Feb 072012
 

‘Stepping stones’ Following the great interest shown in last week’s blog, ‘Isn’t it strange?’, I thought I’d share a photo of an area in our garden where the grass wouldn’t grow.  I battled for years to make it look good. Nothing helped.   And then I realised that trying to have lawn there was the ‘stumbling block’.

We created a path using stepping stones and this path connects two areas, each with its own charm.  And then I added a pool and flowering plants.  The ideas flowed.  This beautiful small area of my garden is now a source of great joy. It has become a ‘stepping stone’. From here I often watch the sun rise in the morning and listen to the birds.  Some of my clients enjoy being coached in this area, too. 

This ‘stumbling block’ has been converted to a ‘stepping stone’.

My questions for you are:    

  • What ‘stumbling block’s do you have in your life? 
  • How can you turn those into ‘stepping stones’? 

These concepts are incorporated in our coaching.  If you are interested in our services please contact me, Phone:  +27 33 3425432, Mobile:  + 27 82 4993311, brenda@strategy-leadership.com

 

People ask me to explain ‘integral coaching’.  For me, the easiest way to describe it is that we help people to turn ‘stumbling blocks’ into ‘stepping stones’.

I was delighted when Andrew Bryant started his workshop at the National Speakers of Australia convention in Melbourne in April 2011 with his theme poem, ‘Isn’t it strange?’  Andrew, thanks for sharing.

Isn’t it Strange?

Isn’t it strange, that princes and kings,
and clowns that caper in sawdust rings,
and common-folk like you and me,
are builders for eternity?

To each is given a bag of tools,
a shapeless mass and a Book of Rules;
and each must make ‘ere time has flown,
a stumbling block or a stepping stone.

R.L. Sharpe, “A bag of tools,” circa 1809

 

Most of us are inundated by e-mails and we may regard our unwanted messages as ‘time stealers’.  However, we appreciate those that enable us to function more efficiently in our business or private lives. These are important. We also enjoy receiving others because they share something special with us.  It might be a photo of a friend’s child’s first day at school or a grand-daughter wearing her new glasses.  It could be a message or newsletter giving us a glimpse of friends lives. Or it could be another personal message that we are delighted to receive. 

And occasionally – just sometimes we receive an unexpected message that truly enriches our lives. Let me tell you a story.  I’m part of a coaching group and my ‘class mates’ know I’m passionate about sunrise and the changing light at sunset.  These experiences are what I call ‘touchstones’.  

Every now and then, one of the class members will send me an e-mail with a photo and this is so easy to do from their phones.  I just love those e-mails.  Some-one has cared enough to ‘take action’ and let me know in a positive way that they are thinking about me.  That is truly powerful.

There have been many of these thoughtful messages and I’m grateful for every single one.   For example, Pam sent me a beautiful photo of sunrise with the message ‘I thought of you when I was driving to work this morning and took this photo’.  This week, Guy sent me the photo below with ‘Brenda, I thought of you and took this picture.’

This ‘cares for my soul’.  By the way, if you haven’t yet read Thomas Moore’s ‘Care of the Soul:  a guide for cultivating depth and sacredness in everyday life’, you’ll be doing yourself a favour if you order a copy and read it.

With one of the clients I’m coaching at present, as a distinction, we used a picture of blue sky, mountains and trees and then a busy river with logs and lumberjacks at the bottom of the photo. These were all metaphors for different aspects of his life.  Over the 6 months of our coaching sessions he has done exceptionally well in establishing new habits and enriching his life.  Recently, in the KZN midlands where we live, he moved home and told me about the new view from his veranda.  Yesterday I received this photo from him and was so very thrilled that he had thought of sharing.

His message was simple, but powerful:

Hi Brenda, 

This is my view every day from my veranda. 

Sky, trees & hills, “small” water. 

Regards, Gary 

This spontaneous message is also one of the best e-mails I have ever received.   It shows me a beautiful scene, one of great peace, and helps me to visualise his new life in context.  This ‘picture’ fits so well with our distinction and ‘future narrative’ in our coaching.  So, he has turned many ‘stumbling blocks’ into ‘stepping stones’ and I’m so happy for him.

So, what is my message to you?  There is great power in sharing. And I’m not talking about group messages.   Let people know individually you care and that you are thinking of them, in a way that ‘touches their souls’.  You’ll be enriching their lives and yours as well. 

You may wish to do the exercise below: 

1.  Calculate roughly how many e-mail messages you have received over the last week.  (You don’t have to be exact.) 

  •        How many of them have meant a great deal to you personally?
  •        What is it about those messages that have made you feel good?

You’ll most probably find that the percentage of meaningful messages you received is low.

2. Then reflect on:

  • How many individual messages (not group messages) have you sent where you have let some-one know sincerely that you thought of them in a special way?
  • Right now, look around you.  Who could you take a photo for?  Continue looking over the next few hours – or even days – until you find something that will mean a great deal to that person.  Send it to them with a message that will ‘touch their souls’.  The message can be very short – see the examples above.

Take action!  Tell others that you care.  Share in a personally meaningful way and you will be enriching the lives of others. You’ll also be building stronger relationships. 

You are welcome to share your stories with me – brenda@strategy-leadership.com  I look forward to hearing from you.  Thank you!

 

An important aspect of ‘integral coaching’ is helping people to discover their patterns of thinking, feeling and behaving.  Through rigorous self-observations, reflections, relevant practices and appropriate exercises we help clients turn ‘stumbling blocks’ into ‘stepping stones’. 

Patterns are important to me in my work and in my play, too.  As a child I was fascinated by patterns.  I remember a ‘Standard 1’ lesson run by Mrs. Chalmers, our class teacher.  She showed us how we could make patterns by repeating letters, spaces and colours.  We then turned our paper upside-down and repeated the same sequence.  Beautiful patterns emerged.  

Years later when I attended a course at UCT Summer School called ‘Finding the artist within’ we did similar exercises but used our signatures as the emblem to be used over and over again.  During the same course, I was introduced to Mandalas and I had one of those ‘aha’ moments.  I loved the way the creative process was even more important than the outcome.  Somehow I would ‘lose myself’ while developing the patterns. I haven’t ever purposely designed a Mandala.  Each seems to come ‘through’ me.  A one-day course in Sydney last year cemented that.  

It was only ‘natural’ when I started painting table-cloths a few months ago that I automatically used Mandalas as the pattern.  And with each, I allowed the pattern to develop as I proceeded. The photograph below shows a table-cloth I developed over a period of a few Saturday afternoons during 2011. 

Until last month, I was more aware of the ‘artistic’ side of Mandalas than the meditation aspect.  But attending sessions called ‘Mandalas to unmuddle the mind’ run by local artist, Jutta Faulds changed that!  

In her book, ‘Mandalas:  pages from my diaries’, Jutta explains that a Mandala is ‘usually a circle with a central pattern’.   ‘Mandala’ is a Sanskrit word meaning ‘circle’ or to quote a Buddhist scholar,  ‘the Mandala is an integrated structure organised around a unifying centre’.  She provides another quote:  ‘God is a circle whose centre is everywhere and whose circumference is nowhere’.  The importance of the circle as a symbol of wholeness dominates in many religions and cultures. 

Images in nature which echo this.  Two circles that have a great impact on our lives are the sun and the moon.  The earth is a circular structure, as are cells, and many flowers as well as animals such as snails. 

So, in Mandalas we combine nature as symbolised by the circle with no beginning and no end, and man-made elements represented as straight lines.  These could form squares or other shapes. 

Very often, the circle acquires symbolic meaning for the creator or the observer.   In ‘Creating Mandalas for insight, healing and self-expression’, S Fincher states, ‘It was found that the therapeutic benefits of making a Mandala had nothing to do with the content of the art work.  It is the process of making art that does the good…….. by making a Mandala we create our own sacred space, a place of protection, a focus for the concentration of our energies’.

Creating patterns helps us to express ourselves, communicate in a ‘different’ way.  Mandalas are an excellent way of doing this. Practices like this combine ‘left’ and ‘right’ brain activities and help us to recognise our own ‘patterns’.  From a coaching perspective, I have found that working with Mandalas is an excellent way of generating effective self-observations, reflections and practices with some clients.  These processes help us recognise and then act on our deeper understanding of ourselves.

There are many books and websites that provide excellent information on Mandalas.  One that I find particularly interesting is on Wikipedia

If you’d like more information on integral coaching, you are welcome to contact me.  I do however emphasise that not all clients benefit from doing Mandalas and they would not be assigned where not appropriate.  It is a tool which I personally recognised and is not necessarily associated with ‘integral coaching’.

© Copyright 2011 Brenda Eckstein International
© 2011 Brenda Eckstein International Suffusion theme by Sayontan Sinha