I didn’t know I couldn’t juggle.  This was an important discovery!  Why?  I thought I was good at ‘keeping all the balls in the air’.

Let me give you some background:  over the years I have become more and more aware of the importance of informal and ‘strategic’ alliances.  So, with an attitude of ‘what can I do to help you?’ I gravitate towards people with similar occupations and interests.    It’s all about interacting with people where I feel a sense of shared interest. 

I love networking!  It’s about connecting:

  • people with people, 
  • people with information or 
  • people with opportunities

So, on Thursday when my plans changed and I could make use of an opportunity to participate in a presenter’s workshop where the topic was ‘leadership’, I made use of the opportunity.  John Dickinson of ‘Living in Full Colour’ was the presenter and he captivated us throughout the day with his excellent stories and examples.  His coaching style and experiential learning methodology were an integral part of enabling the participants to see his powerful messages for themselves.

For example, at one point he asked us to form a circle and take two ‘balls’ from a pile in the centre.  He then juggled two of them and asked us to do the same.  Whew!  People managed with varying degrees of competence.  But I was useless!  I couldn’t even do the simple ‘throw and catch’ without dropping them.  This was a big lesson!  I had not realised I couldn’t juggle – because I had never tried!

Was this an important lesson?  Yes it was! The message to me was that ‘what we are not seeing’ can lead to complacency.  And to me, complacency and stagnation go together. My question was that if I lacked dexterity in that aspect of my life, what other areas should I be looking at?

The story continues:  I was fascinated at the break to notice that a few people had gone to the pile of ‘balls’ and were practising their juggling.  To me it appeared that these were the people who were good at juggling.  They were attracted to the balls and automatically practised when there was an opportunity.  This is a reflection on life in general:  we enthusiastically pursue what we have a passion for and this helps us to get better and better. If we aren’t good at something or don’t enjoy it, we don’t make use of opportunities to improve. 

It would seem that we have to make a conscious effort to perfect weaknesses.  But I do follow the current trend in leadership development which implies that unless a weakness is ‘critical’ we shouldn’t be as obsessed by improvement as we used to be.  If we encourage people to spend time on their passions or strengths, the results will usually be compounded.  (See ‘The Extraordinary Leader:  turning good managers into great leaders’ – Zenger and Folkman, ISBN 978-0-07-138747-7)

I asked John where I could buy some juggling balls and he graciously invited us to take some home with us.  So, I took two.  That evening, because I automatically try to do more thing than one thing at a time, I took the balls and practised juggling during the news.  At first my attempts were pathetic.  But, by the end of the TV news I could juggle! (Not well, but I could juggle two balls!)  I appreciate that I have a long road to go, but this is a beginning.

So, what is the importance of learning to juggle?  What are the lessons from this story?

Some of the questions I’d ask are:

  1. How are you going about exposing yourself to new and different situations, people, experiences etc.?  How are you expanding your horizons?
  2. What else are you doing to become aware of ‘what you are not seeing’?
  3. In order to improve in a specific area, once you have self-observed over a period of time, what relevant activities are you going to practise on an ongoing basis? And be specific about this. 
  4. How are you going to build on to this new habit and transfer it to other aspects of your life?

We need to constantly stretch ourselves in relevant ways.  This builds up the myelin sheaths around our nerve fibres and prepares us for greater things.  If we continue doing the same things over and over, we are not necessarily building ‘new myelin’ or improving ourselves in other ways. 

There is a further anecdote relating to the balls. My (almost unconscious) question to myself was:  ‘how else can I use the balls’?  I had placed them on top of the bookshelf in my office as a reminder of the learnings I had gained from them.  I was determined to ‘keep the lesson alive’ and discovered an opportunity.  Whenever I’m engrossed in a project at my computer I set the countdown timer for 45 minutes.  I have it a distance from my desk and getting up to switch it off is a reminder that I need to get up and move.  Now, each time the timer sounds, I walk across the room and juggle for a minute.

I have absolutely no intention of ever letting anyone see me juggle.  It’s just nice to know that my blinkers have been taken off!

You can see that I’m passionate about coaching, good coaching, effective coaching.  And it begins with ourselves.  What are you doing to ‘take your blinkers off’?  Be focussed on your vision, pursue those things that you are truly committed to (not just what society or others want you to do) but make sure that you ‘have your blinkers off’ – so that you notice what is going on around you.  You need to be able to recognise and optimise opportunities.  That requires action, effort.  But, do it!  Just do it!  And the benefits will be enormous.

 

An annual convention of the National Speakers Association of Australia (NSAA) is an ideal place to hone your thinking skills – especially when the presenters include diverse international experts like Dr. Edward de Bono, author of 83 books and the instigator of creative thinking. 

Shelley Sykes , Brenda Eckstein and Edward de Bono — NSAA Convention, April 2010.

I was privileged to be there again this year (April 16 to 19 2010).  In summarising my notes and reflecting on the information, I notice there are again many important messages and trends.  One that stands out is the necessity for us to make every effort to see things through various ‘frames’. We all see things differently and as speakers, trainers and coaches we should  try to present information in a way that will be more relevant to our various audiences (and by ‘audience’ I mean anyone to whom I’m addressing a message.)  This applies to individuals in their business and private communication, too.

I gained great value from this Convention, not only from the formal sessions, but from the people with whom I networked.  Some I had met before, others were newcomers to my circle of ‘friends and associates’.  The networking extends beyond the exchange of words in conversation.  Many of us are authors and in reading others’ ‘words of wisdom’, I am constantly astounded at the richness of thinking and ideas generated.  One example is the work of Dr Danny Beran, author of ‘Ten questions you must answer before you die’ (published March 2010). 

Gary Eckstein and Dr Danny Beran with ‘Ten questions you should answer before you die’.

Danny and I are both members of the New South Wales chapter of NSAA and we had shared experiences in authoring and launching our books.  So, I was excited to receive a copy of his book.  In addition to the ‘ten questions’ which he as a medical doctor invites his patients and readers to ponder, there is a section on ‘what your dog would love or need to tell you if he could talk’?  That certainly is a new perspective for me and I was motivated and had soon written myself two letters – one from each of my dogs!  I was amazed at what Ebon and Sabrena said – and how different their letters were.

An added dimension to my conference experience was having Gary (my son) with me, too.  We could share ideas and hearing his perspective on various issues added a richness to my experience in being there.  Thank you, Gary!

More articles reflecting on Edward de Bono, other exciting people and the messages from the NSAA Convention will follow in forthcoming blogs.

 

‘Brenda Eckstein International’ specialises in leadership development, a subject which has been of great interest to me for many years.  A leader who ignited my passion for this topic is a great man who is now retired and lives in Hermanus in the Cape, Republic of South Africa.  My interaction with him began many years ago.  Let me tell you the story:

Mike Mathews had been a teacher before he joined the corporate world.  So when the current chairman retired, Mike was the ideal candidate to become Chairman of the Board of Governors of the Girls’ Collegiate School in Pietermaritzburg, Republic of South Africa.

Mike Mathews

I had been invited to join this board a few months before he became chairman.  At age thirty, I was half the average age of the members of the board and most of them were experienced in education.  I felt inadequate and there seemed to be no way I could contribute effectively as a member of this board.  To improve my own performance at the board meetings, I joined a voluntary training organisation specialising in business meeting procedure and participation.  Yet, I was not inspired.  Meetings lasted more than five hours and ended late in the evenings.  Members had little sense of achievement, as we seemed to have no function except to attend boring meetings.

Then Mike Mathews became Chairman and there was a dramatic change.  The Board’s role (ensuring the school’s long term success and survival) was clearly defined and sound business principles were to be followed.  Mike made it clear that he expected positive results.  He said it was unnecessary to waste time having long meetings.  Board meetings were cut to two hours and the board members were divided into committees.  Members were given responsibilities.  I was given a special portfolio and became the Public Relations Chairman.  What did I know about that topic?  I had never done anything like that before but Mike showed great confidence in my ability to succeed.  He helped me by adopting a coaching style of leadership.

Although I had a great deal to learn, I was determined not to let our leader down.  I was inspired.  The new system involved each committee chairman producing a report (including explanations of budget variances) two weeks before each board meeting—something that had not been done before.  I looked forward to presenting these reports because I was proud of the achievements.  In addition, Mike through his genuine interest in each one of us and to make sure we were achieving, phoned each of us at intervals to see how we were doing.  I enthusiastically and eagerly awaited his calls to share our successes, and I made sure I had successes to share!  I was no different to any other members of his team.

I excelled under Mike’s leadership and I know that the other members of the board did, too.  He not only helped me to reach my potential but also became my role model for leadership.  As I progressed and held various leadership positions in the business world, I always looked back on the wonderful example that Mike set in getting the task done through helping to set a clear vision, motivating his team to achieve the vision and enabling each member to achieve infinitely more than they thought they were capable of.

I was truly privileged to have a coach like Mike.

PS   The school has grown and trebled in size and continues to thrive as ‘The Wykeham Collegiate’!

 

BEI successfully provides training in helping people ‘move up the ladder’.  Apply the ‘Ten tips’ illustrated below in your work and personal lives and you will increase your chances of being ‘the person of choice.’

(These were developed through the consolidation of input from various groups of participants in Brenda Eckstein International workshops.)

  1. Develop your competitive advantage
    Firstly identify your unique talents.  What are you able to offer that few others can?  Then develop these talents so that you cement a competitive advantage.  See how you can match your competitive advantage with the needs of the other person or the organisation. 
  2. Build positive ongoing relationships
    We all prefer to deal with people we know and trust. Use your conversation skills to help build positive relationships, and then actively sustain those relationships.  Treat networking as a process and not as a transaction.  Promote yourself, maximise your influence.
  3. Communicate effectively
    Get your point across effectively by first being sure what you wish to communicate.  Then convey it clearly in the most appropriate, effective and efficient manner. Check that your message has been perceived and understood correctly.
  4. Become an expert listener
    Become valued as an ‘expert’ listener so that others know they can depend on you to understand and follow through on instructions correctly.  Active listening will help you to process and remember facts and also enable you to be more empathetic.
  5. Be reliable
    Build up a history of following through on expectations and on your promises by completing all assignments efficiently and effectively.  Consistently meet or exceed people’s expectations of you.  People need to know that they can depend on you.  Make sure your performance is always exemplary.
  6. Exercise professionalism
    Be professional in all your behaviour.  This includes being punctual, respecting other people, their privacy and their time.  Present a professional image in all your actions and in your appearance.
  7. Recognise and optimise opportunities
    Actively look for ways in which you can be of assistance to others.  Find areas where you can help solve problems.    Also look for opportunities to pursue activities that you really enjoy or are good at.  Maximise those opportunities.
  8. Be approachable, friendly and yet polite
    Make sure that people find it easy to approach you to ask for help, or to share ideas.  Be friendly and easy work with.  Be respectful and polite.
  9. Practise honest and ethical behaviour
    Show that you are a person of integrity and that you can at all times be relied on to actively promote and practise honesty.  Be ethical in all that you do.  Do not tolerate complacency in this area.  Do the right thing.
  10. Be properly informed
    Have the correct facts ‘at your fingertips’. Consciously make an effort to learn all you can about your job and the functions of all with whom you interact.  Research and learn as much as possible about your product and services, your company, its competitors and the industry.
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