The Oprah Winfrey TV show started on September 8 1986 and ran continuously for 25 years. In the final show Oprah said that over the 25 years, she had spoken to nearly 30,000 ‘hopefuls’ – in other words, people who wanted to be on her show. Obviously, very few made it through the series of interviews culminating in their being chosen to appear on the show.
She said: "I've talked to nearly 30,000 people on this show, and all 30,000 had one thing in common: They all wanted validation. If I could reach through this television and sit on your sofa or sit on a stool in your kitchen right now, I would tell you that every single person you will ever meet shares that common desire. They want to know: 'Do you see me? Do you hear me? Does what I say mean anything to you?'
"Understanding that one principle, that everybody wants to be heard, has allowed me to hold the microphone for you all these years with the least amount of judgment…it's helped me to try to do that with an open mind and to do it with an open heart. It has worked for this platform, and I guarantee you it will work for yours. Try it with your children, your husband, your wife, your boss, your friends. Validate them. 'I see you. I hear you. And what you say matters to me.'"
This is a powerful lesson. Can you imagine how much better the world would be if every man, woman and child felt that they had been seen, heard and that what they said mattered. Isn’t that a huge lesson for each of us? We have a role to play, even if we don’t agree with what the person is saying.
Let me share a specific example: Geoff lives this principle in an effective way. I used to smile when our grandchildren were young and came to him complaining about each other. He would listen intently, and quietly say, ‘I have taken note of what you said’. He gave them the impression that he had seen them, he had heard them and what they said mattered. Usually that was the end of the conversation! They felt validated and were satisfied.
Practice this principle and you will be helping to make the world a better place for everyone.
My questions for you are:
- How powerfully do you feel the presence of others?
- In which ways do you acknowledge a person’s presence, even if you aren’t able to attend to them immediately?
- How open and non-judgemental do you appear?
- What could you do to focus more intently on the person speaking?
- What do you practice in order to minimise barriers to your being more receptive to what the person is saying?
- How can you show the speaker that what they say matters – even if you don’t agree with what they are saying?
For more information on Executive Coaching, either ‘in person’ or via electronic means, please contact Brenda Eckstein, brenda@146.66.90.172 or phone +27 82 4993311, www.strategy-leadership.com
Listen to the experts
Privacy remains an important right. Yet in some ways, new laws may appear to hamper our ability to communicate with our intended audiences. Reminding our clients of our existence and building relationships through communicating, on a regular basis, is key to the successful running of our businesses. So how are new laws going to dampen the way we operate?
This is a huge topic and I was pleased to see how Gary Eckstein has taken the lead in clarifying and simplifying the impact of legal changes for Small and Medium Businesses. In this article, ‘Here’s how the new spam laws could benefit SME’s’, published August 8 2019, his focus is on small businesses in Australia because that is the target audience of SmartCompany, the reputable magazine for which he has written this article. However, his content applies to a far wider range and is authentic as he substantiates his argument with clear evidence.
In addition, on Sunday August 11, in Let’s Talk Business, 1 million listeners on Australia’s most widely listened to radio stations (2GB (Sydney), 3AW (Melbourne), 4BC (Brisbane), 2CC (Canberra) and 6PR (Perth)) listened to the broadcast in which Gary was interviewed. Regarded by Mailchimp as one of their ‘experts’ Gary’s academic background (Master's degree from Henley-on-Thames where his research thesis was on e-marketing) and practical experience in business consulting and training combine to make him a sought after trainer and speaker at business gatherings and at universities.
Above are just two examples of how he shares his expertise and how his advice is sought. Visit his website and gain further valuable information.
My questions for you are:
• What are you doing to connect with the international experts in fields which affect your business?
• How can you adapt the valuable advice given in Gary’s article and broadcast to suit your needs?
• What is the most significant message relevant to your situation?
For more information on e-marketing and Mailchimp training please contact Gary via e-mail at gary@organicweb.com.au or visit his website www.organicweb.com.au. Please remember to scroll to the bottom to see the video of his recent lecture at Curtin University in Perth, Australia.
For more information on executive coaching, mentoring or personal strategy, please contact brenda@146.66.90.172