckstein on +27 82 4993311 or brenda@146.66.90.172

126: Individual Growth, Part 2

August 13, 2013 by Brenda Leave a Comment

In the previous article we shared three ‘bean stories’.   Each participant in the twelve-week ‘Communication Skills’ training  course was given five dried beans and asked to come back to the next session with a presentation incorporating all five beans.   Their instructions included reflection using the beans as a metaphor for Growth.  They were to see what lessons or stories they could develop. 

Here are three more colourful stories from a different group currently engaged in a twelve-week programme.

L-R:  Zethu Cele, Ntombikayise Ngcobo, and Nomasonto Sithole.

L-R: Zethu Cele, Ntombikayise Ngcobo, and Nomasonto Sithole.

Zethu Cele - My 5 beans 

I divide my 5 beans into 5 important people in my life:

Friends, family, community, neighbours and colleagues. 

I’m also using 5 different colours to identify these people:

Glitter, green, pink, black and red. 

Friends - glitter

Family - green

Community - black

Neighbours - red

Colleagues - pink 

[1] Friends

My friends are very important people in my life because they are always there for me, when I am in a sad situation they come and comfort me. They carry my problems and find the solution; they make me feel like nothing wrong has happened. When I am in a happy situation they are also there with me. I can even ask advice, they give me good advice. That is why I refer to my friends as glitter because they are shining. 

[2] Family

My family are the most important people in my life because they made my future become brighter. They take care of me when I’m sick. They send me to school. They taught me about god, my culture, when I have financial problems they take care of me even if I don’t have any problem they are always with me. I refer to my family as green in colour because the care they give me leads me to green pastures. 

[3] Community

The people of my community I live with are important to me because I share some ideas with them of how are we going to develop our community. I refer to them as black because we are and we fight development. 

[4]Neighbours

My neighbours are also important people to me because if I need emergency help my neighbours are the first people to give help, although sometimes they cause problems, some of them are jealous. That is why I refer to them as red in colour. 

[5] Colleagues

My colleagues are also important to me because they make my job easier. I stay with them from 8h00 to 16h30, from Monday to Friday sharing the tasks of the department, without them I would not do my job properly. My colleagues are all ladies. I refer to them as pink.

Zethu, thank you for this delightful contribution. 

Ntombikayise Ngcobo - 5 Beans

5 BEANS

  1. GROWTH 
    To be able to grow anything, you need to make sure you know how you are going to go about getting the correct results.  When growing beans you first have to soak them in water until you see little sprouts from the bean.  In life to grow you need to nurture your talents and your God given gift.  By doing this you nurture your talents and gifts and then you are sure to get the best results ever.
  2. VALUE
    If you have one bean in your hand, you must not just see one bean; you must know that, if you plant that one bean you will get a whole lot when it is time to harvest.  Often in life we don’t realise that the things we have hold such great value.  You might not realise it at that time but this teaches us to always value what we have and we must take what we have and think outside the box as to what we can do with what we have, or maybe we don’t really have to think outside the box, maybe we need to realise that there is no box. 
  3. OPPORTUNITIES
    There are a lot of farming opportunities in our country and people can start farming projects in their communities.  Beans are easy to grow and when you plant one seed you are guaranteed to get more out than you put in.
  4. I would then plant my one bean.
  5. The last bean reminds me of my mentor at work, Zanele Mbeje.  During month end in our department it gets very busy and she always says “Eish, people times are hard, beans on toast…” 

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Ntombikayisa, thank you for your colourful and provocative contribution.

Nomasonto Sithole - Five good things about my 5 beans

  1. White
    It is a clean and elegant colour, most designers prefer white when they design their things. White can be mixed or matched with any colour. Most churches use white in their church uniforms.
  2. Blue
    We are surrounded by the sea, it is blue and the sky is blue too, if you look up in the sky where there are no clouds you just feel happy and warm and say, wow the sky is clear. Blue is the loveliest colour for the baby boys.
  3. Green
    It is the source of life, everything we eat that comes from the soil is green. Green is a natural colour.
  4. Orange
    I remember when I was 10 years old my grandmother bought me a 2 piece dress for Christmas it was a skirt and a shirt. I like orange because it reminds me of the good memories of having a grandmother, she used to tell us stories some of them were nice some were too scary but we enjoyed them. I real miss her a lot and sometimes I feel like crying when I’m thinking of my lovely grandmother.
  5. Lime
    It reminds me of my friend who was knocked by a car on our way from school, we were doing grade 6 and she liked the colour lime. Every time she wore something lime she liked to ask us to guess what colour underwear she was wearing.  Then when we guessed many colours that are not the same as hers, she used to say “oh my friend I’m wearing my favourite colour which is lime and she pulled her uniform up so that we can see, so we laughed and enjoyed that.

Nomasonto, you have painted some vivid ‘word-pictures’ for us.  Thank you! 

Isn’t it fascinating how beans can be a wonderful metaphor for Growth?  

If you’d like more information on our Communication Skills course (twelve sessions) or any other training or coaching that we offer, please contact Brenda Eckstein on +27 82 4993311 or brenda@146.66.90.172

125: Individual Growth, Part 1

August 11, 2013 by Brenda Leave a Comment

My symbol for Growth is a dried red kidney bean.  At most of our longer training courses, in Session 4, each participant is given five red kidney beans as part of their assignment for the next week.  Their instruction is that they should reflect on what these beans may symbolise in the personal development.  They are required to incorporate these in a prop for their presentation at the next session. 

At first the young engineers look at me in amazement.  What can you do with five kidney beans?  The two most obvious uses for the beans are planting or eating. However, if you plant them in the garden, you won’t be able to bring them back to the next session.  If you eat them, there is no useful evidence.  

Reflection, creativity and a bit of work enables them to come to the next session with life-changing messages.  Sometimes they are sung, danced, presented as a poem or in other exciting ways.  From the current ‘Communication Skills’ training, course running over a twelve-week period, I have chosen the outlines of three of the presentations as examples of what can be done.

Mark Sibiya (Mechanical), Nondumiso Hlongwane (Industrial), Sanjeev Sing (Mechanical).

Mark Sibiya (Mechanical), Nondumiso Hlongwane (Industrial), Sanjeev Sing (Mechanical).

Nhlakanipho Mark Sibiya - 5 Beans Memories 

I couldn’t think of anything very interesting about my beans. I spent the whole week thinking of what I can come up with, than over the weekend during a church service the Pastor mentioned something about never forgetting where you come from. Every pain you go through is not to kill you but to make you stronger. 

The first bean made me think of the first day I was born, my uncle who sadly passed away told me that the day I was born I actually opened my eyes earlier than a newly born should. So he named me Nhlakanipho which means Clever in English terms. 

The second and third bean I put them in pairs because to me it reminds me of our 2nd year birthday with a very close friend of mine who also sadly passed away 5 years ago. I put those in pairs because Promise and I started schooling together and we got along very well even our parents were friends. 

The fourth bean makes me think of my fourth year at University, this year was a very difficult year for me because in that year I was very emotional because my mother actually got very sick and with all the exam stress to add up to all of that I just couldn’t handle anything coming my way but with the grace of the lord we made it. 

The fifth one recalls my mum’s birthday which is on the 5th of February. This day after my mother had recovered we actually made her day very special to show her how much we really appreciate her in our life’s and for being very strong and fighting for her life just for us. 

So to me these five beans mean a lot as they have revealed some important parts of my life of which made me what I am today, a strong young man who prays.

Thank you, Mark for sharing part of yourself with us.  Your message is powerful. 

Next we have Nondumiso’s contribution:

Nondumiso Hlongwane - Productive negation of beans (seed)

For seed of bean to be reproduced, it has to undergo a process of negation. A bean kept in the kitchen chest drawer cannot reproduce more beans. 

Two beans out of five were thrown on the lawn, and three were kept comfortably in a chest drawer. Amongst two, one got on to an infertile place then died and one luckily fell unto fertile conditions allowing it to develop and grew.

Amongst three from the chest drawer, by chance one fell out and ultimately got swept out to a fertile lawn and developed into a plant. The two kept special bean in the chest drawer got rot for good. They rot because they were protected from the sun, storms and winds. 

A husband and wife were staying together with five children, while all of them were biological kids of the husband. Mother had only three and she used to spoil them throughout their childhood, she never gave tasks. All domestic work was done by the other two; the two were sent to execute difficult tasks sometimes in the rain and all other sort of discriminations. One of them gave up and the one had a strong perseverance, until she became successful in life.

Among the three kids who used to be kept incubated by their mother, the two enjoyed the comfort zone where else one did not enjoy that relaxation zone and chose to sympathize and join those whom were discriminated. She also became successful too.

 In conclusion, if person experiences adverse conditions and if he is a life-long learner, she stands to become successful. And another lesson that you get from this story is that even if you live under luxurious material conditions learning can help you to live a long successful life.

Nondumiso, your approach was novel and inspiring.  We appreciated the way you interpreted the lessons from the beans.

Sanjeev Sing - Five Beans Assignment

When I was given the task to do something creative with my five beans, I had no clue where to start. As the week went on, I realized that I am generally a very organized person and everything I do must have a flowing nature. I had thought about my life and what I want to achieve in my life and what better way to depict this than with beans. I just thought that sometimes thinking about what you want to achieve can be stressful as it isn’t an easy road. Representing these goals with simple beans made me realize I can achieve one goal at a time and gives me a structure to follow without the stress. 

In my bean collage, the first depiction is of me graduating at the end of the year. After my graduation I would like to invest in buying my own home. The next step for me is to buy my German engineered sports car which is shown in the collage. When I have gained enough experience in industry I would like to start up my own business, which is represented by the bean behind the desk. When I have reached the stage in my life where I have achieved all my previously mentioned goals, all that is left for me to achieve is my dream of learning how to fly an aero plane.

If something as simple as beans can achieve all this, then so can I.

Sanjeev’s visual presentation.

Sanjeev’s visual presentation.

Sanjeev’s visual presentation was unique.  He showed his five major goals and each one had a bean as the person’s head!   Well done, Sanjeev. 

So, what could you do with five dried beans?  How could they represent your goals or lessons learnt?  By being forced to be creative, we often surprise even ourselves with the insights that emerge. Try it, it works! 

In the article following this one, three more examples of Individual Growth are shared.  These are from a different group.  Beans certainly are inspiring, aren’t they? 

For more information on the 12-week ‘Communication Skills’ course or any of our other training programmes, please contact Brenda Eckstein on +27 82 4993311 or brenda@146.66.90.172

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